Thursday, January 22, 2004

According to the latest CBS/New York Times Poll, Duh! is in a dead heat with Howard Dean in the race to lose all followers as quickly as possible. Meanwhile, the South Beach Diet and John Kerry are tearing up the charts, bringing the masses the kind of thoughtful and provocative infotainment that all Americans expect and deserve. (And if there isn't a picture up above with a little guy pointing to a chart than fuck everthing and everyone). most boring, pointless, and stupid? I would like to challenge anybody to find a web site that is more boring, pointless, and stupid than this one.  (And don't say my blog). 11:00:48 PM    comment []

the suicide girls I went with Whitney to see the suicide girls do their burlesque show at the state theatre last night. We waited outside in the cold for twenty minutes to get in.  But Whitney didn't have her ID so we had to drive back to my house to get it. When we got inside it was so packed that it was almost impossible to get a drink.  When I finally got up to the bar I ordered two beers and a coke and a water just because I didn't want to get in line again. We went up to the stage to check out the punk bands that were opening for the suicide girls.  Then suddenly these punks started slam dancing and knocked two of my drinks out of my hands. Then we went up on the balcony to get away from all the nonsense, but up there it felt like we were really far away and we weren't really doing anything.  My legs started to hurt from standing and Whitney was still sick from her cold. Then we went downstairs again.  There were 500 people in this little place and they were all smoking.  I felt like I was going to die from asphyxiation and the suicide girls hadn't even started yet. Finally the suicide girls came on and did their show.  It was pretty good, I guess.  The girls did little skits where they stripped down to their panties and electrical tape on their nipples. One of the suicide girls was kind of fat.  Another one had saggy tits.  A couple of them had no tits.  One had a really pretty face and nice perky tits, but there was still something kind of funny about her ass.   At the end of the show the suicide girls all squirted whip cream and choclate sauce on each other.  At last they were done and I went outside with Whitney and gasped for air. 8:34:49 PM    comment []

do you believe in love? I came home for lunch today and checked my mailbox on my way in the front door.  Inside, I saw my electric bill sitting ominously among some junk mail. I remembered how I swore after my last $230 electric bill I was going to take my iguanas back to the pet store because of their need to be kept warm 24/7 in my drafty, poorly insulated home.  But I never got around to taking my iguanas back.  Every time I got home I was always tired and it seemed like such a hassle to load up the cage and make a trip across town, etc. But now, here was my electric bill again.  I had a very bad feeling as I picked it up. I ripped open the envelope and pulled out the bill. It said I owed the Florida Progress Corp. three-hundred and twenty two dollars and seventy eight cents.  (That's almost as much as my rent was at my last apartment). Three hours later my iguanas were packed in the back of my durango. Huey Lewis' "do you believe in love?" played on my radio as I bounced over my neighborhood's bumpy brick roads on the way back to the pet store. 7:55:52 PM    comment []

below I am posting a single period just for the sake of posting something new and attracting more readers while I go to the bathroom and think of something to say . 7:27:31 PM    comment []

© Copyright 2004 Mark Michaels. Last update: 2/1/2004; 6:28:35 PM.