Idiot o' the Day
While the quest to find the Ultimate Wingnut has been taking a lot of our time in recent days, we don't want to ignore the Regular Wingnut -- the person who deserves recognition for his or her wingnuttiness on a smaller, everyday scale.
So, let me introduce a new feature, the "Idiot of the Day" contest. I have rounded up three individuals whom I found pretty damned stupid and annoying. But it's up to you to choose the one who will be the World O'Crap Idiot o' the Day.
1. First up is "local activist Laurie Taylor," the woman behind that drive to rid the public school libraries in Fayetteville, Arkansas of pornography. The latest news is that Laurie is a bit put out at Governor Mike Huckabee's lack of zeal in helping her save children from dirty books. Per Agape Press, Governor Huckabee is "weighing in" (no allusion to his diet book intended, apparently) on the claims. But he doesn't seem to have used enough weight to please Laurie.
Arkansas' Governor Mike Huckabee is weighing in on the controversy regarding books in the Fayetteville public school libraries that a group of concerned parents have identified as pornographic and inappropriate for children. Upon being presented with their findings, the public official says he was "surprised and concerned to learn that schoolchildren in the Fayetteville School District may have access to books of a pornographic nature."
Huckabee says if children do in fact have access to pornographic books, he "would certainly expect the school board to take the necessary actions to remove them from circulation." He adds that parents "have every right to expect that their children will not have access to obscene material while at school."
Local activist Laurie Taylor has been spearheading an effort to get more than 50 sexually explicit books removed from Fayetteville school libraries. [...] However, although the community advocate was encouraged when Governor Huckabee stated parents have the right to petition the school board to remove the obscene books, she feels the way the governor phrased his statement raised some questions about whether he has taken the opportunity to become fully informed about the extent of the problem.
"When he said that [the students] 'may' have access to pornographic materials," Taylor notes, "it's like I'm not sure that he's looked at or seen the material."
The fact that the Governor phrased his statement that way is all that's keeping him from being on our "Idiot of the Day" list (although we do think he should be on a "Weasely Politician of the Day" list for saying how concerned he is, but indicating that his hands are tied when it comes to local school board matters). But he was smart to say "if children do in fact have access to pornographic books," because here are a few of the "pornographic" books that Ms. Taylor wants to remove from the local high school library (as detailed on her her list "Thirty-five Shocking Pornographic Books in Fayetteville School Library"):
Beloved, by Toni Morrison
Chronicle of a Death Foretold, by Gabriel García Márquez
Love in the Time of Cholera, by Gabriel García Márquez
One Hundred Years of Solitude, by Gabriel García Márquez
Ragtime, by E. L. Doctorow
Snow Falling on Cedars, by David Guterson
The Bluest Eye, by Toni Morrison
Sure, these are adult books (and do contain "adult" passages, which were lovingly copied by Ms. Taylor and her concerned fellow smut hounds in an attempt to show how SHOCKING and filthy the novels are), but under no stretch of the imagination can they be considered "pornographic." And if high school students are so hard up for racy reading material that they will go through 300 pages of Gabriel Garcia Marquez in order to find one paragraph containing the f-word, then I feel they've earned it.
(Other books that she's objecting to include sex education books which, gasp, teach kids about sex. Some even have the audacity to claim that being attracted to members of the same sex doesn't make you weird or perverted --she is extra outraged on these passages.)
Anyway, I was reading adult books by the time I was 12 -- and I was perfectly capable of skipping over scenes I found offensive (and I did find graphic sex offensive back then, and did skip over it), and was able to ignore bad language without any adult intervention. And despite all that reading, I managed to grow up without becoming a drug addict or a teen prostitute, or whatever it is that Ms. Tayor thinks that "shocking pornographic" books do to kids. IMHO, if we are now raising high school students who have to be protected from the copies of Ragtime sitting on the library shelf, then our society is doomed, and we should turn things over to the cats right now.
2. Our second nominee is Jennifer Roback Morse, a research fellow at the Hoover Institution (the place where they try to cure emotionally unstable vacuum cleaners). She is also the author of the one of the stupidest TownHall columns I've ever read (which is saying something -- it's called "Myths of reproductive freedom: Part II -- Repealing the law of cause and effect" and its thesis is that you have no right to have sex without ending up with a live baby 9 months later.
It is startling to realize that the looming battle for the Supreme Court hinges on whether nominees will pledge their support for the utterly irrational demand to suspend the law of cause and effect. For that is what the claim that we have a constitutional right to “reproductive freedom” amounts to. All Americans are entitled to have the cause, namely, unlimited sexual activity, without ever experiencing the effect, namely, a live baby. To see the absurdity of this claim, try out a couple of analogies.
Consider eating, for instance. We can all agree that eating is a good and necessary thing, that everyone is entitled to eat. We might even agree that gourmet eating is one of life’s great pleasures. We would not conclude that everyone has a constitutional right to eat as much as they want, without ever getting heart disease, high blood pressure or other natural consequences of overeating. We could not coherently claim that every person has a constitutional right to eat without getting fat, and call it “gastronomical freedom.” (Although, considering the number of overweight people waddling around America, maybe people do think they have such an entitlement.)
