The Veggie Guy Replies
This week, when I picked up my bag of CSA veggies, there was a note included, replying to the message I had left on the Bivers Farms machine complaining about the sorry state of the potatoes I've received.
Here's his reply:
"Dear Jan,
"We apologize for our product and for the dissatisfaction you have felt."
Good start.
"Thank you for your input."
O.K.
"Rarely, for reasons unknown, do we receive criticism, though we present plenty of opportunites."
Huh?
"We now have a legitimate complaint for our mandated complaint log, kept as compliance for Organic certification."
Good to know.
"Now to address your problem. I will include a couple of pounds of potatoes as replacement."
That would have been nice, but there were none in the bag.
"I will also include two potatoes, one I would consider acceptable and one that is not."
Is he implying here that I don't know what an "acceptable" potato is supposed to look like? And what difference does it make what HE considers unacceptable. I already said that the potatoes were unacceptable to ME.
"I sincerely hope that your potatoes were not of the latter classification."
But I already said that they were.
"Your complaint referred to sprouting and firmness; please allow me to address both issues. Both issues are related to both time from crop maturity and storage conditions. Ideal conditions are 90% relative humidity at 45df."
Why am I getting this lecture?
"The humidity helps preserve firmness and the temperature effects sprouting. We do not have such a facility, nor does our scale qualify such expense. Even with such infrastructure, sprouting would begin at 6 weeks without the use of sprout inhibitors prohibited under the National Organic Program guidelines."
But I paid up front (and a premium to boot) to buy local, so I could get produce that's FRESH.
"Preservatives are also used to ensure firmness for the retail market. Neither sprouting nor softness present inedibility, only lack of presentation."
And lack of freshness!!!!
"Simply remove the sprouts and prepare as usual."
First he gives me old produce, then he insults my intelligence.
"Again, we apologize for this situation."
Not good enough.
(At the bottom, there was a hand-written addition to the note explaining that he had forgotten to put in the replacement potatoes and "hoped" to include them in the next bag.)
As you can imagine, I left another message.
(Illustration from "A Whole World," by Couprie and Louchard.)
2:52:30 PM 
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