Ultimate Wingnut Challenge: We Say a Sad Farewell a Debbie
Okay, it was Debbie Daniel -- you already guessed. But we didn't let ourselves be swayed by the conventional wisdom, with its trendy clothes and its GOP talking points and all -- no, we counted each and every vote (Debbie D.got 37). So, now it's official, and you won't have Debbie to kick around anymore -- at least, not until she becomes a White House speechwriter next year.
As Debbie walks down the Gangplank of Shame and Failure (and gets into the Slave Galley of Phoning it In, to take the long boat ride of Just Couldn't Cut It), David E. will sing our new, official theme song. (Taken from an idea by Chris V.).
Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale
A tale of a fateful trip
That started from Bill Clinton's pants
Aboard this wingnut ship.
The mate was a Doughy Pantload man
The skipper was a boor
A clatch of nuts set sail that day
For an eight year long tour, an eight year long tour
The GWOT started getting rough
The tiny ship was tossed
If not for courage of the 101st
The Crackpot would be lost; the Crackpot would be lost.
The ship took ground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle.
With George F. Will, O'Reilly too,
Ann Coulter and his Wife,
The Virgin Ben, The Pastor and Kaye Grogan
Here on Wingnut Isle!
Thanks, David. That was great!
Now, normally we would play some of Debbie's clips for you, but we don't want to, because our head already hurts. So, fortunately for you, Brad has compiled the Best of Debbie, and is offering it to you at reasonable prices. You can order it in a series of 12 books on tape, or read it here: Sadly, No!: In Tribute to Debbie Daniel.
Oh, and here's how the rest of the voting went (and how it reflects the new pecking order of Team Low-Rent, in Gilligan's Island terms):
Pastor Swank, Skipper (2)
Kaye Grogan, Ginger (4)
Debbie Schlussel, Russian Gilligan doppleganger (6)
And in honor of Pastor Swank's victory, here are the highlights from two of his many columns from yesterday. While the first uses one of Debbie S's wingnutty claims (the one about how you have to kill a few innocent brown-skinned folks if you want to make am anti-terrorism omelet), I think you'll like what the Pastor did with it.
So, please enjoy these selections from LIBERALS DEMAND PERFECTION FROM CONSERVATIVES.
When Muslims blow up people and buildings and cars and entire neighborhoods, is it not reasonable to assume that responses will not always be in perfect focus? Is it not logical to grant certain mistakes in trying to quell the continual hellish bombast of the Islamic crazies?
Therefore, when the peace-loving citizens attempt to recapture their culture for sanity, logical persons must expect that in that attempt not everything will go perfectly. There will be mishaps. There will misjudgments. There will be some innocent persons threatened.
Threatened. Shot. Killed. Whatever.
In any case, logical people know that there are plenty more Brazilians in Brazil, so it's not like it's a big deal when we kill a few of them. After all, nobody's perfect, and we have to allow the police to kill a certain number of innocents if we want them to kill anybody. And since we live in a "spiritually damaged sphere," it would be foolish to expect not to get shot by the authorities from time to time.
Only for the redeemed will perfection come upon their eternities in the New Jerusalem. For the damned, they will experience the ultimate mayhem and misfortunate.
Until then, we grope.
Um ... okay.
Maybe we should just move on to the next column, WHERE IS THE UN IN THIS FIGHT AGAINST INSANE ISLAM? In it, Pastor Swank rails at the U.N. for not taking effective action against Muslims, and comes up with his own proposal (a variation on the "Intern them all, because they are all potential murderers" one).
US President George W. Bush and British Prime Minister Tony Blair can go to the telecasts for statements of national resolve until they talk themselves dry, but that won’t solve the crazy plots.
Yes, Rove is going to keep outing CIA employees no matter what anybody says.
That won’t undo the nuthouse Islamics.
I think "Islamics" are like "calisthenics."
Many of these killers are boys and girls who are put up to the gun and bomb hanging by adults who delight in seeing violence spread blood. If they are not children, they are teens not yet grown adults. Teens are full-fledged warriors now in the Muslim world take-over. They are more than willing to run, scout about, dodge bullets, and then tie suicide ropes to their chests in order to entrance sex orgies eternal.
Do you think that's what VBen is saving himself for?
With this going on daily, the UN remains silent.
Yes, the member nations really should address the PornGeneration problems.
Of course we have come to conclude that Muslim despots will do and say nothing to quell their own killing "brethren." That’s a given. It won’t change for the despots are lunatics themselves, governed by Allah the Devil.
But the UN is made up of other than Muslims. Yet the others are not saying anything, doing anything, when all the while they should be standing to their feet, demanding initiatives, sending out militia to slay every enemy and deporting all Muslims from freedom-based countries back to their murder dungeons.
Deportation.
Yup, the non-Muslim U.N. delegates should send out the U.N. militia with orders to slay every enemy of the U.S. They should also use their power as delegates to deport all the Muslims to Muslamia. (Geez, what are we paying those people for if they won't take basic steps like these?)
If every freedom-based nation got rid of the Muslims now inhabiting them, the world would start to become safe again. Every Muslim, including the doctors and professors and pharmacists and so forth. Not one of them can be trusted.
Hey, I wonder if Pastor Swank thinks that Muslim pharmacists are making his Cialis not work, and that's why he wants to deport them?
The United States must take the lead. Mr. Bush should go to Congress, presenting the reality, with government working now to rid the country of Muslim murder potentials as well as sleeper cells housing killers set to blow up America.
Yes, Mr. Bush really should do that. He should abandon that Social Security privitization plan which never caught on, and instead do something that everyone will back him on: exporting all the Muslims! (Another thought: Do you suppose that's why Bush pushed so hard to get John Bolton to the U.N. -- so that Bolton could spearhead the "Invade their countries with U.N. troops and deport their asses back to MurderDungeonville" initiative?
Anyway, I think that the Low-Rent team is in fine hands with Pastor Swank at the helm. Next week, we'll meet our last remaining team, the Blog Stars, and then it will be time for a little mayhem ...
6:04:38 AM 
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