President Discusses America’s Leadership in Global War on Terror
Before showing up at a local diner for a photo op ("President Helps Economy by Eating") and then engaging in a surreal bit of performance art with the press (see Pandagon for the full story) George Bush gave a speech. WhiteHouse.gov calls it "Remarks on the War on Terror," but it's really just the Bush-Cheney 2004 stump speech, with some SOTU address mixed in. You'd think that with all the money he's raising, Bush could afford more than two speeches a year. Hey, I'll write him one for free for his next engagement.
But the lucky people of New Mexico did get to to hear such popular stump speech favorites as:
1. The lame local opening joke: ("The last time I came to Roswell, I wasn't on Air Force One. I was headed to Ruidoso from Midland. (Laughter.) Roswell was what we call a watering stop.")
2. The thanking of local supporters: ("I'm honored to be traveling today with your Congressman Steve Pearce. (Applause.) He's what they call a freshman. That's first year.")
3. A call to the faith-based armies of compassion to attack.
4. The reminder that despite what the Democrats and Paul Krugman may tell you, the economy is great. Sure, we had a recession, but that was because of the Clenis. And just when Bush got things going again, the terrorists attacked. And then when he got rid of THEM, we had corporate scandals involving dishonest business execs who donated filthy lucre to Bush-Cheney 2000. (My favorite line from this part of the speech: "And just as we're beginning to get our feet on the ground again, we had a problem with some of our fellow citizens telling the truth." I wonder if he glares at Cheney when he says it.) But everything is great now, thanks to Bush's tax cuts.
5. No Child Left Behind. Because if you believe that every child can learn to read and write and add and subtract, then every child can learn to read and write and add and subtract. So, we must teach them to read and write and add and subtract, and then test them on reading and writing and adding and subtracting. And then we will see that they are reading and writing, and adding and subtracting. Yup, No Child Left Behind is just that tedious in reality.
So, all that came from the Bush-Cheney 2004 standard speech. But for the fine folks of Roswell, he mixed in some leftovers from the SOTU Address (We're at war, and I am your only hope; the Coalition of the Willing is 34 flavors strong, but we won't be seeking permission slips or lunch money from France; Ask me about my "Low Paying Jobs for the 21st Century" plan; PERMANENT TAX CUTS, woo hoo!) But there were also a few new twists that I found interesting. Let me share some of them with you:
*We've got to make sure there's -- literacy is the law of the land.
If the kids don't learn to read and write as directed, we will arrest them!
*We're in a different era. We need to view law differently. We'll always protect our Constitution and safeguard individual rights, but our law enforcement, those who collect information and share information and expected to act on information, must be able to talk together.
Many of the tools in the Patriot Act have been used by law enforcement to chase down embezzlers and criminals. It is essential that those same tools be used in fighting against terrorists. We're in a different era. The Patriot Act is going to expire. The Congress needs to renew it, for the sake of fighting the war on terror. (Applause.)
Yes, many of the "tools" were used by law enforcement to investigate embezzlers. And also criminals. And some of the "tools" were used to gather foreign intelligence information. But the Patriot Act allows the foreign intelligence-gathering standards (low requirements for probable cause, lack of close judicial supervision, and no need to notify the affected person about surveillance and/or seizures of evidence) to apply to criminal matters (where people used to have Constitutional protections against unreasonable search and seizure). Thanks to the Patriot Act, the FBI can seize YOUR bank account information, credit card reports and other financial records if an FBI Assistant Special Agent in Charge (the number two guy in a local FBI office) authorizes it -- and you might not find out about it until you're on trial. And you don't even have to be suspected of terrorism for them to do it! So, learn to view law differently -- we're at war.
*[T]he message, march to war, is not conducive for optimistic investment. Marching to war is negative, not positive. It's hard to be optimistic about the future when you look on your TV screen and it says, America is marching to war. Now we're marching to peace and freedom. (Applause.)
Wow, that's ever so much better than marching to war! I bet all the soldiers in Iraq will invest now!
*And we passed economic stimulus packages, which is a fancy word for giving people their money back. (Applause.) We acted on this principle. It was a principled decision.
Hey, this proves Paul O'Neill WAS telling the truth!
When advisers presented the President with the tax cut (a plan that disproportionately benefits the wealthy), Bush said, "Haven't we already given money to rich people? This second tax cut's gonna do it again." The President added, "shouldn't we be giving money to the middle?" But, according to O'Neill, Karl Rove just kept repeating "Stick to principle. Stick to principle," and the mantra eventually won Bush over.
So, I guess a bunch of White House apparatchiks owe Mr. O'Neill an apology, don't they?
*We decreased the -- well, we got rid of the death tax, or put it on its way to extinction. We listened to New Mexico's farmers and ranchers and small business owners, that understand if you work all your life to build up an asset, you shouldn't be taxed twice, you shouldn't be taxed once as you're building up your asset and twice after you go on. (Applause.)
But why the hell would you care? You're dead! And if you've worked all your life to build up an asset, why should somebody else get it tax free? Bunch of lousy freeloaders! In fact, they're probably the ones who killed you -- to inheirit that small business or ranch you worked so hard to build. Paying some taxes is the LEAST that should happen to them.
*And then, in order to stimulate our economy, everybody got tax relief. You see, we didn't try to pick and choose who won and who lost. We said if there's going to be tax relief, let's be fair about it. If you pay taxes, you ought to get relief.
And then, in an effort to be super fair, they said, "Let's give more relief to the rich, because we like them the best."
*We've got people doing jobs in America that Americans won't do. And that's helpful to our economy. It's helpful that there are some people that are willing to the do the work that others won't do.
I.e., it's helpful to our economy to allow some work to be so dangerous, dirty, and poorly paid that no Americans will want to do it, because that keeps labor costs down.
*People are working and trying to put food on the table for a family in Mexico. You've got to understand why they're here. They're motivated out of the deep love of their children and their wife. They're working just as hard as any other mom or dad do for the same reason -- they have an obligation and a responsibility. Those people need to be treated with respect. They need to be honored for their commitment to their families.
I actually liked this part. I wonder if he'll continue to say it when he's not speaking in a state so close to the Mexican border.
*The Oval Office is an interesting place to meet, particularly, people who are beginning to struggle with democracy and freedom because it's a reminder that the institutions, at least in this country, are always bigger than the people. Sometime we've got an all-right President, sometimes not all right. But the presidency, itself, exists.
Code for: "I am one of the all-right Presidents because I use the Oval Office to meet foreign vassals and to teach them about democracy. Clinton was not all right. He used that Oval Office for naughty purposes. But he was still President, because the impeachment didn't work. We all hate him, don't we?"
*People say, what are you doing in the long-term? We know what you're doing in the short-term, we can hear you and see you -- you're sending troops after the killers. What about the long-term plan against terrorists? Free societies do not breed terrorism. Free societies are peaceful nations. What we're doing for the long-term, we're promoting freedom. (Applause.)
Promoting freedom by creating an Iraq that may be on the path to civil war. That's our long-term plan.
Okay, we never came up with a long-term plan. But wasn't it great when Bush sent the troops after those killers?
*It's an unbelievably great country we have, because the people are so strong, so resilient, so compassionate, and so decent. We believe values in our heart that we just won't change.
Yup. We do. That's one of our best qualities.
Anyway, that was basically it. No word on whether he hit up the military academy cadets (there to serve as a backdrop) for campaign donations.
And then he went to that diner and berated the press for asking him questions instead of stimulating the economy by buying ribs, and thereby reminded all the voters watching the Democratic primary in New Hamphire that he still existed. Which was the point all along, of course.
1:59:32 AM 
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