Wednesday, December 10, 2003

The past twenty four hours have been so weird that I can't even think straight or decide on a course of action.  I think maybe that I'm going to work out, but then I grab a stack of Ritz crackers instead. The wind is blowing on me and I'm kind of cold, but the window is impossible to close and I don't know where my jacket is.  Should I eat? Smoke a cigarette? Beat-off?  Go on a bicycle ride?  I just can't decide. 8:10:28 PM    comment []

I bought a regular digital (still) camera today.  Up till now I've been using a digital 8 video camera, using the still picture feature and then editing the images through windows movie maker.  But it was kind of obtrusive to pull out a relatively big video camera when you're trying to get a qucik, discreet, spontaneous shot.  So, with an unexpected day off, I went to Best Buy and blew a bunch of money on a camera.  First, I got a cheap-o camera that I liked because it fit right in my breast pocket.  But then, I decided I hated it mostly for its limited zoom capabilities.  So then I had to exchange it and pay a restocking fee so I could get a camera that would do the job. Who fucking cares right?  Can you imagine if Steven Spielberg came out during the middle of one of his blockbuster movies and started talking about what kind of camera they used, and how they had to return it and pay a restocking fee? Well, I'm no Steven Spielberg. 8:05:56 PM    comment []

This is a pretty good depiction of how I felt all day today. Meanwhile, I feel this compulsive need to put stuff on the blog.  Anything. Words and pictures for these unseen people.  In my thirty-three years I was never interested in taking pictures or telling stories to people I actually knew.  But now I have this incessant drive to hold the attention of this faceless nameless audience of abstract cyber-people.  If it starts getting late in the day and I haven't posted anything, I have this nagging feeling lilke, oh no, they're starting to miss me!  I'm letting them down!  I need to post a picture of my toe nail or a dust bunny in the corner!  7:56:38 PM    comment []

building my own robot   As a kid, I always wanted to build my own robot.  It seemed like it was somehow possible.  I figured I could use various parts of my Star Wars toys and models for the robot body.  Then I could buy some little motors at Radio Shack to power its arms, legs, and head.  Then I could put in little lights for eyes. I told my sister about my plans to build my own robot. "You can't build a robot," my sister said. My mom overhead her and came to my defense. "If Mark says he can build a robot then he probably can," my mom said. "What?!" my sister said, sounding very annoyed. But my sister was right.  I couldn't build a robot.   I also wanted to build my own submarine, but I couldn't do that either.   (from Beautiful Loser, 2002)   5:24:03 PM    comment []

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