old faithful
One of the best things about being married was when my wife would pop the zits on my back. It was almost as good as sex, sometimes even better. I would get goose bumps and a warm fuzzy feeling inside as my wife would squeeze zit after zit and show me what they had yielded. The beauty of it was that my wife actually liked to pop my zits as much as I liked having them popped.
Some zits would reform time after time so often that my wife would name them. The first reoccurring zit was "Old Faithful." Old Faithful was this big bump right in the center of my back. The first time my wife squeezed it, it looked like a Mack truck had rolled over a tube of tooth paste. My wife gasped in wonder at what she had discovered, and when she showed me the results I got the goose bumps and the warm, fuzzy feeling. She used to get three or four good squeezings from Old Faithful per session until it was all squeezed out. Then it would take about a month to fully refill.
After Old Faithful, she found a New Faithful, which was equally impressive. I think there was even a New, New Faithful.
The New Faithfuls eventually dried up and disappeared, but not Old Faithful. It's still back there to this day.
My wife and I actually joked that if we ever got divorced we would have to periodically sneak away from our new spouses or whoever and secretly resume out zit popping sessions. It was just a joke, and we never thought in a million years that would happen.
But we did get divorced. And sure enough, on more than one occasion we have put aside our differences long enough for her to have go at my back.
For the most part though, I have had to go it alone with my back zits. Despite going out with many wonderful women since my divorce, I have never found a girl that was really into squeezing my zits the way my wife was.
Consequently, there have been many frustrating, lonely nights for me where I have nearly dislocated my shoulder try to squeeze out Old Faithful.
(from Beautiful Loser, 2002).
7:02:29 PM 
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