The Spam Files
Once again, I am beat. So, I'm going to take the path more traveled, and make fun of some of the email I've received this week.
1. First, here's a message from a group called Progress for America (which either got my address from NewsMax or the Republican Party). It's entitled "Democrats Immediately Attacked George Washington."
What if???
"Anchorman: The President nominated George Washington for the Supreme Court to fill the vacancy left by Sandra Day O'Connor. Democrats immediately attacked Washington for his environmental record of chopping down cherry trees."
Yes, what if George W. Bush nominated George Washington to fill O'Connor's vacancy? Would the Democrats then attack Washington for his environmental record, or would they get together with the Republicans to start impeachment procedings, on the grounds that nominating dead people indicated that Bush had flipped his lid?
Only time will tell.
Some Democrats will attack any Supreme Court nominee,
Even Jesus. That's just how evil some of them are.
but past attacks have been called a "smear" and "dishonest." When there is a real nominee they deserve real consideration, instead of instant attacks.
So, George Washington is a "real" nominee who deserves "real consideration?" Um, okay. I'm just going to walk slowly away now.
2. Remember yesterday when I told you about sending (in changed format) a form letter to Allstate that was composed by the American Family Foundation? Well, I now see the error of my ways, since I'm on the AFA mailing list.
You are receiving this mailing because you took action on an AFA-sponsored poll, petition, or action alert.
This mailing, which is called "Nike Endorses Homosexual Civil Unions, Next Step Marriage," urges me to send another one of those form emails, this time to the president of Nike. Here is the supplied text:
I am disappointed to hear that Nike has thrown its support behind homosexual civil unions. I will pass this information on to others, and I will find another brand of shoe to purchase.
I hope you will reconsider your support for civil unions (and, indirectly, homosexual marriage), although I doubt very seriously if you will.
Sincerely,
So, I'm to tell Bill Perez that I don't like homosexual civil unions (because they inevitably lead to homosexual marriages, which lead to earthquakes, volcanos, the dead rising from the grave, human sacrifice, and dogs and cats, living together). Thus, I'm not buying his shoes anymore until he changes his mind, but I doubt that he will change it, so I'm just going to buy Keds forever, in order to spite Mr. Perez for supporting a bill in Oregon.
I can see how that would convince him to reconsider his views.
3. Remember back in May when we took the "Dating IQ Test" offered by David D. of "Double Your Dating" fame? (Sure, you remember -- it turned out that my dating skills were average because I was intimidated by women who were exceptionally attractive. I believe that you had the same problem. We were both advised to buy David's e-book so we could learn how put women in their place so they would be attracted to us.)
Anyway, I used a real address to take the quiz, and every since, I've been getting newsletters from David about three times a week, each issue chock full of tips on how to do better at dating.
Here's part of the most recent edition:
The "Rules" For Attracting Beautiful Women
***QUESTION***
Hi David, Thanks-Your book and CD series have helped to change my life over the last year. I'm Jewish and really wanted to date Jewish women. They were scarce near me in the US. You say to go live where the kind of women you want to date are, so I recently came to Israel.
Well, I guess that would be a logical place to look for Jewish women.
The Israeli women are incredibly sexy and exotic.
I contacted some women before I got there via e-mail and slept with 2 of them on first dates, and made out with another seriously on the 2nd date...and more now...In fact, I have more #'s than I can keep track of between the net and now from meeting women from performing music in small clubs. COCKY and FUNNY works folks!!!
So, take it from this guy: be cocky and funny, and YOU TOO can find success with Israeli hookers!
I used a lot of your "lines" and techniques by the book or w/alterations: "look if you scare me in person, I'll be like oh, I've got to go...comb my camel"
What woman, Jewish or not, wouldn't fall for a line like that? I know that if somebody said it to me, I would sleep with him the second we met.
No, wait, what I would actually do is tell him, "Hey, you're scaring me now, so let's just forget about meeting in person. Anyway, I wouldn't want to come between you and your camel."
Since my Hebrew is much worse than these girls' English, I generally use English, and get to tease them about funny things that they say or their accent...I also told a woman I met who was into exploring S&M that I would be willing to keep spanking her and tying her up IF she was willing to tutor me in Hebrew...
He's a prince, all right.
I made a semi-mistake of getting into a program in a small, retirement town for a half year, (Ooops!) but have created an alternative existence by
traveling into the bigger cities, using my own room at a Youth Hostel to "host" a woman in her own town, and staying with a woman once we are
sleeping together, sometimes leaving her place to go on a date w/ another woman...("Who am I meeting, hon? Actually, I'm going to a brothel now!")
So, this guy works at a retirement home, but still manages to get some action by traveling to the bigger cities and bringing the woman he's been emailing to his room at the Youth Hostel. Classy, that. And then, after they've slept together, he moves in to her place (because that's even cheaper than staying at the Youth Hostel), but to show how cool he is, he sometimes leaves her to go out with other women. Yes, thanks to David D's program, he's become the sleaziest guy in Israel!
