Bill O'Reilly, the Musical!
Our friend David E. points us to a notice about an obscure off-Broadway production, and says:
Unfortunately, this is old, and apparently not about Bill O’Reilly, but I think it’s deserving of wider attention. Because if there ever WERE to be a musical about Bill O’Reilly, clearly it’s worth the copyright lawsuit for it to carry this title.
I agree. I think He Died with a Felafel in his Hand is the definitive title for a musical about Bill O'Reilly -- I will ask the the Supreme Court to award it to us via eminent domain or something so that we can start work on this tribute to Mr. Shutup. (Well, if we use the Americanized spelling and call our version He Died With a Falafel in His Wanking Hand, then maybe we can go ahead with the project without disturbing Judge Roberts and the gang.)
We can also probably use some of the play as written, for, as the site advises, "The show is specifically designed to be watched whilst the audience drinks - it includes crowd pleasers such as a gravity bong demonstration, bondage sessions with politicians, pole dancing and many simulated sex scenes.")
Anyway, your task is to come up with some ideas for songs for the work. You can provide the lyrics too, if you feel inspired.
Here's one that just came to me:
Billy, Don't Be a Dimwit
The kids' Santa parade came down along Main Street
The War On Christmas troops fell in behind
I looked across and there I saw Billy
Waiting to go and join the line.
And with her head bowed down in shame
His young and lovely Fox News P.A.
From where I stood I saw she was cryin'
And through her tears I heard her say
Billy, don't be a dimwit, instead go jump in a lake
Billy, don't be a dimwit, this story's so fake
And as he started to go, she said, Billy, don't go so low
Billy, don't be dimwit, come back to Natalee Holloway
The Christmas warriors were trapped in a food court
The battle raging all around
John Gibson cried, We've got to hang on, boys!
We've got to hold this piece of ground
I need a volunteer to sneak out
And bring us back some fresh outrage
And Billy's hand was up in a moment
Forgettin' all the words she said
She said
Billy, don't be a dimwit, instead go jump in a lake
Billy, don't be a dimwit, this story's so fake
And as he started to go she said, Billy, don't go so low
Billy, don't be dimwit, come back to condemning rap and pandering to porn
I heard his P.A. got a letter
That told how Billy died in the ratings that day
The letter said that he was a numbskull
She should be glad she was on leave that day
I heard she threw that letter away ...
12:33:03 AM 
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