Ann Gets the Cover of Time, Debbie Gets the Centerfold in Hell's Harpies
Reader Sean G. alerted us to the fact that "Debbie Schlussel is a on a tear lately." So we checked it out, and indeed she is. We assume that she is reacting to all the attention her arch-rival Ann Coulter has received in the past couple of weeks, and acting out in a bid to make people look at her.
Thus, in accordance with the fairness doctrine (which holds that you must give equal time to all shrill, hateful, annoying bleached-blonde harridans), we devote this post to Debbie Schlussel.
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"Attorney, Columnist, and Hip, Conservative Info-Babe Commentator, Debbie Schlussel" |
Sean was particularly taken with Debbie's column “American Idol”: Who’s Your (Baby)Daddy?. It's about Fantasia Barrino, who's apparently an "American Idol" contestant who was going to sing a song about being a "Baby Mama" on the program, but didn't.
Debbie rails on the young woman because, per Debbie, the song glorifies unwed motherhood, which is an irresponsible thing to do because girls who grow up without fathers turn out to be sluts, just like their mothers.
Here's Debbie, citing a study of 242 girls, some lacking fathers in their homes:
Fatherless girls [...] were not only primed for early sexual exploration and reproduction, but they showed an inability to have long-term relationships, preferring multiple, brief sexual relationships.
Attention, Fantasia: That’s a nice way of saying your daughter has a good chance of becoming a slut. And you have a good chance of becoming a “Baby Grand Mama”–real soon.
I'm sure Fantasia appreciated Debbie's tough love, as did Fantasia's little girl, the slut-to-be.
But Debbie has even more words of encouragement for Fantasia:
Fantasia’s nerve goes far. “I think it should be a holiday for single mothers” she sings. A holiday? Perhaps we should have a Lacto-Ovo Differently Digestive Day (for fat vegetarians), too. But somehow, neither of these seems in need of establishment—on the calendar, on an amateurish televised singing contest, or anywhere else. Except, maybe, on the Oxygen Channel, where no-one, save a lesbian “Baby Mama,” is watching.
Yeah, remember the good old days when tramps who gave birth to bastards were properly ashamed of themselves and their children, and knew that they weren't fit to mingle with decent people? Man, today these brazen hussies are almost as disgusting as vegetarians and lesbians!
Or something.
But the bottom line is: "American Idol" and the Oxygen Channel are depraved and/or boring because they keep ignoring Debbie.
Debbie's most recent column, "'The Interpreter': Sean Penn’s U.N. Mash Note," is about how the traitor Sean Penn showed his contempt for this country by appearing in a movie that featured bad guys who weren't Arabs, and which showed the U.N. in a generally favorable light.
The last time I wrote about Jeff Spicoli a/k/a Sean Penn, he sent me an e-mail calling me the c-word.
"Cretin"?
Anyway, Debbie claims that Penn, who "transformed himself into failed emissary to Iraq—a Baghdad Spicoli a la Hanoi Jane" has now "gotten smarter" and has "turned to the silver screen" to spread his propaganda. You know, by starring in a political thriller which tries to avoid politics.
As for promoting the U.N., Leni Reifenstahl (Hitler’s propagandist) couldn’t have done better—even if it’s hard to believe Spicoli as Secret Service Agent. (When he tries to fake crying, all you can hear is his yearning for “tasty waves and a cool buzz.”)
Debbie is a notable movie critic (remember her review of Ice Princess?), so Penn was undoubtedly devastated to read her critique of his performance (because when you've been dissed by Debbie Schlussel, your career in Hollywood is pretty much over).
Pollack longs to be like great director Alfred Hitchcock, who also did a U.N. movie, 1959’s “North by Northwest.” [...] But Sidney Pollack, you’re no Alfred Hitchcock.
Yeah, and Debbie, you're no Ann Coulter.
But Debbie did give Ann a run for her money with her column "Treasonatrix Barbie: Meet the Real Marla Ruzicka," which ran at FrontPageMag and a couple of other spots. This piece is probably her piece de resistance of spite, dishonesty, and nastiness. Here's a snippet, just to give you the flavor (bitter and full of bile):
When The New York Times, “Nightline,” and CNN nominate a young blonde for sainthood ahead of the Pope, it’s time for a reality check. Especially when that blonde, Marla Ruzicka’s sole purpose is to legitimize our enemies, cause problems for troops already in harm's way, and morally equate dead terrorists with victims of 9/11.
[...]
That should tell you something about the media’s outlook on whose life is more worthy and whose death is more important: American soldiers fighting for freedom—bad; vociferous activist bimbette hampering those American soldiers and helping their terrorist killers—very, very good.
While it’s a sad day when any American gets killed by Islamic terrorists, it’s measurably less sad when that American aided and abetted them—and belittled our troops.
For Marla Ruzicka, some might call it, poetic justice.
The column deserves a thorough flensing, which, happily, Justin Raimondo has given it. He covers not only Debbie's lies about Ms. Ruzicka's work, but also the envy that seems to have motivated (in large part) her column.
He concludes:
It's time to draw the line against this increasingly assertive evil – by making an example out of Schlussel. Her piece goes way over the line, and those who posted it and approved it have to take a share of the responsibility. [...] Write to David Horowitz and demand an apology. That fat old gasbag, always so full of self-righteousness, ought to get down on his knees and beg forgiveness from Marla's staunchly Republican parents, who are prostrate with grief.
Enough is enough. We're long overdue for a little spring cleaning: let's freshen the air and take this bitch down.
Joshua Frank also discusses Debbie's column, writing that "Debbie Schlussel, a right wing columnist and radio talk show host, out-Coulters Ann Coulter and out-Phelpses Fred Phelps." High praise indeed.
And Bill Berkowitz at Working For Change adds, "In Schlussel's 'Meet the Real Marla Ruzicka,' the unrestrained and overheated rhetoric of Ann Coulter merges with the unmitigated vileness of the Rev. Fred Phelps, and that is Debbie Schlussel's mishegos."
So, it seems that Debbie has accomplished her goal of gaining noteriety and influencing public opinion, in that everybody seems to despise her.
And to think that we knew her when she was just "the real-life, female 'Jerry Maguire,'" "a long-time member of MENSA," and the subject of an online fanclub second in popularity only to Ann Coulter's in the "blonde, obnoxious political personality" category! I hope she doesn't think she's too good for us now.
5:54:21 AM 
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