Saturday, March 20, 2004

ex-girlfriend stuff I've still got Whitney's winter coat and her pink shower scrubee, and she says she has a few things of mine.  So I guess we need to work out a final possession exchange and reckoning. In the meantime, I still haven't done my final possession exchange and reckoning with the Psycho-Bitch (the girl before Whitney).  I've got her king sized bed and she claims she's got more stuff up in my attic.  To make things more complicated, I've got a lamp and a table that belonged to another guy that the Psycho-Bitch brought to my house for some reason.  I actually saw the guy in a bar not too long ago and he asked about getting the stuff.  I've grown fond of the guy's lamp (and its the only one I have in my living room) so I kind of played dumb and suggested that the Psycho-Bitch must still be traveling with it. But all of these straggling possessions with vibes and memories of bad relationships are really just cluttering up my life.  Maybe I should have an ex-girlfriend stuff garage sale.  Or better yet, a bon fire. (p.s.  I actually had two relationship periods with the Psycho-Bitch.  During the first period she just brought a few things over to my place, including this rug that went really nice in my living room.   After we split the first time she came over with this dude and took the nice rug away. But I got the rug back again when we started the second relationship period.  And this time the Psycho-Bitch brought everything she owned in the world along with the nice rug.  Most of her stuff stayed packed up in boxes here in my office where I write my blog.  But the nice rug went back in the living room. Then, of course, we broke up again after the Psycho-Bitch punched out a bunch of my windows with her fist and left a quart of blood splattered about my house.  A week or so after that she came back with some other guy to get her stuff and her nice rug). 8:27:12 PM    comment []

furry handcuffs Once when my daughter was 6 or 7 she was snooping around in my room for some reason when she found my furry handcuffs. She brought them out to me in the living room and said,  "why do you have these furry handcuffs?" I jumped up and grabbed them from her. "Hey, what were you doing snooping around in my room!"  I said. "I was looking for something," she said. "So what do you do with these furry handcuffs?" my daughter said. "Nothing," I said.  "They're just a silly toy.  You don't do anything with them." I put the furry handcuffs up high in my closet and figured my girl would just forget about them. But she didn't just forget about them.  For the next few days she kept bringing up my furry handcuffs over and over. "What do you do with those furry handcuffs?" she would say while we were riding to the grocery store. "Nothing.  Dont' worry about it," I would say. "Why do you have furry handcuffs?" she would say again at the blockbuster video store. "No reason," I would say. "Where did you get the furry handcuffs?" she would say as I watched her at the playground. "Stop bringing up the furry handcuffs," I finally said.  "I don't want you to mention it again.  Understand?" My little girl looked at me and nodded. A few days later my girl and I were over at my parents house sitting in the family room.  The nightly news was mumbling on the tv and me and my little girl and my parents were all sitting together in stoic silence. "Daddy's got pair of furry handcuffs," my little girl said. 12:13:29 PM    comment []

© Copyright 2004 Mark Michaels. Last update: 4/1/2004; 8:13:54 AM.