So, not all that well -- he's apparently regressed to a infantile/animalistic state. But at least he's not a sissy, like that Roberts kid!
6. And speaking of animals, what ever happened in the wake of those accusations that the Gurdonettes were "animals" who didn't wear shoes?
One thing is for sure: By the time Granny is finished with them, our oft-lackadaisical children will be so ship-shape you'll be able to bounce a dime off them.
Apparently Granny, the hippy-dippy liberal who ruined the bean experiment some months ago, is now Granny, the drill sergeant who will instill some discipline in the kids and make sure there are no more nasty public accusations of bestiality. (I do wonder, however, if this is a Granny from Social Services, sent by the State to help an at-risk family.)
7. How's the home schooling going?
"What I want to know is: When can we go on a field trip?"
"Soon" I promise, "Once I get my strength back. Remember, I've been carrying this baby since right after Christmas. From now on, things are going to be a lot less, well, freighted around here."
"And will we go to the zoo?"
"We will."
So, it seems that Meghan is so stressed by the responsibilities of educating her kids (on top of caring for the new baby AND writing the occasional snotty book review for the Wall Street Journal) that she's going to leave at least a couple of children at the zoo, where they can be raised by wolves. Not a bad idea.
8. Why is Meghan giving up the column?
Paris sighs with relief. "That's great. So you'll be able to be a proper Mummy again?"
"I will."
To My Readers: Rather to my own surprise, but with confidence that it's the right thing, I've decided that this will be the final installment of The Fever Swamp.
Yes, Meghan resigned from NRO in order to be a proper Mummy (have her viscera removed through an abdominal incision or through her anus, and then dehydrated and placed in jars; and have her brain extracted through her nose, and discarded).
9. So, her story is that she chose to resign, not that she got her pink-slip after Flooooraaaaa's unfortunate resemblance to Jonah was noted by the prudish Rich Lowry?
Apparently so.
10. Now that she won't be attending any more NRO Christmas parties, will she have any more children?
[F]or like the answer to the inevitable questions about family size, "So, are you done?," I daren't quite say the Swamp is finished for good. Who knows?)
You heard her: who knows?
11. She calls her womb "The Swamp"??? Ewww!
Quite.
12. Does she have a final message for Tbogg, her biggest fan?
Thank you to all of the gracious, intelligent people who read and enjoyed the columns, and who wrote so often and so kindly to me. And thanks also, I suppose, to those of you who loathed them. It is always a pleasure épater la Gauche.
Yeah, Meghan shocked the Left, all right -- and that's how she earned the nickname of America's Worst Mother™.
But we wish her well in her new endeavors -- and little Gurdons, the Gauche is always there for you, whenever you find that you just can't take another faux Britishism, or sermonette about how scrambled eggs teach us about the brilliance of President Bush's judicial picks. Kids, it is your destiny to become Marxist college professors, commune members, and/or anti-war punk rappers. Search your hearts; you know it to be true.
And that's it for the Fever Swamp -- thank heavens we'll always have Lileks. (In today's installment, Gnat gets a nose bleed, and James notes the illogic in SpongeBob having fires UNDER THE SEA!)
