The World O'Crap News Report
Scouring obscure and unimportant news sources for slightly amusing stories ... so you don't have to!
1. First from the "No Duh" File, here's today's lead WorldNetDaily story:
Ann Coulter gets dumped!
Newspaper publisher says readers find her bombastic, mean-spirited
And "shrill." Don't forget shrill.
Interestingly enough, per the article, those were the conservative readers of the Arizona Daily Star -- proof that there are some issues (and bombastic, mean-spirited harridans) that can bring us together.
2. Next, from the same file, WND refers us to this A.P. story: "Chinese Researcher Warns of Nude Web Chats."
A Chinese researcher has warned of a new threat to public health and morality _ naked Internet chatting. Up to 20,000 Chinese Internet users log on to chatrooms each night in which users in various states of undress talk to each other with the help of Web cams, the Shanghai Daily newspaper said Tuesday, citing China Youth Association researcher Liu Gang.
"At first, we thought if was merely a game for a few mentally abnormal people," the paper quoted Liu as saying. "But as our research continued, we found the problem was much larger than expected," Liu said.
People using the Internet for naughty purposes? Who'da thunk it?
But the story does give us an idea: how about sending VBen Shapiro to China? He's a noted expert on porn, and could help the Chinese authorities in their quest to keep their people pure. Sure, it would mean abandoning his promising career as a really obtuse law student, but it's a sacrifice I'll willingly make.
3. Along those same lines, Agape Press brings us a scoop: the President of Patrick Henry College says "'Elite' Colleges Not Always Best for Young Christians."
Michael Farris is a constitutional attorney; founder, chairman, and general counsel of the Home School Legal Defense Association; and president of Patrick Henry College in Virginia. As the father of ten home-schooled children, Farris has a personal interest in ensuring that his children's education furthers the principles and values instilled in them at home.
[...]
Farris contends that professors at many secular elite colleges twist the truth, the Constitution, and history to support their own agendas and beliefs.
Unlike professors at Patrick Henry, which twist the truth, the Constitution, and history to support the institution's own agenda and beliefs -- but it's okay when they do it, because it's in the cause of Dominionism.
Here's a little about the school from a New Yorker piece that we looked at back in March 2004:
Patrick Henry College in Purcellville, Va., does more than train home-schooled students. College administrators say that it also provides evangelical Christian home-schooling parents with a campus culture uniquely suited to their values — where the core curriculum includes a semester of "biblical reasoning" and students are expected to graduate with their chastity intact.
[...]
Every student takes a course called "Foundations of Liberty," which teaches that democracy rests on biblical principles, traditional sex roles, limited government and private property rights.
So, yeah, you can see why he'd be recommending that you forego sending your children to an "elite" university, and instead choose to pack them off to a "second-rate, wingnutty" school. Because at least at Patrick Henry, they won't be exposed to s-e-x.
Here's more from the Agape piece on Mr. Farris:
"Perhaps the best way to get a picture of how pervasive the problem is, is to look at the man who is elected to be the secretary general of the American Association of University Professors," the attorney says. "He was chosen to that position because of his defense of a vile sexual conference at a university in New York where he was the head of the university at the time." According to Farris, the names of the sessions at that conference are not suitable for print.
Wow, the names aren't suitable for print. Odd, then, that Farris would include them in his book. (Yes, the reason for this AgapePress piece is that Farris has a relatively new book out -- I swear, any loon in America can get a book published these days. Except for me, of course.)
Anyway, by consulting the excerpt of The Joshua Generation: Restoring the Heritage of Christian America, we learn the unprintable names of those filthy sessions.
Bowen gave a thumbs-up to the school's 1997 sponsorship of the conference "Revolting Behavior," which featured workshops such as "Sex Toys for Women" and "Safe, Sane, and Consensual S&M: An Alternate Way of Loving."
Sadly, I can not recommend Mr. Farris's book because it includes such unprintable material. I also feel that you shouldn't send your VBens to his college -- they might get corrupted.
4. Lastly, here's an opinion piece from Jane Jimez, who writes for Agape Press. Her column is about emergency contraception, which she feels isn't necessary at all, since unmarried women shouldn't be having sex, and married women apparently already have ways of dealing with contraception failures (I guess they're called "unplanned pregnancies")
We're all familiar with emergencies. The water pipe that breaks and floods the house ... the car brakes that fail, sending you sailing through the intersection right under a red light ... the flames erupting from the skillet on the stove, burning oil popping onto wood cabinets and kitchen curtains ... the Category four hurricane bearing down on your coastal home ... the tight chest pains making you collapse onto the snow bank you've been shoveling ... all of them dangerous situations requiring immediate remedial action.
It used to be called emergency contraception for a good reason. It implied that thoughtful, careful people were going about their lives, following prudent actions, taking care to avoid emergencies ... when all of a sudden, an emergency happened ... totally out of the blue ... unexpected ... unanticipated ... and outside of our control.
You know, like the condom breaking.
Oh, and IMHO, thoughtful, careful people following prudent actions don't let pans of oil get hot enough to burst into flames and burn down their kitchens.
Emergency contraception? Where is the emergency?
Well, the sperm could meet the egg, resulting in an unwanted pregnancy unless prompt action is taken. Many people would consider than an emergency.
Like professional hucksters, proponents for over-the-counter access to emergency contraception point to the married woman whose birth control failed. They point to rape victims. Yet for these emergencies, we can create effective access to emergency contraception. It doesn't require putting this pill in easy reach of teen girls.
Truth is, if you think you might be planning to have an emergency, there's a better way. Plan to not have an emergency. Plan sex for the right time and with the right person. The Centers for Disease Control says the healthiest time for sex should be in a lifelong, monogamous, faithful relationship. Mom and Dad call it marriage.
Yes, never have sex outside marriage, and you'll never need emergency contraception. And if you are married and need it, well, we'll worry about that later. And if you were raped, then we can create a way for you to get the morning after pill -- just don't try to get your prescription filled from one of those pharmacists whose consciences outweigh your medical needs.
And if you do have premarital sex and for whatever reason, you weren't protected, then you deserve to get pregnant, you slut! Sure, giving you a pill now might prevent you from seeking an abortion later, but if we make it too easy for you to avoid the consequences of sin (pregnancy), then you'll probably keep having sex, and that's just not right!
Oh, and while you're doing all that emergency planning, plan not to have a heart attack while shoveling snow: eat healthily, exercise, take cholesterol-lowering drugs, etc. And if you do have a heart attack anyway, you don't deserve any medical help, because you probably could have prevented your condition if you had been more moral.
2:27:37 AM 
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