Saturday, October 23, 2004

College Hooligans Glue Wiener to Ann's Hand Reader Tex shares with us the Arizona Daily Wildcat story about Ann's near brush with pie. Sadly, both pies were killed in the incident.  The throwers were arrested.  Ann, who was protected by her Strategic Defensive Manhands, didn't get any whipped cream in her mouth, and so no purging was necessary.  At least, not by her -- after reading the report of what Ann spoke about, I have no such hopes for the audience. She spoke about the war in Iraq and said there is a distinct connection between Iraq and Osama bin Laden, despite what Democrats have said. "There is always evidence but maybe not enough to convince an O.J. (Simpson) jury," she said. Coulter mentioned the 1993 bombing of the World Trade Center and said the man responsible ended up Iraq. Ted Bundy was a serial killer.  Ted Bundy ended up in Florida.  Therefore, there is a distinct connection between Ted and Jeb Bush (despite what Republicans have said).  In fact, I'm pretty sure that Jeb was complicit in Ted's murders. She said Democrats argue that George W. Bush went to war for oil. "Has anyone been to a gas pump lately? I don't think the 'war for oil' has worked for us," Coulter said. While I don't think that we went to war for oil (nor do I think that more than a couple Democrats argue that we did), the fact that gas is really high-priced now mightjust  indicate that George screwed that up too.  Failure is not evidence of pure intentions.  Coulter arrived two and a half hours late due to airplane delays and incorporated her experience into the speech. She said she thinks airport security needs to make changes in who they search and not be afraid to racially profile. She said she was in a special line to be further searched for explosives and weapons. "I realized the only people that need to be searched were the people doing the searching," Coulter said. She said all of the people being searched were blonde women. Well, DUH, Ann.  The FAA was probably warned by the FBI that terrorists had read all those wingnut articles demanding racial profiling in airports, and so the terrorists were now disguising themselves as blonde women while on their missions to test airport security by going to the bathroom a lot.  Experts advise that you can spot these fake women by looking at their hands and throats. But once again, we see Ann's intense desire for a job in the glamorous world of airport security screening.  Sadly, her dreams must once again be crushed, because she's just not qualified -- if only she had completed that class at the community college like George Bush advised her to! She said in the midst of tiptoeing around race, security is not searching the individuals that are Muslim. "If ethnic appearances could be used, it could stop the next terrorist attack. It's not racial profiling, it's a description of the subject," Coulter said. Assuming that Ann is right (which is improbable on the face of it, because when has she ever been right about anything?) and the next terrorist attack is going to be committed by one or more Muslims, what would she have us do?  Strip-search and interrogate everybody who looks Muslim?  What does a Muslim look like?  Some of them are blonde -- so, will Ann support a plan that calls for strip-searching and interrogating all blondes?  You know, if it could prevent a terrorist attack?   Coulter briefly spoke about other issues like women in combat, gay marriage and abortion. She told the audience to vote for Bush because she said it won't matter if they agree or disagree with him, ultimately the American people can decide on important issues. "All that happens is that you people will get to vote on it," Coulter said. "While you probably disagree with Bush on many important issues, you have to vote for him anyway, because ultimately he couldn't care less what you think about important issues, and you're screwed in any case." The College Republicans invited the conservative speaker to balance out Michael Moore's visit. [...] UACR paid Coulter $20,000 for her visit and opened it to the public for free. For $20,000, the least Ann could do was take a pie like a man. 6:41:12 AM     comment [] trackback []   "The Indiana Jones of the Right"   Our friends at WorldNetDaily have a special offer for us: Suppose there was one of the most interesting individuals you've ever heard of, whom presidents and CEOs of international corporations pay thousands of dollars to learn what he knows about the world - and you could pick his brain for twenty-nine cents a day? Well, if I could use an ice pick . . . The Wall Street Journal called him "the originator of the Reagan Doctrine". The Washington Post called him "The Indiana Jones of the Right". Izvestiya, the organ of the Soviet Communist Party, called him an "ideological gangster". But you can call him Dr. Wingnut. He's Dr. Jack Wheeler, and for only about 29 cents a day, he'll give you mind-stretching pro-America insights on our lives, our politics, and our world that you just aren't going to get anywhere else. Well, you can get some of his mind-stretching insights at NewsMax (like the famous one where he scratches out the eyes of Peggy Noonan for saying mean things about her fellow Reagan speech writers); at the Moonie Times (for instance,  one in which he brags of having first outted  Hillary Clinton as a bisexual in 1993); and CounterPunch (in which he argues that Janet Reno is America's Saddam Hussein).  