Pastor Parsley and Pals
(Image courtesy of Rotten.com)
Here's some more news about Rod Parsley (who is a televangelist, not "male public hair) and his Rally for Republican Values Reformation Ohio extravaganza.
It seems that the Democratic Mayor of Columbus (who wants to be Ohio's governor) was going to present the colorful Pastor Parsley with a proclamation honoring his efforts to make Republican Ken "Destroyer of Planned Parenthood" Blackwell the next governor of the state. Or maybe it was his wife who was going to present the Pastor with the certificate, and it was for his charitable works. No, wait, the Mayor and his wife hate the guy, and they never planned on giving him anything but their hearty condemnation! Or something.
In any care, here's some info about the contretemps from the Cleveland Plain Dealer:
Columbus Mayor Michael Coleman's effort to court "values voters" backfired Thursday, when his campaign for governor sang out of one hymn book and his office sang out of another.
Days after the Democratic mayor's office agreed to issue a proclamation honoring church leaders who want to elect a Republican governor, the Coleman campaign began demonizing the group his office had agreed to salute.
Records and interviews show that the mayor's office planned to recognize Reformation Ohio, a collection of evangelical groups that opposes abortion and gay rights and is angling to elect Republican Secretary of State Ken Blackwell as Ohio's next governor.
Well, the mayor WAS going to recognize the group until those damned Democratic constituents started complaining about it.
Democrats fumed over Coleman's alliance with Parsley.
"We had folks calling [Coleman supporters] and saying, 'Hey, you really don't want to do this,' " said Lynne Bowman, executive director of Equality Ohio, an organization that supports gay rights.
On Thursday, Coleman's campaign issued a statement saying, "Mayor Coleman was never scheduled to participate in any Reformation Ohio activities and his wife will not either." The statement said that "for too long, faith and values have been manipulated to push political agendas by dividing our citizens."
Coleman senior adviser Greg Haas denied that the campaign heard complaints about Frankie Coleman's possible involvement and denied that Coleman's mayoral office ever intended to issue the proclamation.
Haas added, "We have always been at war with Eurasia." Mayor Coleman reminded us that Parsley is not the pastor we seek, and indicated that the Force has power over week minds.
But back to the Plain Dealer:
Public records and interviews suggest otherwise.
Danni Palmore, Coleman's political director and a member of Parsley's World Harvest Church, said the proclamation was promised and that Mrs. Coleman did plan to present it.
"We had agreed to it, but we didn't know it was exactly going to be as partisan," Palmore said. She said the Republican speakers accompanying Parsley - Sen. Sam Brownback of Kansas and Rep. Walter Jones of North Carolina - changed the equation. "Pastor Parsley and the mayor have a good relationship, but these other speakers, that's what became the issue," Palmore said.
Oh, okay, so they WERE going to present the proclamation to Pastor Parsley, but it was too hard to pronounce all those "p"s ... or rather, they going to give him a certificate of appreciation, but that was before they knew that he's been hanging around with a bad crowd (i.e., out of state Republicans). However, the Mayor thinks that Parsley himself is a great guy, and that he deserves to be honored for his fine work in the cause of gay bashing.
The incident is the latest misstep for the Coleman campaign. In April, Coleman was widely criticized after he lost his temper and warned conservative radio host Glenn Beck not "to question my manhood" during a confrontational interview.
Oooh, awkward! Let's just go back to the story about the proclamation, and who did (or didn't) agree to give it to Parsley. Here's more on the subject:
According to campaign spokesperson Dan Trevas ... the proclamation request may have also been confused with one praising the church for its hurricane relief work.
Yeah, I hate it when that happens! Just the other day I thought I was giving out a proclamation to honor a church's (or political activist group's -- same thing) hurricane relief work, but only when it was too late did I discover that it was really going to be for their efforts to keep gays from marrying, to do away with the separation of church and state, to outlaw abortion and stem-cell research, and to give all public offices to Republicans.
And Trevas also said that the reason that it took so long for the Mayor's office to issue a statement opposing the event is that they wanted to learn more about these things called "Republicans" who were going to be appearing with Parsley -- and that took extensive research!
Trevas said the campaign took so long issuing a statement opposing the event because, “we wanted to consider ways to say what we were saying. We wanted to find statements by Brownback and Jones” that suggested their views.
Asked if Parsley’s views on gays, Muslims, and other issues, which are well known and well-publicized, were enough by themselves to refuse the proclamation, Trevas said he didn’t know, again stating it was a “different thing.”
"Different" meaning "A politician with an election coming up can't afford to alienate the racist homophobe bloc."
Oh, and for you playing at home, here are some of Parsley's views, courtesy of the Center for Moral Clarity FAQ:
Does Pastor Parsley hate homosexuals?
Not at all. Pastor Parsley feels great compassion for men and women who are captive to the homosexual lifestyle. Possibly no other group of people is more in need of the healing, deliverance and forgiveness that can only be found in a relationship with Jesus Christ.
Homosexual behavior is not only a sin before a holy and just God, but also a breeding ground for disease. It’s well documented that the average live expectancy of homosexual men and women is about 30 years shorter than their heterosexual counterparts. Pastor Parsley loves homosexuals enough to tell them the truth about their situation and the only way out – through Christ.
