Friday, May 28, 2004

A Couple of Programming Notes   1.  Many other blogs will be deserting you this holiday weekend.  They will be jetting off to exotic locations, where they will frolic in the sun with their super model girlfriends and/or boyfriends, enjoy catered cookouts with their billionaire families, and hobnob with their witty, sophisticated friends (and while you won't be able to catch the comments before the shared laughter, you know they will be talking about you).    But not this blog.  It has no money, family, significant others, or friends.  Therefore, you can check in with it over the holiday weekend and feel better about your own pitiful life. 2.  Happy Furry Puppy Story Time With Norbizness turns one today.  Stop by and wish it well.  Be sure to bring an age-appropriate birthday gift.  Guns are always nice.  So are strippers. 7:01:15 AM     comment [] trackback []   Two Great Things That Go Better Together   WorldNetDaily reports that the Christian secession plan is going great, and the number of those actively interested in forming their own Godly nation in the former South Carolina "has jumped from a few dozen people to hundreds."  All thanks to The Dark Window.  And WorldNetDaily.  And Sean Hannity. Many people are also stepping forward to work as volunteers, and [Chris Burnell, head of ChristianExocus] himself has had numerous appearances on radio talk shows as well as "Hannity and Colmes" on the Fox News Channel. [...] Asked by Sean Hannity about forces which might try to stop the secession if the movement sees success, Burnell responded, "We're receiving e-mails from liberals around the country who can't wait to get rid of us, so there's a benefit to everyone here." True.  It's a win/win situation.  Except maybe for the current inhabitants of South Carolina.  But hey, those hundreds (well, The Plan calls for 50,000 of them, but you have to work with what you have) of gay-marriage hating, womb-baby loving, anti-tax, anti-church/state seperation Christians not only have to migrate to SC, they also have to be elected to state office.  So, the there does seem to be an easy way for evil South Carolinians to foil their efforts -- just be careful who you vote for, and vote no on Prop 15 ("Are you tired of government-endorsed sin"?) Anyway, once they've formed their own nation, they'll need a President or King or something like that, right?  (Sure, God will be their leader, but He's a busy guy, and so He'll need somebody to go to meetings and take notes for Him.)  How about the guy who said: "The job of the president is to help cultures change," he said. "I can be a voice of cultural change." And that would be George W. Bush.  Just think: if he goes with the religious nuts to South Carolina and they all secede, it will be a win/win/win situation.  The above Bush quote comes from a Townhall column by Marvin Olasky.  Let's read the first paragraph: THE WHITE HOUSE -- Battered but not beaten, President Bush met with several journalists here on Wednesday and said terrorists "want to sow fear so that we'll withdraw. I will not yield to them, to their blackmail, to their murders ..." Okay, so Marve is at the White House.  We knew that Marve was Bush's guru and the guy who thought up "compassionate conservatism," so I guess it's natural that Bush would invite him to chat, now that his poll numbers are low.  But who were those other "several journalists"?  I can't find any reports of the meeting, so I guess none of the major media outlets got invited.  You think that maybe only "Christian" journalists were in attendance? Per Marvin, here are some of the things Bush talked about: He wants to influence domestic culture. He spoke, as he has before, of his opposition to abortion and his desire to "promote a culture of life, (with) every child welcomed to life and protected by law." ... President Bush also wants to influence Iraqi culture: Iraqis "haven't developed the habits of free people yet." But he believes they will, because "freedom is the Almighty's gift to every person in the world." ... Asked if something inherently evil in Islam makes the process of peacemaking difficult, the president specified that he was condemning radicals with "a deep desire to spread an ideology that is anti-woman, anti-free thought, anti-art and science." ... He said, when asked about how he expresses his Christian faith, "I have a fantastic opportunity to let the light shine," but immediately followed that with a caveat: "I will do so, however, as a secular politician. ... My job is not to promote a religion but to promote the ability of people to worship as they see fit." So, yeah, I think it was another one of Bush's evangelical get-togethers.  