So, for no cents a day, you can probably get all the Dr. Wingnut insights you would ever want. In To The Point™, he'll tell you about the plans the Chinese Underground Church Movement has to send 100,000 Chinese Christian missionaries to the Middle East to convert Moslem Arabs to Christianity.   These are super secret plans that you won't hear about any where else, mostly because Dr. Jack thought of them himself. He'll explain why: It is envy that makes a Communist, Nazi, or Moslem Terrorist. It is the fear of being envied that makes a liberal. Liberalism is not a political philosophy or coherent set of beliefs. It is a psychological strategy to avoid being envied. All forms of leftism and liberalism are based on an atavistic belief in Black Magic. All are based on the primitive fear of the envious Evil Eye. He'll give you some magic charms you can secretly place in the clothing of your liberal friends and neighbors, which will free them of the curse of liberalism.  And then he'll explain that conservatism is the political theory which was released by Pandora when she opened the forbidden box, and so it is based on the primitive fear of sex. China is busy surrounding itself with countries capable of aiming nuclear missiles at it. It takes some doing to move those other countries around itself, but China does have the manpower to accomplish such a task. China is in very serious economic jeopardy, summarized by the Three No's: No water, no wives, no banks. The entire financial and banking system of China is facing collapse. If only it had some banks, it could probably get brides by appearing on "Who Wants to Marry China?" -- but alas, it's hard to look your best on reality TV without water. Russia is doomed as a culture due to its inheritance of Mongol concepts of justice and equality. Wow, it all seems so obvious after Dr. Jack points it out! The only Americans who owe reparations to the descendants of slaves are the descendants of slave owners. These people are one and the same, i.e., American blacks are a racial mix of white slave owner and black slave. Blacks owe reparations to themselves. Dr. Jack, I hate to upset such a neat construct, but I'm pretty sure that there are many descendants of slave owners who are not black, and many descendants of slaves whose families never profited from owning slaves themselves.  But don't let me put a damper on the flow of those mind-stretching, pro-America insights. The next insanity to come in the homosexual assault on the American Family will be PHM: Polygamous Homosexual Marriage. Pathologically promiscuous homosexuals will consider their "marriage" a legalism that will in no way prevent them from adultery en masse. To maintain the pretense of "marriage" however, they will have to quickly begin agitating for the legalization of group sodomization as "just another form of the married life-style". And after that, comes the push for the legalization of sodomization of groups consisting of a football team, their fathers, a rock, a tree, a box turtle, a puppy, and Rick Santorum. Oh - did we mention that Jack Wheeler once defeated Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin in arm wrestling - and Putin's KGB bodyguard? Um, no you didn't.  Is that where he learned about the plan for the legalization of group sodomization? Jack Wheeler is quite possibly the most fascinating individual you have ever known. His biography is like out of a movie -- and as matter of fact, Sylvester Stallone once made an offer to buy the movie rights to Jack Wheeler's life story. Sly wanted to use it as the basis for the sequel to Stop or My Mom Will Shoot. So, what do people say about Jack Wheeler? Jack Wheeler is just about the most interesting man I know. [...] I value his counsel and friendship." - U.S. Congressman Dana Rohrabacher (R-CA) And what do people say about Dana Rohrabacher?  "Even for a Republican from CA, he's much crazier than seems humanly possible. "    Here is what author Richard Poe has to say about this amazing man: "An Explorer, Soldier and Scholar, Wheeler seems like an apparition out of the 19th century. He served in six conflicts against communist guerrillas, sky-dived at the North Pole, discovered three unknown tribes and holds a doctorate in philosophy." And what do people say about Richard Poe?  