 autopsy of a relationship
members of relationship: Mark (33 yo male) and Whitney (20 yo female)
length of relationship: approx 70 days.
how met: friendster (on line "meeting people" site)
first date: Movie, 21 Grams @ Tampa Theatre. Drinks at the Hub, then back to my place.
best date: first date.
last day together: Eating sushi and throwing a football in the park. Then dinner at my parents house (first full meeting of my family for her).
thing we liked to do best with each other: sex.
quality of sex: pretty good.
number of times having sex: 50-60
positions: mostly missionary. Some her on top. Usually finish with modified doggie.
kinky practices: a couple times with bondage. Sometimes with vibrator.
things we did besides sex: Go out for food and drinks. Watch tv and movies. Skateboarding (my first attempt at skateboarding).
get-together pattern: Almost exclusively at my place. She would drive 45 minutes down from Lutz (to St. Petersburg) and spend weekends at my place, plus usually one other week night.
calling pattern: Mostly reciprocal. At least one day time call to say "what's up?" and one night time call to see what happened with each other's day.
good qualities about my former mate She was cute, sexy, and pretty and very sweet (almost too sweet). She had a car and a job and a fake ID. She was very easy going. No religious hang-ups. She was very responsible without being a nag. She is intelligent and ambitious and hardworking and will probably make it as a journalist.
less good qualities: She could be at times unbearably complimentary, apologetic, and self-effacing. Our first few times together she complimented me so much and so heavily that it started to get weird. She also said she was sorry constantly for almost everything she did. On the weekends together I started to get suffocated by the constant togetherness.
use of the "L" word? Yes. I think I started saying "I love you" on the first date. She started saying it soon after. All phone conversations and departures ended with "I love you."
what was bottom line wrong about the relationship? It lacked a certain sizzle. I think we both liked each other very much and found each other to be nice, attractive, and pleasant partners. But there was definitely a lack of passion.
Also, we are probably both too polite and nice to have a powerful platonic relationship. Conversations tended to be sweet, silly, and kind of boring. I found myself doing chores and tasks while I listened to "things that happened to her that day" on the phone, knowing full well that I sounded distracted and barely interested. I could sum up the things that happened to me in my day in about ten seconds and then really didn't have much else to say.
places we talked about going to but never did: Jamaica, San Francisco, Mexico, New Orleans, Miami Beach.
gifts exchanged: She got me a fuzzy cactus and a pin-wheel, and a book by a writer from Spin Magazine that I'm sure wants to go to bed with her. She also got me a little magnetic, twisty bendy man from New York City that looked like it came out of a gum-ball machine.
I didn't get her any gifts.
cross-influences: I bought a skateboard so we would have something more to do together. (Its pretty fun I guess. I kind of like coasting down mild slopes. But I don't really see what's so fun about flipping a skate board and jumping up and down on it or skidding it along rails and dumpsters. My wrist still kind of hurts from falling on it 5 or 6 times.
She's probably more aware of blogging.
her most recent, previous boyfriend: a pro-skater that treated her badly. After they broke up he got meningitis, giving Whitney the impression that she had voo-doo like powers. He started calling her during our relationship and harassing her. Whitney said that he had a hole in his head from hockey puck shot that fills up with something like zit goo.
my most recent ex-girlfriend: the psycho bitch that smashed up my house. She had some sort of rage disorger and a bad facial hair problem.
who dumped who? Whitney dumped me.
method: cell phone call, approx. 8 minute duration.
reason for dumping me: she was overwhelmed with school and work and responsibilities. Plus she was having emotional difficulities of some sort.
veracity of dumping reason: about 60% honest.
level of shock and surprise at being dumped: About a 5 on a scale of ten. (There was definitely a tepid mood before and during her trip to New York. We didn't make love before she left. Still we seemed to have a nice weekend when she got back, including an exceptionally nice love-making session.)
level of grief and disappoinment: about a 2. I knew in my heart we weren't "soulmates." I was chafing under the weekend get-to-gether pattern. Also, I was starting to feel that my blog was getting boring since I couldn't be totally honest and blunt about a lot of things.
interesting coincidence: 3 of my recent relationships have ended just after a trip to New York City.
last conversation: Whitney wanted to know whether I would date someone who had HIV. I said, definitely not. She was surprised, like it was a cruel or intolerant way to think. Then she wanted to know if I would stick with her if she somehow got HIV. I told her that I wouldn't have sex with her anymore. She thought this was even more unbelievable and tried to argue with me about it. I said that's just the truth of how it would be.
after-break-up status: cordial. I have no hard feelings against her, and I do not detect any such feelings from her (unless she is hurt by this post) In a few days, I'll start getting pretty horny and will miss having sex with her.
likely-hood of crossing paths: slim. She lives in Lutz and I rarely venture beyond St. Petersburg. More and more I hardly leave my house except for work and bike rides.
9:53:08 AM 
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