a little bit too far
 This is what happens when an art prank goes a little bit too far.
About five years ago I was making this series of artworks out of 55 gallon drums and dropping them around town in various places. I did one at a nightclub and the club people thought it was pretty cool. I did one at a gallery and the art people thought it was pretty cool.
Then I did one at the St. Petersburg Times, and they didn't think it was that cool. They called the HAZMAT squad and cordoned off the area.
When I heard all the commotion I snuck back over to see what was going on and then I saw all of these fire trucks and police cars and people in protective gear.
I tried snapping some photos with my little disposable camera, but I quickly aroused the suspicion of one of the officials on the scene.
"Come with me," this one fire official said.
"Me?" I said.
"Yes, you," the guy said.
I started to follow him, but then I did a quick one-eighty and hauled ass through the parking lot and ran and ran and ran and didn't look back. I ended up in this very bad neighorhood by the interstate. It seemed like there were sirens and police cars all around me. I don't know how much of it was real and how much of it was an adrenaline pumped paranoid state.
I finally knocked on the door of this shabby looking cottage. I asked the old man that came to the door if I could please use his telephone and he reluctantly agreed.
While he was getting the phone I looked back into the dark living room of the place. There were several amputees lying on beds all about the room.
It was a very strange coincidence, considering the police and firemen thought they were dealing with a bomb.
When the old man brought me the phone, I dialed John Vitale's cell phone number. He was painting signs in the outfield for the St. Pete Devil Rays.
"John," I said in a hushed voice. "You gotta come and get me."
(I posted this tonight because I just got myself an epson rx500 printer/scanner/photomagigger. So this infamous photo was the first one I scanned. It didn't come from my rinky dink disposable camera, it was actually taken by the St. Pete Times, and I have posted it here without permission, of course).
7:55:40 PM 
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