The Latest Wingnut Power Couple
That would be our good friend Pastor Swank and Michael "Fred Phelps Wannabe" Marcavage. (You remember Michael Marcavage -- he's the young man who sued Temple University, claiming that they tried to have him committed to a mental institution just because he's a Christian. He's also the guy whose Repent America "ministry" involves harassing homosexuals by yelling at them through a bullhorn, and scaring little kids with giant photos of aborted fetuses. Oh, and he mortgaged his house to help out a fellow anti-homosexual zealot who was convicted of soliciting sex from a 13-year-old boy. See, you do remember him.)
Anyway, Marcavage recently issued a press statement which basically says that God killed thousands of people in New Orleans just to prevent a homosexual celebration.
Here's Michael:
Just days before "Southern Decadence", an annual homosexual celebration attracting tens of thousands of people to the French Quarters section of New Orleans, Hurricane Katrina destroys the city.
[...]
"Although the loss of lives is deeply saddening, this act of God destroyed a wicked city," stated Repent America director Michael Marcavage. "From 'Girls Gone Wild' to 'Southern Decadence,' New Orleans was a city that had its doors wide open to the public celebration of sin. From the devastation may a city full of righteousness emerge," he continued.
And may it be a city without any gays or breasts.
So, Michael sent one of his releases to WorldNetDaily. (And, as Sadly, Brad! notes, it was only a matter of time before WND blamed gays for the hurricane. In fact, if Michael Marcavage didn't exist, WND and The American Family Association would have to invent him -- and there's some evidence that they kinda did.) And it's at WND that Pastor Swank apparently met young Michael.
Here's the Swankster:
NEW ORLEANS’ SIN BROUGHT DEVASTATION: ‘REPENT AMERICA’
"Southern Decadence" was set for New Orleans soon. It was to be a yearly hoopla celebrating practicing homosexuality as a legitimate, giddy lifestyle.
Thousands upon thousands were going to crawl all over New Orleans "to celebrate their sexuality," according to Methodist lay preacher Gary Hopkins of Ekklesia.co.uk (gary.hopkins@ekklesia.co.uk).
In other words, Sodom and Gomorrah were to be reenacted in broad daylight — and into the night haunts as well.
Wow, visiting angels were going to be gang-raped, and virgin daughters offered to the mob instead? That's a pretty sick celebration.
Police would be forced to look the other way or fill the jails to overflowing. Decent citizens would cover their eyes to play hide-and-seek against the all-inclusive wickedness.
"99, 100. Ready or not, wickedness, here I come!"
Little children would be taken on hopefully safe excursions in order to escape the blatant evil parading their avenues. Businesses would money-shoot off the charts from homosexuals’ open wallets in festive abandon.
That does sound pretty awful -- especially the part about all the money-shooting.
Then came along Katrina.
Now New Orleans is under water, bathing in sewage and devastation rather than providing downtown fountains for homosexual capers aplenty.
I think "Homosexual capers aplenty" sound almost as yummy as "homo nups."
All of this has prompted Repent America to conclude that the biblical God had a heavy hand in the Katrina swing along. It’s an "‘act of God,’" they claim to media. United States-based, Repent America goes to the streets to preach repentance of sin, conversion to Christ as personal Savior, and thereby living the holy lifestyle according to the biblical message.
Yes, Repent America does go to the streets (and gay pride parades and such) to proclaim the biblical message “God Abhors You,” “AIDS: Judgment or Cure?” and "You're going to Hell.”
As far as Repent America is concerned, divine judgment has come upon a metropolis that was bent on making its environs open to hell’s demons.
Gay people are hell's demons? Wow, talk about a textbook example of demonizing other people!
Um, Pastor Swank, not even Michael Marcavage went so far as to call homosexuals "hell's demons." In fact, I think I heard him ask you to get away from him, because he thinks you're an embarrassment to the cause of "Christian" hatemongering.
Therefore, God intervened.
Yes, God decided to kill thousands of innocent people to stop a city from hosting a festival. You'd think that He could have ruined the event by simply raining some frogs on it or something, but I guess that after the "Girls Gone Wild" videos He wasn't in a mood to give warning plagues.
There will be no "Southern Decadence" skipping the light fantastic. Over and out. Done. Gone. Under water.
So, the celebration won't be dancing? Um, okay.
While we are appalled at Pastor Swank's claim that New Orleans got what it deserved for hosting homosexuals, we do admire his, um, creative use of the language -- whatever language it is that he writes in.
2:21:48 AM 
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