Friday, January 16, 2004

blog epidemic I have a certain friend of mine who is coming down with blog sickness.  He is exhibiting one of its worst symptoms: spending all of his office hours writing blog stories instead of doing work for the company that is paying him.  If he doesn't get better soon, I am going to have to do an intervention. Besides, he's starting to drain the pool of our shared personal experiences for his own blog anecdotes.  He is stealing bits of my life and using it to glorify his blog.  He must be stopped. 3:30:36 PM    comment []

just kidding Despite the Newcastle fiasco, I still tried to get Sarah to go out with me over the next couple of weeks. The problem was, I was the most broke and unemployed and hopeless as I'd ever been in my life.  I spent my days trying to work on these stupid paintings in my crummy little Gulfport apartment.  But after working for fifteen or twenty minutes on a painting I would feel really tired and depressed and I would lie down on my mattress and stare for hours at my drop panel ceiling with water stains on it. I remember when I called Sarah I was working on this painting of a nuclear explosion.  In fact, I was painting a picture of the largest Nuclear explosion to occur on the planet Earth: a 50 megaton blast over the bikini atoll in the 1950s.  But, to be honest, I don't really like painting that much and I'm not very good at it.   After working on the nuclear explosion painting for fifteen minutes I called Sarah to see if she would go out with me. "How come you're not at work?" Sarah wanted to know. "Well, I don't really have a job," I said. "You need to have money to take me out," Sarah said. "Well, I don't really have any money right now," I said.  "But I think I could have twenty bucks or so by Friday." "I don't go out with guys with no money and no jobs," Sarah said.  "Well, will you just let me come over and sleep with you?" I said. "Um, okay," Sarah said. "Really?" I said, feeling a sudden tingle in my privates. "No, just kidding," Sarah said. And that was pretty much the end of it.  I hung up the phone and laid down on my mattress and looked up at my drop panel ceiling with water stains on it for several hours.   3:04:08 PM    comment []

Sarah's Scavenger Hunt If you've always wanted an excuse to get drunk and look for junk, now you've got it.  Sarah pictured left, is having another one of her polaroid scavenger hunts this Saturday in St. Pete.  I guess you're supposed to meet at Cafe Almas at noon with a polaroid camera and a cooler full of beer.  I have no idea what happens after that. (I'll bring a cooler full of newcastles). Let me warn you, though:  Sarah is crazy and she is liable to attack you like a rabid hyena at any given moment. (It's also rumored that Sarah and Linda will have a 12 round cat fight in a kiddie pool full of bar-b-que sauce). e-mail sarah:  sarahsuperstarr@hotmail.com  for details, or if you'd just like to party with her. 11:46:09 AM    comment []

© Copyright 2004 Mark Michaels. Last update: 2/1/2004; 6:28:32 PM.