Thursday, February 05, 2004

led zeppelin, pink floyd and the sickening feeling of beating off thirty times in one day By tenth grade (1986) I still thought there was no better music in the world than the soundtracks to movies like Raiders of the Lost Ark and Star Wars and ET.  I listened to them over and over in my  bedroom, letting my imagination carry me away to a Spielberg-esque fantasy land. But somehow my friend Tom Foster got me to listen to something "new."  This new music was Led Zeppelin.  It's not that I had never heard them before.  I knew about "Stairway to Heaven", and maybe "Whole Lotta Love".  But one day in my junior year something clicked and I became completely infatuated with Led Zeppelin.  For the first time in my life I listened to actual rock albums from start to finish.  It was only one step from total dork-dom, but it was an important one. So then it was nothing but Led Zeppelin all the time, over and over.  I tried to like other bands too, but none of them seemed as good as Led Zeppelin.  I started with Led Zeppelin II, and then Houses of the Holy.  And then Led Zeppelin IV, and then I.  Before long, I was scraping the Led Zeppelin music bin at the local record store for their lesser known titles like Presence and Coda and various live albums. When I finally went off to FSU in 1988 I ended up on the top floor of my dorm building.  I was pleased and amazed that everyone there listened to Led Zeppelin all the time.  They also smoked lots of pot. At FSU I doubled my personal musical cannon by discovering Pink Floyd.  I went through the same process with Pink Floyd as I did with Led Zeppelin.  I started out with Dark Side of the Moon, and Wish You Were Here and the Wall.  And then after listening to those albums a million times I started scraping the music store bin for titles like Umma Gumma and Meddle, and old ones like Saucer Full of Secrets and Piper at the Gates of Dawn. At first this was a common bond between me and my Cuban roommate, Manny.  We would smoke pot and listen to Pink Floyd and Led Zeppelin. But then one time Manny came back from a weekend in Miami and he told me, "Man, I went home and pulled out my Zeppelin albums in my room and I didn't want to hear any of them.  You've made me sick of them.  You've made me sick of Led Zeppelin!" I felt kind of bad.  Before long I dropped out of college anyway and I moved back home with all of my Pink Floyd and Led Zeppelin albums.  I tried to decorate my room with cool Led Zeppelin posters and Pink Floyd pictures like a teenager would have done back in the 70s, but it wasn't quite as magical when you were a college drop out in the late 80s living back at home again. Then one day they started this "new" radio station in Tampa Bay.  For the first 24 hours it played nothing but "Stairway to Heaven".  Then after that they  played nothing but Led Zeppelin.  I listened to it all the time, even though I already had all the albums and had listened to them a billion times.  Then the radio station added another band to its play list: Pink Floyd.  I almost began to feel like the radio station was mocking me, but still I listened to it all the time. I kind of still enjoyed listening to Led Zeppelin and Pink Floyd, but I kind of didn't too.  I started to have that sickening, too-much-of-a-good-thing feeling, sort of like beating off thirty times in one day. (I didn't really crack myself up writing this story, which means it probably isn't that funny or inspired.  But it still tells you something important about me: I used to listen to way too much Led Zeppelin). (afternote:  As part of my effort to decorate my room like a teenager from the 70s, I wrote little snippets of Led Zeppelin lyrics on my wall in magic marker.  This was to help inspire me with the meaning of Led Zeppelin songs, and show people that I knew and appreciated the words. One of the lyrics I wrote in magic marker was: Some people die and some people cry by the wicked ways of love/but I just keep on rollin' long by the grace of the Lord above. Then one day my ten year old sister, Jeannie came into my room and read my Led Zeppelin lyrics.  She pointed to one of the words and showed me that it was misspelled. "Wickel ways of love?" my little sister said. 10:52:14 PM    comment []

68 cents + genius Last night was another exciting breakthrough for Duh!--I got my first donation  through paypal. To mark the occasion I decided to do a special Duh! project.  Since the donation was only a dollar, and paypal took 32 cents as a processing fee, I had 68 cents left to work with for my project budget. But inspiration and genius can not be stopped by excuses or lack of funds.  I immediately constructed a paper boat and named it in honor of my first benefactor.  (Or at least his Yahoo name). 8:15:54 PM    comment []

Then I fitted this auspicious vessel with a merry passenger. His name is Mr. Fillingsworth.  In his youth, Mr. Fillingsworth was seconds late to the patent office, and was thus robbed of millions of dollars of Sillyputty royalties. After managing a deli in Roanoke, VA for fifteen years, Mr. Fillingsworth was captured by the CIA and subjected to horrible experiments involving various syrums and mind probes.  After his final experiment Mr. Fillingsworth was reduced to a tiny, paper cut-out man, whose only suitable work was chartering tiny paper boats. 8:14:55 PM    comment []

After taping Mr. Fillingsworth into the USS Lots of Car Parts, I pulled out my Verizon Yellow pages and flipped it open to a random page. I plopped my finger down among the tiny lines of names and numbers.  The name that I happened upon will be the recipient of the USS Lots of Car Parts, to be delivered first class by the US Postal Service.  I am certain that this action, through unimaginable repercussions and unseen consequences, will alter the destiny of the human race. (Future donations will likewise be rewardedwith Duh! projects, commensurate with the budget provided). 8:14:10 PM    comment []

la-la-luh-la-luhhhh-la! How much of a dork was I in highschool?  Well, let me give this illustration: If you would have walked by my bedroom on a Friday night during my tenth grade year, you probably would have heard the soundtrack to ET blaring through the door. 8:18:44 AM    comment []

© Copyright 2004 Mark Michaels. Last update: 3/1/2004; 8:15:48 AM.