COMING SOON: An Interview with Dr. Earl, Monty's Brother
That's right, boys girls, and animals! Monty has a big brother, and he is a doctor! If you don't believe me, there are a couple transvestites in San Francisco who can attest to it. About 5 years ago or so, right before I moved from SF to NY, we were having dinner, Earl and me and our parents, to celebrate my Mom's birthday. It was a chic kind of a place in the Castro neighborhood. If any of you don't what the Castro is to SF, it's like your neighborhood post office, but replace lots of stamps with lots of gay people. Anyhoo a couple nicely dressed transvestites were crooning some old tunes during dinner, and when they took a break, my Dad waved them over. I don't know why he did this; perhaps he mistook them for some friends of Earl's, some of whom are into that thing. But these nice ladies sat down and chatted, congratulated Moms and complimented her on her boys. When they heard Earl was at the time plowing his way through Med School they oooooooohed and aaaaaaahed, and then they asked what I did ... At the time I was already an aspiring writer (who wasn't writing at all), and I mumbled something to that effect and mentioned that to earn my bread, at that time, I waited tables. One of them said, "Wow, Dr. Earl and the Waiter! Honey, you got some catchin' up to do!" And that's why I hate gay people. Just kidding. I actually love gay people, the only thing that occasionally makes me uncomfortable is knowing that I will never have sex with any of them. Because I have that as a potential weapon to control all other humans...
All yukking aside, sorry I have updated in a few. My new strategy, after the kielbasa-guarantee-fiasco, is to promise FREQUENT updates without a SPECIFIC scehdule. And to CAPitalize things RANdomly in an ANNOYING manner. See, the thing is, though I hain't bin posted in a couple days I have been working furiously, hectically, viciously, to arrange this interview with such an esteemed interviewee. Believe me, the media contacts, the agents, the red tape ya gotta cut through to line up, "legally," a guy of this caliber... So in other words I am trying to provide you with QUALITY. As opposed to... what's that other three-syllable q-word people always mention in opposition to quality?.... don't tell me.... quality, not.... OH, that's it! My priority is to provide you with quality, not quarterbacks. You want a quarterback, gimme five bucks and I'll give ya Vinny Testaverde! Hyuk hyuk!
Speaking of sports... Man, those playoffs!.... That ALCS! Did you see that one, really amazing thing? You know what I'm talking about? I forget which game it was.... Maybe game 5... the craziest shit went down.... yeah, this dude in the upper deck behind left field ate SEVEN HOT DOGS! That shit was crazy!
BY MONDAY: The Dr. Earl Interview
~Monty
YES YES NO!
  
3:02:46 PM 
|
|