I guess he's decided to bypass the ungodly elite media and just talk to his brothers and sisters in Christ from now on.  They give him better press anyway. 6:33:54 AM     comment [] trackback []   Shorter Wingnuts   My Memorial Day Tribute to the unknown* blogger who invented the "shorter" concept. Neal Boortz, "The Dumbing Down of America" Half of Americans are really stupid and deserve to be in a dictatorship because they don't believe the economy is doing great, and so soon we'll have socialized medicine and then "Private citizens will be sent to jail for trying to find a private doctor to treat their ills outside of the approved and official government plan. " Bill O'Reilly, "Fighting to Win" America needs to be more like Genghis Khan.  Because someday a captured terrorist will know about an impending chemical or biological attack and we'll give him the same rights as a bank robber, and then you and your family will die horribly.  "Do you think that's a sane strategy? And do you think the ACLU is looking out for you and your family? " Rush Limbaugh, "Feminazis Whine over Cop Babe Success!" Four women ("cop babes") were made chiefs of police in recent weeks -- but the newspaper story quoted a foundation which pointed out that women only make up 13% of police officers, so this proves that feminazis won't be happy until they rule the whole world.  Oh, and Rush is mixing alcohol with his pills, as this paragraph proves: So what's the reaction to this? Well, here's my reaction, in the typical Rush fashion: If we've got four new female police chiefs out there, then I guess we can watch out for some naked pyramids among prisoners in these new jailhouses that these women ran, because we had a woman running the prison in Abu Graib. That's how you do it.   *I don't think we'll ever know the name of that brave American blogger who invented the "shorter" concept, but be sure to honor their memory by visiting the Tomb of the Unknown Blogger on Monday. 5:26:01 AM     comment [] trackback []   Today's Family Circus Prediction   The Cartoon: (go here to see it in color): Mommy is putting clothes in the washer.  She is stooped, and once again is missing part of her face.  She looks wan and guarded.   The Gang of Four confronts her, their faces grim and accusing.  Billy has the paper in his hands -- it's turned to the movie listings.  Billy says: "Which way did that 'maybe' lean, Mommy -- a 'yes' or a 'no'?" Explication: Mommy has just killed Daddy, and is trying to destroy the bloody evidence (the red thing on the floor that looks like a severed arm gives her away) .  The kids know what she's done, and are making it clear that unless she lets them watch Van Helsing Slays The Olson Twins, they will report her to the authorities. Prediction: Bil Keane predicts that Scott Peterson's attornies will be caught trying to bribe jurrors with free movie passes.  Hey, let's see YOU do better! 4:42:20 AM     comment [] trackback []   The Lying Liars All-Star Show   Ann Coulter was on the "O'Reilly Factor" tonight.  I watched her segment, so you didn't have to.  (Making me something of a Christ figure).  Here's my report: Ann wore a miniskirt, as proof of her intellectual bona fides, and a turtleneck, to hide her Adam's apple. Bill introduced her as the author of Treason, which will be coming out in paperback in the fall (presumably, for election-time bulk buying).  He said that her book had done well, and asked Ann if it had sold half a million copies.  She smiled snidely, and replied that it had sold more than that many.  Bill, of course, was checking to see if her book had sold more copies than his.  He claims that 800,000 copies of Who's Looking Out for You were sold (so the true figure is probably about 600,000).  I can't find any figures for Ann's book sales, but a USA Today report on the best selling books for 2003 listed Treason at #58, with Who's coming in at #63.  Ann's snideness seems to indicate that she's still ahead of Bill in books sales, and more macho than him. Anyway, the butt sniffing done, Bill asks Ann if President Bush has done anything wrong in his conduct of the war.  She ways that the war "is going magnificently," and it's just the media's fault if anyone believes differently.  Bill says that Fox News' military experts don't think it's going magnificently, and asks Ann what she knows that the military experts don't.  