So, if medical science perfects a drug that allows you to eat all you want without getting fat, you have no right to take it, because it would suspend the laws of cause and effect, and we can't have that!
And here's another analogy: We can all agree that without adequate blood flow to the penis, a man can't achieve and maintain an erection. And we can also all agree that erectile dysfunction can interfere with a satisfying sex life. However, we could not coherently claim that everyone has a constitutional right to have a functioning penis and call it "Penile Freedom." And even though Viagra, Cialis, and similar drugs can help a man to achieve an erection, such drugs should be illegal, since they interfere with the natural effect of inadequate blood flow to the male member.
And don't get me started on how airplanes should be illegal, since the cause (being born without wings) requires that we experience the effect (flightlessness).
Legal scholars will argue that the right to privacy upon which Roe v. Wade depends exists nowhere in the Constitution. I go one step further: the concept of “reproductive freedom” which Roe attempts to establish is incoherent.
And if anybody can argue incoherence, it's Jennifer.
3. Our last candidate is Representative Todd Akin (R-Missouri). His nomination is based on this WorldNetDaily story: Congressmen jump into Allstate fight. Yes, it seems that Rep. Todd has involved himself in the case of Matt "Bam-Bam" Barber, the guy who claimed that he was fired by Allstate for just expressing his Christian beliefs about how gays are filthy, disease-ridden, and disgusting, and only live to age 40. As you will recall, Bam-Bam got a lawyer from a Christian/conservative outfit and sued Allstate, claiming that even though his MensNewsDaily bio (the same one that had been used for his column for months) said that he was an Allstate employee, he never said he worked for Allstate -- so even if people complained to Allstate about him, his employer violated his right to religious freedom by terminating him.
Despite the matter being a legal dispute between two parties, eight members of Congress led by Rep. Todd Akin, R-Mo., signed a letter July 15 addressed to Allstate Chairman and CEO Edward Liddy asking the executive for answers to specific questions about the Barber case.
"As members of Congress who are committed to protecting constitutional freedom of speech," the lawmakers wrote, "we are surprised by Mr. Barber's allegation.
As an idiot who seems to be unaware of the fact that the Constitution doesn't say anything about insurance companies and their company policies, Mr. Akin probably shouldn't be allowed to write letters.
Many Americans support traditional marriage and the innumerable benefits therein. …"
Say, if Bam-Bam had allegedly been fired for expressing his belief that Satan is kewl, and orgies are great, do you think that Rep. Todd would be so eager to protect his freedom of speech?
The members of Congress noted it was "especially troubling" to hear of the allegations considering the "legacy of men and women who have given their lives to protect our freedoms, including the freedom of speech."
Yes, by firing Bam-Bam, Allstate is spitting in the faces of the brave men and women who died in Iraq so that insurance company employees could write hateful screeds against gays (and alienate the company's customers), but suffer no repercussions as a result of their actions.
The letter is posted online at the website Techiguy.com.
And a mighty fine letter it is. I was especially impressed by the following lines:
"It is appalling that any American would lose his or her position for expressing his or her beliefs ... when that belief has no bearing on the work that they do. ... Personal beliefs should not be subject to censorship when publicly expressed."
I imagine that Mr. Akin will next demand that his Senate colleague Mike Dewine (R-Ohio) give blogger Jessica "Washingtonienne" Cutler her job back
Oh, and WND has finally got around to telling us Allstate's side of the story, and interestingly enough, their position is that Bam-Bam wasn't fired for being a Christian who believes in traditional marriage:
As a result of thousands of e-mails about the incident, Allstate has posted a response to the allegations on its website.
The webpage quotes part of Allstate's filing in court: "Plaintiff, James Matthew Barber, was not discharged from his employment with Allstate Insurance Company because of his religious beliefs or practices, but because he used the company's information technology systems and other resources for his personal journalism activities, many of which took place on company time, and which identified Plaintiff as an employee of the Allstate Insurance Company."
The company says it "would not terminate an employee for expressing personal religious or lifestyle views on his or her own time."
So, the Bam-Bam case actually does offer a direct parallel to the Washingtonienne one, since her employer too claimed that she was actually fired for using work computers for personal business. But where were the Representatives concerned about protecting her constitutional rights? And did we ever find the identity of the married Bush administration official whom she said paid her for sex? (I guess maybe she too could claim she was fired because of her beliefs about traditional marriage.)
Anyway, I'm sure that Rep. Todd, diligent protector of constitutional freedom of speech, will help her get her job back, and will also testify in her defense at the upcoming federal court trial, since former lover Robert Steinbuch is going ahead with his lawsuit which claims that she violated his privacy. It's nice when congressmen defend constitutional rights that way.
Anyway, those are our three nominees for Idiot o' the Day. Vote for either Laurie "Censorship Lady" Taylor, Jennifer "Babies are God's Punishment for Having Sex" Morse, or Rep. Todd "Constitutional Scholar" Akin.
Or write in your own candidate, since I'm sure there are plenty of deserving idiots out there.
3:09:32 AM 
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