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Friday, January 02, 2004
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family circus
In case you missed it this morning, here is a depiction of the always delightful and hilarious Family Circus cartoon.
Here's the scene: Billy is runnig out the back door in his pee-wee football uniform. In his hand he's carrying some sort of sandwich. Runnig just behind him on the steps is Barfy, the family dog. The mother is in the open doorway, and she's looking after Billy with a concerned look on her face.
The caption reads: "Be careful with that sandwich, Barfy's looking for a fumble!"
God damn, that's some funny shit! Barfy's looking for a fumble! Where does mister Keane get these great ideas? I mean the idea that a dog, that doesn't even know what football is, could be looking for a fumble, that really stretches our imagination.
Well, I wonder what happened? Did Billy fumble the sandwich? Did Barfy run away with mustard and mayonaise on his whiskers? That's the beauty of it all. We get to decide for ourselves what might have happened in that situation. Like all great art, it stimulates us and opens our minds. It teaches us about ourselves and who we are.
11:22:15 PM 
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 John and BASk
I hung out at a table with BASK and the Vitale Brothers at the Emerald. We were having a digital camera love fest in our little corner of the bar, taking dozens of pictures of each other.
We're all superstars in our own minds.
Thank God John put a rest to his clean and sober kick, at least for the night. Without drugs and alcohol in his life, John had become some sort of weird stranger, tightly gripping a glass of water with lemon, pretending to be high on life. Please, don't ever do that to us again John. We love the real you--the chemically dependent you.
Anyway, the next day John and I made plans to do some film projects. We're going to turn some of the Beautiful Loser stories into motion picture vingettes. Or at least that's the plan.
10:36:11 PM
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 advice
I ran into Alisha Vitale at the Emerald on New Year's eve. She tried to give me some advice about how to meet the right kind of woman for me.
Unfortuntely, I don't remember anything she said.
10:24:19 PM
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an open letter to steve martin
Dear Steve Martin,
Your new movie sucks! I mean it really sucks ass. It is the most generic, contrived, phoney, sappy piece of shit I have ever seen.
What the hell happened to you? You used to be an inventive, edgy comedian that could make people's guts hurt from laughing so hard. You're stand up was wacky but intellectual too. Now you're just a boring old man miliking your name and trying to look cute in front of a camera for two hours. Did you have a lobotomy or something?
I can't believe you would ever sit through the same stupid movie that I just sat through. (And believe me, I wouldn't have sat for five minutes of it I didn't take my kid with me). (Why do you keep making cute kids movies if you don't even like kids? Oh, that's right to pick up a paycheck, and because your agent says that family movies always do pretty good even if they suck).
Well, Steve, you'll always have The Jerk.
Sincerely,
Mark Michaels
(p.s. oh and Steve, feel free to post a comment, if you're man enough, that is).
9:56:20 PM
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woo-woo!
One time when I was a little kid I was playing with all the neighborhood kids in Katie Davis' yard, which was just a couple doors down from my yard. While we were playing freeze tag, or capture the flag or whatever, we saw my dad come home from work and pull into my driveway.
All the kids stopped and watched as my mom came out to welcome my dad home. My mom met my dad halfway to the front door. Then my mom and dad kissed each other on the lips.
All the neighbohood kids jumped up and down and clapped their hands and went and went, "woo-woo!"
Nearly thirty years later, my mom and dad are still married. But I don't ever remember seeing them kiss on the lips after that.
9:40:49 PM
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© Copyright 2004 Mark Michaels.
Last update: 2/1/2004; 6:28:24 PM.
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