That he wrote Hillary's Secret War, the book which claims that Hillary Clinton's insidious "Shadow Team" killed Vince Foster, murdered Brit Hume's son, and tried to frame Rush Limbaugh on drug charges.  That's all they NEED to say.  A Real Life Indiana Jones ... While Jack has often been called a "real life Indiana Jones" and is part of the mix of historical figures Stephen Spielberg used (along with his own imagination) to create his fictional hero (the others: Howard Carter, the archaeologist who discovered King Tut's tomb, and Roy Chapman Andrews, the discoverer of dinosaur eggs in the Gobi Desert) -- "Jones" is cartoon fiction and Wheeler is real.        The Real Indy                  The Mere Cartoon Here are some bio highlights: At 14, he climbed the Matterhorn in Switzerland. At 16, he swam the Hellespont (the straits separating Europe from Asia) recreating the legend of Leander in Greek mythology. At 16, he was adopted into a clan of Shuara Jivaro headhunters in the Amazon. At 17, he hunted and killed a man-eating tiger responsible for the deaths of over 20 Montagnard tribespeople in the highlands of South Viet Nam. At 19, he started his first company, Saigon Cinnamon International, exporting cinnamon from Vietnam. At age 20, he started his second business, a sucessful white slavery ring. At age 21, he used the teaching of his Shuara Jivaro brothers to shrink the heads of his business rivals. At age 22, he discovered Nazi gold on the moon. At age 52, he started To The Point™ in an effort to get twenty-nine cents a day from a bunch of suckers. Want to know why America's culture is not -- not -- going down the drain, why our cultural values are going to start getting BETTER and not WORSE? You must read this excerpt from "The Curse of the Xers" ... "Over the coming years, young Millennials (or Generation Y as some insist on calling them) will be pouring out of their teens and into their twenties to seize control of popular culture away from Xers. Say goodbye and good riddance to crotch-grabbing it's-cool-to-be-a-smartass sleaze. Say hello to music you can actually listen to (i.e., that's actually music), TV shows you can let your kids watch, and baseball caps worn normally. Wow, I can hardly wait for those nice young Generation Yers to seize control of the popular culture, and force kids wear their baseball caps normally. Thanks, Dr. Jack Wingnut, for giving me hope for our future! Trust me on this. American culture has not disintegrated, we're not going to keep heading down into a bottomless cultural barrel. We're in the bottom of a generational cycle that our country has gone through before and will again. Our nightmare of degeneracy will soon be coming to an end. And then we'll have an era of public morality, conformity, and hypocrisy for a while, and then it will be back to degeneration.  That's how these cycles work. Just remind yourself, though, before the next spectacle of Xer cynical ridicule drives you apoplectic, of all the Xers risking their lives right now in Iraq and Afghanistan so that we have the luxury and freedom to get mad at what's wrong with our culture. Some day years from now, one of them may need to become another Patton or Eisenhower, and we'll be quite thankful Xers are who they are." I don't get mad at what's wrong with our culture so much as I get irritated by Xers like Ben Shapiro who write about how great it is for other people to risk their lives in Iraq and Afghanistan to preserve our freedom of speech (without ever explaining the connection between the two), and yet never serve themselves.  And I can tell you, if we ever need another Patton or Eisenhower and we're forced to make do with a Ben Shapiro, we're screwed.  To The Point intends to be both the world's most accurate and insightful geopolitical intelligence service, and a pro-America, pro-Capitalist, pro-Western Civilization intellectual ammunition service for defenders of liberty. Yes, To the Point is intended to be a service to old, crabby guys who gripe about cynical Gen Xers while defending liberty from their recliners.  You know, people like my Dad. And Remember ... As a Member of To The Point™, you have full access to our Members Only web site - and you can join fellow Members in meetings with Congressmen in Washington, international investment seminars, TTP Conferences, and TTP Politically Incorrect Cruises. You'll never have to travel with a liberal again! I'll never have to travel with a liberal again?  Why, that's like a beautiful dream come true, and by itself is worth twnety-nine cents.  Thanks again, Dr. Jack, for helping to make this country a more polarized place. We're looking forward to your joining our To The Point Family - welcome aboard! Sorry, Dr. Wingnut, I already have my own pointy-headed family.  But thanks anyway.  2:16:13 AM     comment [] trackback []

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