She asks for specifics on what those so-called experts think isn't going well.  Bill says there aren't enough troops on the ground to provide security, and that the Fox News people in Iraq won't even go out of their hotels, "which isn't a good sign."  Ann replies, "I wouldn't go out of my hotel in Washington, D.C."   The implication: Ann would rather live in Tikrit than D.C. We will help her pack.  Oh, and we also learn what we always suspected: all those Fox News reports from Iraq are done from hotel lobbies and movie sets. Bill then asks if Ann thinks that there were any mistakes made about the WMDs.  Ann says that we DID find WMDs, and that, once again, it's just the media that makes people think there weren't.  She names some of the WMDs found: plans, programs, "a room where human experiments" were designed to take place.  Yes, the invasion saved America from Saddam's Rooms of Mass Destruction. Bill asks if she thinks the Bush administration (and Cheney in particular) overstated the WMDs, and underestimated the difficulty of the reconstruction phase.  Ann says no.  She claims that Cheney said that the reconstruction would be difficult -- yes, it's just the media that has obscured that.  The only person she finds guilty of misspeaking about anything is Colin Powell: "The one guy who lies is the one that the liberals like the most."  And because he is the one guy whom the liberals like, she's willing to throw him to the wolves.  But everybody else has done everything perfectly in this war, and it's the media's fault if you think differently.  The media wants America to think that we're losing, like they did after the Tet offensive in Vietnam, so that we will pull out of the war, and lose.  You know, because they're all liberals, and therefore traitors. Bill says that "some people" on the right have said that the abuse at Abu Ghraib is no worse than fraternity hazing, and asks Ann if she agrees with that comparison.  She pretends not to understand what he's talking about, and they dance around just who "some people" might be until she finally says, "If you're talking about Rush, he never said that." Did too.   Did not.  Etc.  Bill states that Rush is his big radio rival, so he's well aware of what Rush said.  Ann replies, "Rush definitely didn't say that."  And she's right -- a listener said that the abuse was like a fraternity hazing, and Rush agreed, and added that it was like a Skull and Bones initiation.  What do we learn from this part of the interview: That, as we suspected, Bill spends his days monitoring his enemies.  (He does kinda look like Richard Nixon, doesn't he?)  And that Ann has so defined herself as the blonde bitch goddess of the trailer trash wingnuts that she can't even mildly criticize Rush's words, but must intead respond with her patented mixture of lying, lying even harder, and lying by omission and misdirection.  She learned well from her master, Joseph Goebbels. Ann finally does agree that Rush said something that everybody keeps making a big deal about, but she claims that it was only a couple of minutes out of a 3-hour show.  Bill disagrees and mentions some of Rush's statements from other days.  Ann brushes him off, saying that, "There were six malefactors," they've been caught, so we should just move on now.  Bill agrees that the media has made too much of the matter.  That's Bill being fair and balanced: "Sure, Rush is a jerk and you should  listen to my radio program instead of his, but we don't need to know about other instances of prisoner abuse, or prisoner murder, or Pentagon policies which allow and/or promote prisoner abuse, or just who at the top ordered what, because there's a war going on.  My willingness to denounce Rush and criticize Rumsfeld and the CIA, while still loving Bush and the war, prove that I am nonpartisan, like I always said." Bill has them stop the "going to commercial" music so he can ask Ann one last question: doesn't she think she'd be more persuasive if she was less strident?  She says her books sales prove that she is reaching plenty of people.  Bill says she has a "niche," but she isn't reaching the broader audience she might if she was less shrill.  She looks him right in the face and says that her book sales are better than those of who claim to be less strident, so she thinks she is doing just fine.  After the show, Bill shoves a spoon handle into her brain stem, killing her instantly. 4:07:56 AM     comment [] trackback []

© Copyright 2004 World O' Crap. Last update: 6/1/2004; 4:36:57 AM. This theme is based on the SoundWaves (blue) Manila theme.