Friday, November 28, 2003

people can't get enough Once again, my so called lesbian life is beating the pants off of me, even though it hasn't been updated in months. (That's because people can't get enough of lesbians.  And heroin addicts.  And nazis.  And man eating sharks.  And people eating cow testicles and being dropped out of airplanes in locked boxes.  People can't get enough of Michael Jackson's nose. People can't get enough of Panera bread.  And Hummers.  And techno.  People can't get enough of techno.  And people can't get enough of sex in the city.  And the Sopranos. And people can't get enough of feature films by Pixar.  And people can't get enough of cute pictures that their friends e-mail them at work-- that everyone else in the fucking world gets e-mailed the same day.  And people cant' get enough of martinis.  Blue maritinis.  Choclate maritinis.  Eleven dollar martinis. Well fuck all of that.) 11:05:51 PM    comment []

Here's the the next Duh! magical artifact.  I bought him at the little beer and cig store where I got change for my laundry.  Then I left him at the laundr-o-mat for an hour and was amazed to find him still there when I returned.  So, this thing has gone through a lot already. Anyway, Jenga Fett, even though he comes from one of the stupidest Star Wars movies, will bring you great prosperity if you have the adventerous spirit to retrieve him from his hiding place.  In fact, he will bring you a 22% increase in income in 2004 if you retreive him. 2:36:36 PM    comment []

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far, far away This is the not so secret location of Jenga Fett, a gum dispenser from a galaxy far, far away. This is a bank of america atm, located at in the Remax realty office, at the corner of 2nd street, and 2nd ave. north in St. Petersburg. Jenga is tucked safely in the upper right hand corner of the machine. 2:24:53 PM    comment []

I keep thinking it would be a great source of material to write about all the funny things that happen while I'm dating girls.  But then I realize the girls have computers and would just instantly read all the invasive, unflattering things I was saying about them.  I doesn't even work too good to wait until you break up.  I tried that with my last girlfriend.  I wrote these really funny stories about her, but then I ended up havng sex with her again, and letting her move in again.  The next thing I know I she was saying, "you've got to take these stories off the blog." It would be a lot simpler if I just had a blog about fly fishing in midwestern bodies of water. But that's what I don't get about other blogs.  I mean, how do you stick to one topic for months and months.  I mean, what's that heroin blog going to write about once he hashes out all of his heorin meomories?  He's gonna have to start shooting up again.  Or the other day I checked out 'sexies mothers do exist.'  I was eager to encounter some sexy mothers.  But instead there was a discussion about today's unemployment rate vs. the great depression.  Not very sexy.  Is that other mom still training for a triathlon?  Well, anyway you get the idea. And by the way, why does that filchy boy get so many goddamn hits?  Each week it seems to creep up.  Ten thousand.  Twleve thousand.  Now its fourteen or fifteen thousand.  When I check it out there's just this offer to have your penis measured, and a brief anti bush blurb.  It must be some sort of international gay network conspiracy. And while I've got my complaining cap on:  why is everything so expensive?  If everyone would just lower their prices we wouldn't have to work so much!  And who invented Tuesday?  It's stupid, get rid of it!  Why is the sun so bright?!   9:12:47 AM    comment []

© Copyright 2003 Mark Michaels. Last update: 12/4/2003; 9:23:14 PM.