the red light is on
When I went to Maximo Elementary in the 70s, there was a giant yellow traffic light right in the middle of the cafeteria. On the first day of school, Mr. Sokolowski, the assistant principal got up in front of all the kids and explained what the giant traffic light was for.
"When the green light is on," Mr. Sokolowski began, turning the light to green, "it means that you are not talking too loud and everything is okay."
"But," he said, " switching the light to yellow," if you see the yellow light come on, it means that you are getting a little too loud, and you should quiet down your voices.
Then Mr. Sokolowski got very grave and serious.
"And if you see the RED LIGHT come on," Mr. Sokolowski said, switching the light to a menacing crimpson, "then you kids are being WAY TOO LOUD and there will be ABSOLUTELY NO TALKING! When you see this RED LIGHT on it means that not a word should come out of your mouth. There will be COMPLETE SILENCE until the green light comes on."
"Is that understood?" Mr. Sokolowski said looking at every kid in the cafeteria.
"I CAN'T HEAR YOU, PEOPLE. IS THAT UNDERSTOOD?"
"Yes, Mr. Sokoloski" everyone mumbled together.
Right then, I thought to myself that I would always try to keep my voice down. And I vowed that I would never, ever be caught talking while the red light was on.
Since I was a pretty shy and quiet kid to begin with, this was a pretty easy promise to keep. But to my horror, I found that a lot of the other kids would talk loud all the time during lunch. They would scream and shout even.
In fact, I could tell on the very first day that the kids in the cafeteria were getting too loud. I saw Mr. Sokolowski pacing back and forth near the traffic light. Sometimes he put a single finger to his lips to try to give a warning that the light was about to change.
I began to feel very agitated and nervous.
What's wrong with you people? I thought. Can't you tell that you're getting too loud? Mr. Sokolowski is getting mad. He's going to change the light to yellow.
But the other kids didn't seem to notice or care. They just kept talking and talking, getting louder and louder.
And then it happened. Mr. Sokolowski changed the light to yellow.
Immediately, from different corners of the cafeteria, there came a chorus of shushing. Somewhere out there among the masses, there were other kids like me who didn't want to see Mr. Sokolowski get mad. They didn't want to see the red light come on.
Mr. Sokolowski picked up his microphone and addressed us.
"As you can see, the yellow light is on. This means you need to quiet down. Quiet down, or I will have to put on the red light."
With this, the noise level in the cafeteria seemed to drop, but only for a moment. The next thing you know kids started getting noisy again. And before long, the kids were louder than ever. They were screaming and shouting and laughing.
What's wrong with you people, I thought. The yellow light is still on. Don't you know what that means?
But the kids didn't seem to care. They wouldn't heed Mr. Sokolowski's warning. They didn't see the anger in his eyes.
And then the unthinkable happened. Mr. Sokolowski marched over to the giant traffic light and switched it to red. Then he picked up the microphone.
"AS YOU WILL SEE THE RED LIGHT IS NOW ON. I REPEAT, THE RED LIGHT IS ON. THAT MEANS NO TALKING. EVERYONE STOP TALKING. I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ONE WORD OUT OF YOU. THE RED LIGHT IS ON."
Again, there was the chorus of shushing from around the cafeteria. And people began to shut their mouths and get quiet. But some kids just couldn't manage to stop talking. You would hear their individual voices still going on nakedly in the otherwise silent cafeteria. The shushers would shush them even harder, while Mr. Sokolowski would glare and point at them one by one. Finally, it was just a couple of voices and the shushers went full force on them. And then it was just the shushers shushing each other. Then there was one last self-righteous shush.
At last, there was complete silence. There was no talking at all. The red light had exacted its terrible vengeance upon the Maximo cafeteria. After a long poignant pause, Mr. Sokolowski spoke again.
"Now there will be no talking until the green light comes on again. Understand, no talking WHAT-SO-EVER!"
After staring all of us down again, Mr. Sokolowski put down the microphone and walked away from the giant traffic light. His footsteps echoed in the tense silence of the cafeteria.
For a moment, no one spoke. The silence reigned supreme over everyone.
And then some kid dropped his lunch tray on the hard tile floor. The sound of crashing plastic and silverwear destroyed the silence of the red light.
All in unison, the kids of the cafeteria went: "ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH"
6:20:53 PM 
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