Merry TownHall to All, and to All a Good Night!
Ann Coulter
It's really the people in the blue states who are the busybodies, always meddling in the affairs of the people in the red states. Is it anybody's business if Ann wants to skin Roy Moore and wrap herself in his hide in an effort to BE him?
The alleged legal basis for removing all of these Ten Commandments monuments is the establishment clause of the First Amendment. That clause provides: "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion." The vigilant observer will note instantly that none of the monuments cases involves Congress, a law or an establishment of religion.
[snip]
It's never Jerry Falwell flying to Manhattan to review high-school graduation speeches, or James Dobson making sure New York City schools give as much time to God as to Mother Earth, or Pat Robertson demanding a creche next to the schools' Kwanzaa displays.
Yeah, it's just Jerry Falwell getting on TV to complain about Florida allowing homosexual sodomites to have some of the same benefits as heterosexual sodomites, James Dobson making sure that people don't shop at New York City department stores, and Pat Robertson talking about nuking buildings in Washington, D.C. Now, don't YOU feel like a hypocrite for complaining about Fred Phelps?
Jay Bryant
Somebody must have given Jay a trivia calendar for Christmas.
In English, Dionysius is known as Denis the Little, but his work resulted in big changes.
Suzanne Fields
Middle-class people are too picky, too diet-obsessed, and too trendy. Poor people are too fat. Starving people aren't allowed to eat Soylent Green. And the other people in the pricey dining establishments Suzanne favors show their butt cracks!
Coinciding with sophisticated palates in food is the dressing down of diners at expensive restaurants. In three-star establishments with tabs that can run into hundreds of dollars for dinner for two, men are no longer required to wear ties or jackets and women who once displayed elegant décolletage are more likely now to reveal a less appetizing décolletage of the backside, often in duds that look as if they were shunned at the Union Rescue Mission.
Marvin Olasky
The question on everyone's lips these days is "Why is a smart guy like Marv a Christian conservative?" The answer will shock and astound you!
Oh, my intellectual credentials are OK. Sky-high SAT scores. A top chess player in high school. Graduated from Yale in three years. Ph.D. with super recommendations from impressed professors. Written lots of books. Yada yada.
Neil Cavuto
Okay, forget that friend of Neil's whose unnatural generosity caused Neil to predict a big increase in holiday spending this year. Instead focus on Becky, a really nice salesclerk. So, while there wasn't an increase in holiday spending as promised, and some merchants will undoubtedly go broke this year, at least Becky will be there to cheer them up as they wait in the unemployment lines.
As the line wound its way closer to her, I finally could read her nametag. "Becky" was all it said. She seemed in her mid-50s or so, heavyset. I'm a horrible judge of such things.
George Will
George Washington. HE never got a blow job from an intern on Christmas Eve, and back then, people liked it that way! And sure, his holiday celebration may SOUND dirty, but that's just the way Will writes.
Washington's journey to Mount Vernon, which he reached after dark, December 24, was a moveable feast of florid rhetoric and baked oysters.
Robert Novak
It's not NICE to diss Mother Nature . . .I mean, Robert Novak -- as Rep. Ralph Regula will soon find out.
People in my district don't care a whole lot about what Novak thinks about it," he told Washington Post reporter Dan Morgan.
[snip]
"I know better than some bureaucrat what's good for my district," Regula told Morgan.
That might sound arrogant, but Regula was inadvertently revealing how the system really works. In the last fiscal year, earmarks rose 12 percent to reach $22.5 billion. Regula talks about taking care of "my district" (which he does), but his influence is nationwide. He is one of the "cardinals" -- chairmen of the House Appropriations Subcommittees. If a House member wants federal funds for his district, he had better kiss a cardinal's ring. That is why federal spending control might well start with real term limits on appropriators.
Alan Reynolds
The NY Times, working on behalf of the Democratic candidates, is trying to make you think that the economy isn't going all that great for working people. They even went so far as to claim that income resulting from stocks, bonds, and one's extensive inherited wealth isn't EARNED income. But that's just what MARX and those other commies want you to think. What about Alan's 90-year-old mother-in-law: how DARE you say she is a parasite, when she's really a slum lord!
The phrase "class warfare" has been overused to mean merely resentment of people who earn high salaries by managing complicated businesses, rather than by singing, acting or playing golf.
So, TownHall. In conclusion, let's sing along with Burl Ives:
Have a towny, hally Christmas
With the best rants from the right.
I don't claim that they're all sane
But enjoy your Christmas night!
4:28:15 PM 
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