We Get Mail
I'm tired and out of ideas today, so I was thinking it would a great time to share some reader mail.
1. First, here are a couple of items from our friend David E.
Look at this job posting I saw on Monster.
We are seeking a Marketing and Events Manager for the NYC Host Committee 2004 who is driven, energetic, detail-oriented and possesses a high degree of enthusiasm for special event marketing.
Responsibilities include being a part of the Marketing and Events team for the Republican National Convention, executing the strategic plans for the marketing and events department and interacting with other City agencies.
The Host Committee is dedicated to facilitating a turn-key, seamless event for the Republican National Convention while showcasing the best of New York City.
The ideal candidate will possess 2+ to 5 years of marketing experience, a comprehensive understanding and background in major special events marketing, sensitivity to deadlines and strong organizational, research and communication skills. Ability to accept direction and work independently. Knowledge of Excel, Power Point and Word is a must.
Now...do you really think it takes 2-5 years of experience and a "comprehensive understanding" to order cartloads of hookers?
Well, they do want the event to be turn-key and seamless, so it sounds like really classy hookers would be di rigeur -- and knowing where to get them requires a lot of pimping experience, plus a knowledge of Excel and Power Point.
David found another position that might be right up somebody's alley:
Jazz at Lincoln Center seeks a House Manager to direct and manage all front of house activities for three performance venues. High degree of customer service and people management skills required; performance venue front of house management experience preferred. High priority given to candidates with strong military leadership background.
As in, have your tickets out when you get to the door or we're breaking out the electrodes?
Or possibly as in, latecomers will be shot. In any case, it sounds like it might be a fun job, and getting the ushers to march in cadence and attack anybody who talked during a performance would probably very fufilling to somebody just out of the Marine Corps. so, we appreciate David's passing along this information so we could share it with you.
2. Well, that was all of our reader mail. But here are a couple of emails that might be of interest to one or more of you:
Dear World o'Crap
In his Inaugural Address, President Bush called on all Americans to reach out to our neighbors and work together to strengthen our communities.
Today, I'm asking you to reach out to your friends, family and neighbors by hosting a Party for the President on July 15th.
So, the way to strengthen our communities is to host political Tupperware parties? Or are you saying that President Bush's Inaugural Address was actually a coded call for citizens to host election activies in his honor? And who are you to be asking me to host a Party for the President anyway?
On that day, I will join you and tens of thousands of supporters in a live conference call.
Thank you very much for all you have done and will do in this campaign. George and I really do appreciate it.
I look forward to speaking with you on July 15th.
Sincerely,
Oh, sorry Madame First Lady -- I didn't recognize you at first, since you don't usually mass email me. Anyway, I'd love to chat, but if I invited my friends and neighbors to a party where I made them write postcards urging people to vote for your husband, I wouldn't have any friends, and my neighbors would ride me out of town on a rail. But your appreciation for what I've done for George's campaign means a lot -- thanks for noticing.
But wait, here's an Important Message from the Director of Volunteers
Dear Bush Volunteer,
Thank you for signing-up to be a part of our Bush Volunteer program. After reviewing your profile, we noticed we are missing some of your contact information.
Um, yeah. I guess my profile is a little sketchy, as I never gave you my telephone number. Or address. Or name. See, I'm just not ready for that kind of commitment right now. But we can still be friends, okay?
Your support means a great deal to all of us at Bush–Cheney ’04. We are grateful to have you on our team and look forward to working with you as we head toward a great victory on November 2nd.
Sincerely,
Trenholm Boggs
Director of Volunteers
Bush – Cheney ’04, Inc.
Hmmm, Trenholm Boggs. TBoggs. That sounds kind of familiar, somehow . . .
Anyway, if all the other Bush volunteers are as hardworking and dedicated to the cause as I am, that great victory is a slam-dunk, to quote George Tenet.
3. And hey, here's something that sounds important:
Problem with PayPal Account
From: pfwqprts-zhxj@hotmail
Dear customer,
We recently noticed one or more attempts to log in to your PayPal account
from a foreign IP address:
Please visit PayPal as soon as possible to change your password:
[Snip spoofed PayPal site address]
Thanks for your patience as we work together to protect your account.
Sincerely,
The PayPal Team
You know, it's a little odd that PayPal sends official communication from a hotmail account assigned to "pfwqprts-zhxj," but they said they were sincere, so how can I doubt them?
And it seems that pfwqprts-zhxj isn't the only member of the PayPal Team working to alert me to this problem, because I got the same mesage from iytlyzuf-effu@yahoo.com and dpjxsmnm-ylom@lycos.com. What a great group of people, all looking out for me, and all using a fine array of free email accounts.
But I think the best of the bunch was service@paypal.com, because he went to the trouble of copying the PayPal logo and coming up with an authentic-sounding email address -- only to blow it all with a faulty grasp of the English language:
Dear valued eBay member,
It has come to our attention that your billing informations are out of order. If you could please take 5-10 minutes out of your online experience and update your personal records so you will not run into any future problems with the online service. Failure to update your records will result in account termination. Please update your records in maximum 24 hours. . . This PayPal notification was sent to your mailbox.
Hey, it WAS sent to my mailbox --this message must be legit! And it sounds an awful like what TBoggs said in his email, and he's vouched for by President Bush.
But wait, when did PayPal start hiring Russian members for their customer service team? Just to be safe, I think I'll report it (and all the others) to spoof@paypal.com, ;and use my time to respond to that nice wife of the foreign military leader who wants to transfer $45.5 million into my bank account. It seems she heard that I was trustworthy -- I guess one of you must have vouched for me.
4. Well, I did get one more reader letter. It's from Dan H., and he writes:
I just happened to log on to your website (by accident of course). The name is fitting. This is nothing but shit.
Thanks, Dan, for taking the time to tell me this. I hope that (by accident, of course) you find your way back to Lucianne.com, where you'll feel more at home.
And that's it for Mail Day. I'll be back later, once I think of something to post.
5:56:57 AM 
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