"Children, you don't ever have to leave home."
So, what's new with America's Worst Mother™ (a licensed trademark of TBogg Gifts and Snark) and her precious darlings, Allouette, Persnickety, Diphthong, and He-man? Well, TBogg has the definitive report (and an illuminating insight into where Meghan purchases her literary devices). But, as you can see from the NRO graphic, this week's column is about how Meghan's children don't want to grow up. It's also about how they're slow.
Anyway, it all starts when a black mother on NPR says that she wants her son to marry a black woman. For some reason, this wounds the tender sensibilities of Persnickety, Diphthong, and He-Man, and they start blubbering about how they never want to grow up move away from Mummy. (I wonder why Meghan keeps tuning the radio to NPR -- this is like the third time that the kids have been traumatized by it. I imagine she will write another letter to their ombudsman, this time demanding that they keep black people off the air, for the sake of the children).
"And I — " Violet bursts out, as if we have been arguing, "I don't want to grow up either!" She explodes into extravagant tears, her words coming in a tumble: "When-you-grow-up-you-have-to-leave-your-mummy-and-go-away-and-then-you-can' t-be-with-your-mummy-and-you-want-to-go- home — "Violet pauses for breath and then sobs out, "But you can't!"
. . . A heavy and rather sticky person slides over the back of the girls' seat, partly crushing Violet's head and mine. It is Paris, and he's crying too.
"Ow — "
"I don't want to grow up either!" says he in a strangled voice.
"Paris, you're a little — "
" — But I want to cuddle you — "
"That's lovely, but — "
" — and I don't ever want to leave you and Daddy —"
Okay, I'm no child psychologist, but this seems, well, wrong. When I was growing up, there was never a time when three of us kids all started wailing about how we never wanted to leave our darling Mummy. Especially not when we were 8 or 9, like He-Man.
And I've never seen any children of my acquaintance do anything like what Meghan describes. The only thing that kinda similar was when a preschool boy told me that his Mommy was moving away. When the mother said of course she wasn't leaving, and asked wherever did the boy get an idea like that, his brother replied helpfully, "It's what you say all the time, Mommy. You say you can't stand it anymore, and you are moving away and never coming back." But nobody cried, although the mother did seem rather embarassed.
So, I'm not saying that Meghan's story isn't true (although it probably isn't), but if it is, isn't it the kind of thing she should be telling the children's therapist instead of the general public?
Anyway, Meghan stops the tears saying that they can buy all the houses in the neighborhood, and the kids can live with Mummy and Daddy forever. "Within a minute, happiness is restored." . . . Until He-Man goes to the NRO homepage and reads this link to his mother's column:
Meghan Cox Gurdon: I lie to my children.
11:08:02 PM 
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