So, it sounds like he has it made. Why is he writing to David?
???In your CD series you mention a face that you can make that drives women wild that you went around practicing making and a woman started kissing you...I think you mentioned James Dean, not sure...anyways, I want to see that
face...Could you point me to a picture???
Thanks!
Rocking in the Holy Land!!!
A face that makes women kiss you. I should have known.
Anyway, here's David's reply:
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well, it's nice to hear that the materials are crossing all cultural and international boundaries...
"I've got to go comb my camel..."
You gotta love telling a woman that if you meet her and she's scary that you're going to leave to COMB YOUR CAMEL.
And she's gotta love hearing it. Seriously, she's GOT TO. Or else the whole program is shown to be worthless!
And to answer your question that you asked about the "face" that women respond to...
Check out the look that Marlon Brando has on his face on the cover of "Streetcar Named Desire". That should give you a good idea of what I'm talking about.
Guys, practice making this face until you look exactly like Brando (it's the one cocked eybrow that really drives the girls wild):
And then keep looking in the mirror, and say, "You talkin' to me? Well, I'm the only one here. Who do the fuck do you think you're talking to?" And then take your gun out and shoot your reflection (because other than a brutish rapists, there's nothing the chicks like better than a psycho who spends his days in front of the mirror).
Stay in touch, and keep sharing the adventuresof the International Jewish Ladies Man.
Yeah, please do. Because I don't think you've repelled enough people yet.
Okay, time for one more letter from David's newsletter:
***SUCCESS STORY***
David... Like magic...the use of your advice worked!
Not just one bit of advice like a magic bullet though ...it is the combination of all your strategies, techniques and process understanding. It is important to get your book, read your email updates, and the CDs to put it all together and really "get it".
I can't help but noticing that all of David's satisfied customers use lots of ellipses ... just like David! Think it's a coincidence?
Anyway, per this next guy, he's now such a babe magnet that the woman throw theirselves at him.
Okay let me give you and example of what I am talking about.
Just walked into a fast food restaurant and noticed a tall, striking blonde (at least a 9.5)
Wow, she WAS tall!
who bent over backwards to make sure my order was perfect.. ..even took my cash up to the register for me. Well after all that extra attention I thought it must be time to say something, especially after all the "Dave Work" I have been doing.
Yes, if a woman working at a fast food restaurant gets your order right, then she must be hot for you.
I wanted to say..."You must be an actress or a model" because she is so beautiful, but only a Wuss would say something like that. ASM from my
sub-conscience kicked in and I laid back and then casually said "...this is a fast-paced environment, do you like it?" Dave, she began telling me some of the most interesting things.
I can only imagine.
To my surprise, I had to cut her off and then I just merely said..... "Do you have email?"
He had to cut off her flow of interesting stories about the fast-paced Burger King environment? Wow, I can see why he surprised himself.
She said wait a minute I'll give you one of my cards. She left the very busy floor went to the employee break room (I guess) or her car and returned with a business card that she wrote her email address on the back. She then walked me partially to the door, shook my hand and wished me good luck.
Meaning, "Good luck trying to reach me at uraloser@biteme.com.
Dave...if I wouldn't have read your stuff and listed to the CDs (five times) I would have stayed there, ordered another coke, seemed needy by just hanging out and like I didn't have a life. Her Wuss detector would have wrote me off immediately. Meeting a beautiful woman was the last thing on my mind but the aura I must have now and the abilities I now have are thanks to you.
Before he would have seemed needy, but now he seems like a self-confident, studly man who has the email address of Hardees fry cook.
Gee...if I ever get time to actually go out and look for women, like at a night club or sporting event, I can't imagine what will happen. I even got two women on email that are going to fly cross country at their expense to meet me and stay for the weekend. One just got a boob job and wants me to be the first to see and touch her new additions...and the other is going to work overtime for three weeks just to pay for the tickets! There is not much more of a powerful testimonial to show how effective your advice actually works for meeting women over the internet.
Of course, this guy is actually corresponding with the two other guys who have taken David's course. But I hope things work out between them.
And here's David's reply:
***MY COMMENTS***
The internet is SUCH a great place to apply what you're learning and PRACTICE as well.When you respond to a woman's personal ad with a great Cocky & Funny note, it's like a breath of fresh air.
Well, it's like a breath of something ...
Or when you IM a woman and say "It says here that you're an actress. What, you couldn't get a real job?"...
It sets you apart INSTANTLY from all the loserguys who are saying "Hi, you're really pretty. Can I take you out on a date?"
Yes, you are set apart as "the jerky, obnoxious one."
Anyway, there's LOTS more advice from David we can explore, so let me know if you are finding his advice helpful in achieving your goal of being more slimy. But for now, I'll let him sign off:
I'll talk to you again soon!
Your Friend,
David D.
3:56:44 AM 
|
