Various Wingnuttery
1. First, here's a new wingnut named Gordon Bloyer -- today's column is about the Wizard of Oz:
John Kerry and John Edwards are trying to hide behind the curtain. It is time to click the heels on our ruby slippers and come back to the real America. It is time to stop pitting people against each other with this phoney class warfare. I don’t think people are going to be fooled in November. Kerry and Edwards will be left standing with their rear ends exposed, running from Barney Frank
As you can see, Gordon is a pundit to make the folks at Townhall watch their backs. Or their rears. Don't take my word for it -- here's Gordon's bio:
Gordon Bloyer has been called a Renaissance man by Ronn Owens of KGO radio in San Francisco. Rush Limbaugh read from a letter by Gordon on his national radio show. President Ronald Reagan invited Gordon to the White House to thank him for his support. When Gordon speaks people listen.
Well, if not people, at least Limbaughs.
2. And speaking of the folks from Townhall, here's that one-man-punditing-machine, Professor Mike Adams, Ph.D :
Dear PETA:
A buddy of mine named John has been trying to do a study on animal rights organizations. He wants to ask you a few questions but fears that you will try to cause him (or his family) physical harm if any of the questions should offend you.
Yes, it's another one of those columns where Dr. Mike pretends to write a letter to somebody, and also pretends that he has buddies. But let's read a few of the research questions that "John" is too chicken to ask PETA himself.
13) I heard one of your fellow animal rights activists claim that ''veggie dogs'' taste ''just like chicken.'' Is that really true? If so, how does he know?
14) If you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant, what do you do?
15) Would you be offended if I mowed my lawn?
16) Do PETA members eat animal crackers?
You know, I think I've heard some of these questions previously -- when they were asked by a guy named George Carlin. Should somebody should tell Mike that his good buddy "John" is a plagiarist?
3. Townhall is aghast because Mrs. Kerry told an obnoxious reporter to "shove it." They are gently reared souls over there, and so are unused to such language. Here's Kathleen Parker on the subject of PROPER First Ladies:
The two Mrs. Bushes earn consistently high ratings among both Democrats and Republicans. The senior Mrs. Bush is everybody's no-nonsense mom - strong, kind and humorous. As for Laura, what's not to like? An attractive, feminine librarian, she's an utterly uncontroversial Tollhouse wife and mother who enjoys reading to kids and publicly defers to her husband without seeming obsequious.
Well, the people I know say that Barbara "The Enforcer" Bush is everybody's Manchurian Candidate mom -- strong, ruthless, ambitious, evil. As for Laura, what's not to like? As in, she matters so little, who can bother to dislike her? She worked as a librarian for a couple of years a couple of decades ago, and has lived a life of quiet desperation ever since. I hope that after her husband is voted out of office she can get a job reading to kids or something, to support the family.
Anyway, Townhall's Neil Cavuto doesn't APPROVE of strong language like that used by Mrs. Kerry, but since he already applauded Dick Cheney for being "real" enough to tell a Senator to "go f--- himself, " so he can't be too outraged.
And Townhaller Robert "Beelzebub" Novak says that the Democrats were worried that Teresa would use her convention speech to tell a whole bunch of people to "shove it," but she didn't, and they were really disappoin ... happy, he means. The dems were PLEASED that she didn't screw up. But those unnamed Democrats are still concerned that her reputation for outspokeness and will keep people from voting for Kerry -- you know, unless she actually helps his chances. Oh, and she's a bitch. At least, that's what Democrats are telling Novak.
4. And here's Jeff Mazzella, addressing an issue already covered by Pete (the new Seb) over at Sadly, No!: the issue of unAmerican tray liners used by a Subway franchise in Germany. However, Jeff is a little more shrill about it (and apparently wants us to DO STUFF), so I think I like him less than I do Pete:
Simply put, SUBWAY’s advertising strategy is a new low in corporate behavior -- exploiting cultural tensions and inflaming anti-American sentiment abroad just to sell more sandwiches. It is appalling that SUBWAY, a U.S. company, would attack Americans and the Statue of Liberty in a time of war ... just to gain market share.
In response, the Center for Individual Freedom (www.cfif.org), together with Frontiers of Freedom (www.ff.org) and several other organizations, has launched its own campaign to demand that SUBWAY immediately end its anti-American marketing ploy.
To be effective, we desperately need your help!
An excerpt from today’s Houston Chronicle, which reported on this issue in a front page article, reads: "SUBWAY officials thought a tie-in with a movie featuring [Jared] Fogle and raising awareness about the nation's weight problem 'just seemed to make sense' for a company that has just launched a campaign to fight childhood obesity,” Kane said.
There you have it folks. No denial, no apology, no shame.
They don't even deny being against childhood obesity?! The anti-American bastards!
Please join us in demanding that SUBWAY immediately halt its anti-American propaganda scheme overseas. Call SUBWAY CEO Fred DeLuca today! Urge him to stop his cynical advertising campaign against the United States. The phone number for Mr. DeLuca at Subway's Executive Offices in Connecticut is 800-888-4848, ext. 1401.
I also want to encourage you to write letters to the editor of your local newspapers condemning SUBWAY for its anti-American marketing scheme. And to make this campaign successful, it’s critical that you help spread the word by forwarding this call to action to your friends and family.
Um, I'm kinda busy right now, and anyway, my friends and family don't really care about this kind of stuff. But maybe Pete will write some letters to the editor and make some outraged phone calls to Subway corporate headquaters. Yeah, let Pete do it -- maybe it will keep him from chasing Amber (and out of any other trouble) until Seb gets back.
Oh, and have a happy Saturday, everyone!
5:57:18 AM 
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