So, Pastor Parsley loves homosexuals enough to tell them that not only are they vile sinners, but also filthy, disease-ridden degenerates who won't live past age 40 or so. (His medical claims were thoroughly documented by the prestigious Internets.)
Here's more from the FAQ
Does Pastor Parsley hate Muslims?
Pastor Parsley loves people and hates the belief systems that keep them from the truth. Islam is a false, dangerous religion.
As opposed to the religion practiced by Parsley, which encourages poor people to send him donations by claiming that the contributions are "seed money" which will grow them riches. ("You're on the brink of a miracle. Go to the phone and give $1,000, $5,000, $10,000 and $1,000,000, go to the phone...God has a miracle waiting on your response." -- Can Christians Buy A Miracle Like So Many Christian Leaders Teach? )
So, you can see why he would have deserved an award, if only he hadn't been hanging out with the Freedom Fries guy.
Now, back to story about how the Mayor didn't plan on giving Parsley a proclamation:
More confusing, campaign manager Greg Haas told the Cleveland Plain Dealer that Coleman’s intent was to appear with Parsley and “ambush” him, using the proclamation as an opportunity to chastise him for his intolerant views.
Trevas confirmed that report.
LOL! This just keeps getting better and better!
To recap: The Mayor was never planning on giving Parsley a proclamation.
Well, maybe Mrs. Coleman was going to give Parsley something of the sort.
No, nobody was! And nobody complained about the Mayor's plans to honor the Pastor, because the Colemans never even considered the idea of showing up at his rally!
Okay, they thought about it, but that was before they knew the rally was political.
Or maybe they thought the proclamation was in honor of his church's work on behalf of hurricane victims.
No, actually, they WERE going to give Parsley the proclamation, but only so they could honor him, I mean, chastise him for his "intolerant views." Yeah, it was going to be sweet when they said, "Here's your proclamation ... PSYCH!"
But in any case, his views about gays and Muslims are "a different thing" than, um, something else. So, whatever happened, it wasn't anything that reflects badly on the Mayor.
Coleman issued a statement October 13 saying he was never scheduled to participate in Parsley’s events and asserting his “clear record” of championing equal rights for everyone.
Well, that explains everything. Thanks, Mayor Coleman, for clearing this up.
P.S. Here are some more of Pastor Parsley's views, from that FAQ:
16. Does Pastor Parsley endorse candidates for public office?
No, because that would be illegal. CMC is an outreach of World Harvest Church, and as such is bound by IRS regulations that prohibit him from endorsing political candidates. In fact, clergy of all faith expressions have been prohibited from endorsing candidates for the past 50 years.
Pastor Parsley is a firm supporter of the Houses of Worship Free Speech Restoration Act, which would return to members of the clergy the right to endorse candidates.
So, Pastor Parsley doesn't endorse candidates, because if he did, he could lose his tax-exempt status (which is a fate worse than going to hell). But he does urge you to support Walter "Freedom Fries" Jones' legislation, so that the Pastor can tell you whom to vote for -- but until that bill passes, just vote for Republicans.
20. What are some of the positions Pastor Parsley takes that are more commonly associated with liberals?
Pastor Parsley believes racism angers God, and has no place in a civilized society. He asks whites to insist on equality for all races, and implores blacks to be done with bitterness over past injustices.
In other words, whites should not discriminate against members of other races, and blacks should stop demanding EEO protection.
He is a zealous advocate for women’s rights. Pastor Parsley believes it’s a travesty that women are paid significantly less than men for comparable jobs, and favors giving women equal opportunity to pursue their individual callings in the areas of employment, leadership and family.
I.e., women should have equal opportunity to pursue their callings as secretaries, presidents of women's leagues, and mothers.
Pastor Parsley also believes poverty is an unacceptable condition in the richest nation in the world. He favors the elimination of wasteful programs that harm the poor by creating a dependence on government to provide what people should – and almost universally want to – provide for themselves.
Pastor Parsley wants to help the poor by eliminating welfare programs, in order to give the disadvantaged a chance to starve on their own.
And here's part of his info on why we must fight against same-sex marriage -- it comes from his Center's section on Christian Response to Moral Issues:
If same-sex marriage is legalized, then on what basis can marriage be denied to any other group or coupling? If marriage were a civil right, than what would stop group marriages or what would stop someone from marrying their pet?
If only Rick Santurum wasn't a Catholic, he'd be right at home in the Pastor's megachurch.
And here's a choice bit from the "Christian Response" to bio-ethical issues (emphasis added, so you won't think that your eyes are playing tricks on you):
The Center for Moral Clarity firmly believes life begins at conception. Whether conception took place naturally or in a laboratory, the embryo is a part of humanity and entitled to all the same rights and privileges as a fully developed human.
And until 10-day-old embryos are given the right to drink, drive, vote, and marry, then this country is abusing "the most innocent of all human beings." (I guess that once a child is born, it's a sinner, which would be why the Pastor worries more pin point-sized embryos than he does actual living children).
Anyway, I hope Mayor Coleman gives the Pastor a proclamation for his work on behalf of embryo-Americans (and "future clones"), and I look forward to many more entertaining stories coming out of Columbus in the days to come.
3:36:31 AM 
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