Red Dawn in Morning, Commies Take Warning
Red Dawn at Night, Yellow Elephants' Delight
Before I post the penultimate chapter of Scott C.'s stirring summary of Red Dawn, I thought it might be appropriate to devote a moment to Ben Domenech, the has-been who inspired Scott to watch this flick.
So, here's the link to Ben's Top 100 Movies list. You'll note that Red Dawn didn't make the cut. However, when one looks at what Ben had to say about the movies he included in his Top Ten list, and then compares, say, his capsule review of Chinatown with the Amazon.com review of the film, one notices some similarities. To make it easier for you to note them, I have pasted in the corresponding Amazon phrases, and colored them maroon.
Brooding film noir, [Roman Polanski's brooding film noir] the titanic evil of John Huston, [titanic father, Noah Cross (John Huston),} a hard-boiled script by Robert Towne [hard-bitten script by Robert Towne] about, of all things, water rights) -- and Jack Nicholson at his roaring best to top it off. The standard by which all other detective films are judged.
So, I think that if Ben had written a review of Red Dawn, it would have been something like this. (The actual Amazon.com review is in maroon; what I think Ben would have written follows in black):
The Ronald Reagan 1980s were all about going back to the future--rewriting the past to better suit Reagan's upbeat vision of the present. So, Sylvester Stallone's John Rambo (a psychotic, shell-shocked Vietnam vet in the original film, transformed into a flag-waving hero in the sequel) was able to go back to Southeast Asia and "correct" history by decisively (and single-handedly) winning that messy ol' war on behalf of America.
The Ronald Reagan 1980s were all about going back to the future, and rewriting the past to better suit Reagan's upbeat vision of the present. For example, Ronnie rewrote Star Wars and used it to defeat the commies. So, inspired by Reagan, Sylvester Stallone's John Rambo snapped out of his Jimmy Carter-caused malaise, and transformed himself from a psychotic, shell-shocked Vietnam vet into a flag-waving hero -- then he went back to Southeast Asia and singled-handedly won that messy ol' war on behalf of America.
I have to wonder: where is our Rambo for today, who will win the Iraq war on behalf of America?
Bill Clinton probably killed him.
Red Dawn is a paranoid cold-war cautionary tale that presents us not with a rosy alternative past, but with an ominous vision of the future, metaphorically plopping a piece of Russian-occupied Afghanistan into America's back yard.
Red Dawn is a realistic cold-war cautionary tale that presents us with an ominous vision of the future of 20 years ago by showing us what would happen if Russian-occupied Afghanistan was plopped into America's back yard. Thank heavens Ronnie kept it from really occurring!
In this celebration of the Second Amendment, storm troopers from the Evil Empire descend upon the inadequately defended United States and hold America hostage. Stealthily avoiding the invaders, a motley group of red-blooded, small-town, gun-toting teenagers go underground to form the Wolverines, a guerilla resistance squad dedicated to making those Russkies rue the day they parachuted onto U.S. soil. It's a darn good thing those kids had the right to keep and bear arms, huh!
Ditto.
Red Dawn was a commercial success, although audiences invariably split into two camps, finding it either patriotic or appalling. Whatever your verdict, the film remains a telling reflection of its era. --Jim Emerson
Red Dawn was a commercial success, although audiences invariably split into two camps: the decent, conservative, moral, all-American camp, which finds the film patriotic; and the dirty commie/hippie camp, which finds it appalling. Whatever your verdict, you have to admit that the film is the greatest pro-gun movie ever! --Ben Domenech.
But speaking of movie heroes, let's hear from Ben's girlfriend Christine, who compares Ben to the eponymous character in Mr. Smith Goes to Washington ("In both, a young, relatively inexperienced, and exceptionally idealistic man is accepted for a job in Washington, DC . . . he throws himself into his work, trying to make a difference through what little influence he is given. And yet he is doomed from the start. Lies and accusations are thrown at the innocent man, who had stepped on the toes of those in power.")
Actually, Ben's story reminds me of The Passion of the Christ.
But here's more from Christine:
As everyone knows, it's been a particularly traumatic week for Ben, as he has been bombarded with ridiculous and unfounded insults and threats. Nothing is sacred as they clutch at straws, trying to shame an honorable man. I think we all agree that Ben is one in a million and that we are all proud to know such a virtuous, intelligent, compassionate, and selfless man.
Yes, I think we do all agree on that.
Anyway, enough about Ben. Now, here's the thrilling almost-conclusion of Red Dawn, courtesy of Scott. C, American hero.
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 Click image to enlarge
Back to the Insurgency. Jennifer Grey destroys a Soviet tank by giving the crew a booby-trapped picnic basket (as seen in Yogi Bear – The Final Conflict). Then, "the greatest pro-gun movie ever" proves that your bird-hunting gun really ain’t gonna cut it come the Conquering Commie Horde, because suddenly our heroes have rockets and grenade launchers, Kalashnikovs and .50 machine guns. They proceed to slaughter the highly trained Soviet paratroopers, pausing only occasionally to hoist a rifle and bellow, "Wolverines!"
They tag the town with Wolverine graffiti until it’s hard to tell if this is an insurrection, or Homecoming. One thing is certain though – since our ragtag band of partisans are never outnumbered, it’s clear that the Soviets invaded America with a force roughly the size of a high school football team. (Just the JV. Bringing in the Frosh/Soph squad to back them up wouldn’t have been fair.)
Just when you thought things couldn’t get any more tedious, the Russkies shoot down Top Gun Colonel Powers Boothe (call sign "Deus Ex Machina"), who tells the kids that America was conquered by illegal aliens. Apparently, itinerant farm workers opened the door and "the whole Cuban and Nicaraguan armies just waltzed right in" and took over. I don’t know about you, but my support for that UFA grape boycott is OVER!
The seasons pass. In real time. The snows come, and Patrick takes to wearing a white burnoose like Lawrence of Arabia. Some tanks suddenly appear and things get confusing: Ralph Macchio dies, and he wasn’t even in this movie. Someone lights a Smokey Joe. Powers gets blown up real good, putting the kibosh on Lea’s blossoming sexuality.
A Russian colonel with a John Stossel porn ‘stache arrives and gives a long boring speech about farm animals and various small-to-midsized fur bearing quadrupeds. It doesn’t seem to help.
Then some people walk around the forest while some other people shoot at them, but since they’re all wearing snowsuits it’s kind of hard to tell who. Richard Beymer goes to town, is betrayed by his own father!, captured by the Russians and tortured until he swallows a tracking device that will lead the invaders right to the Wolverines! Finally! Something exciting happens – too bad it all happens off screen and we just get to hear about it later. Oh well.
Patrick decides to shoot Richard in the face, but Charlies demurs, shouting, "What’s the difference between us and them?" Patrick screams "We LIVE HERE!" and fires. So apparently I can summarily execute my condo board, since a lot of them actually rent out their units.
Everyone leaves, but Patrick sits on a horse and looks at the body for a long time, so apparently he’s feeling some sort of emotion. Fortunately for us, he has the good taste to keep it to himself.
To Be Continued . . .
4:43:12 AM 
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