Friday, January 30, 2004

the wrong gilligan I know this dude named Jason White who looks and talks a lot like the Skipper from Gilligan's Island.  In fact, his business is making tiki huts for people with palm frond roofs.  The name of his business is Gilligan's Tiki Huts.  (I don't know why he didn't call it Skipper's Tiki Huts, but he just didn't). Anway, I know this other dude named Chris Sturgeon.  He doesn't exactly look like Gilligan, but he's in the same ball park.  Skinny.  Funny.  Happy go lucky, but with some Don Knotts nervousness mixed in.  Chris' claim to fame is music.  He plays bass and guitar and does his part in different alternative rock bands.  He does this and that for money, but music is his thing. I know this other dude named Clark.  I don't know him as well as Chris.  But I know that Clark is a music dude too.  Plays drums I think.  I also know that Clark looks a lot like Chris Sturgeon.  Or at least he did about ten years ago. You see, Jason White was good buddies with Chris Sturgeon.  (It was a Skipper and Gilligan kind of thing).  They were such good buddies that Jason could do something like come up behind Chris, bear hug him and lift him up in the air while pinching his nipples.  This is just what Jason White did out on the sidewalk in front of a club called Channel Zero about ten years ago.  The thing was, it wasn't Chris Sturgeon that Jason grabbed from behind that night.  It was this guy Clark.  Clark didn't know Jason and Jason didn't know Clark. When Jason White let Clark back down on the side walk, Clark wrestled himself out of Jason's arms and whirled around. "What the fuck do you think your doing?" Clark screamed. "Oh, I thought you were someone else," Jason said. "You need to get the fuck away from me," Clark said. 7:05:55 PM    comment []

19 screens of life left I know its a cliche to say that time goes faster and faster as you get older.  But, hell!--it really does! I mean, each one of those little blue numbers on the calendar over there represents a day of my life.  And those days come down to a couple of blog postings each.  I swear that little blue calender for January filled up in the blink of an eye. Then just now I was trying to figure out how much life I have left as represented by those little blue salon radio calendars.  At 33 years of age I probably have 50 years left if I'm lucky.  That equates to 600 little blue calendars. Then by doing some quick finger measurments, I figured you could fit about 32 of those little blue calenders per computer screen.  That amounts to less than 19 computer screens worth of life to scroll through. Crap!  I better hurry up and do something amazing.  (Cause that's what its all about--doing something amazing.  Don't buy into that crap about spending quality time with friends and loved ones). (I guess this post won't make much sense once it gets pushed down the blog away from the calender, but you can always scroll quickly up to the top of the screen to get the proper effect). 4:28:26 PM    comment []

duh! voodoo hex Earlier this week I did my MJ stunt, where I tried to spoof Tampa Bay that its (supposedly) no.1 rated morning show was going off the air.  I made a banner that said, "MJ morning show final broadcast: February 13th!"  All I wanted was to get MJs goat for a little while, and get a little publicity for the blog.  But MJ stonewalled me and then had a couple of his interns drive over and tear down the banner. I figured that the stunt was basically a bust.  But just this morning, MJ made a quick little announcement at the end of his broadcast. "We won't be back on the air in Atlanta on Monday," he said.  "It was just a decision by management there.  So that's that." Curious little coincidence, don't you think?  Atlanta, by the way, has got to be his biggest market. See MJ, if you had just given me a little airtime you might have avoided the Duh! voodoo hex.  Its not too late, MJ, you still have a few cities left. 3:58:26 PM    comment []

© Copyright 2004 Mark Michaels. Last update: 2/1/2004; 6:29:30 PM.