in other news of the day...
*Bob Bandit sold $13,900 in tree work today. Over ten grand of that was sold over the phone to a guy in Delaware sight unseen. Larry just got the landlord's phone number from a clueless tennant and gave it to Bob. Then the Delaware landlord insisted on wiring all of the money into Bob's account when the job was barely started. (I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it). Bob's already blowing the money with the Groper and his entourage at all the bling, bling bars.
*The Psycho-Bitch got verbally shredded by Bob Bandit after giving him some lip at the Mirage. I don't have the heart to repeat the string of insults that Bob hurled at her. Then the Psycho-Bitch exacted her revenge by ripping up Bob's copy of my book (Beautiful Loser) which I had just copied for him at kinko's this weekend. Then she tried to light my book on fire. The Psycho-Bitch has been kicked out of the Bandit/Groper entourage for good (so I'm told).
*Philip Gebser has revealed himself to be a hoax. He is acutally an old "chum" of mine from my USF days by the name of Bobby Sickler. (Yes, as in SICK-ler). Back in the day, Bobby and his friend (whose name I forget) used to go around dressed up as cowboys (named Bud and Buck Stuckey, complete with hats, bandanas, etc) and talk in funny cartoon voices about the mystical powers of Strawberry Coconut Yohoo and other such nonsense. They did this all the time, during classes, after classes, all throughout the year. They weren't getting a grade or anything for drama class, it was just some sort of joke for themselves that went on and on and on. They always spoke with their bandanas over their mouths to hide their "true identity."
Of course, this is just the type of person I would start hanging out with. I soon learned that Bob Sickler and his friend did lots, and lots, and lots, and lots, and lots of acid, to kind of keep up the "enthusiasm" for this running gag. (Again, SICK-ler).
I lost track of Bob Sickler for about ten years until he tracked me down through a google search and saw some of my art stunt articles.
Now Sickler's schtick seems to be making up fake identities on "myspace.com" and then fucking with people behind a kind of cybermask. He has at least three "fictional" personnas on "myspace.com" (that I know of) that he uses. A "dawn of the dead" type zombie that talks in Kid Rock, wigger lingo; a thickly accented, Czarist era Russian named Vladimir, and now the pompous, white-priviledge obsessed Philip Gebser.
Sickler's joke was pretty good for a while. He had me fooled that I was talking to a really impassioned, if misguided black idealist. Where he really crossed the line, however, was when he continued to e-mail me privately outside of the Radioland forum. The rhetoric got more and more hostile and personal. Then he started making claims that he had run my credit report, which crossed into the zone of identity theft or implied extortion.
His last chapter to this extended "pracitical joke" was to make up a "myspace.com" personality profile for Philip Gesber and then actually have him invite me to be his "myspace friend." When I clicked on the site I saw what was my worst nightmare: a gay, black, stalker looking weirdo who claimed to live with me here in St. Petersburg, Florida.
Now, the really SICK-ler part of this is when you consider all of the time this guy put into this joke. I mean, setting up a myspace account complete with photos and writing about all your interests takes a lot of fucking time. Add to that all the extensive e-mails that were sent for nobody's benefit than mine.
I really don't know who is scarrier. The imagined Philip Gesber, or the real Bobby Sickler.
(All of the other people I write about are real: Bob Bandit, the Psycho-Bitch, the Groper, etc.)
((I had like 3 or 4 cute little stories to write about today but all my blogging and writing and mental energy got caught up in all of this drama and threat bullshit. Why are people so freaked out about their ridiculous behavior being written about? It didn't bother them to do it in the first place? But now they are suddenly outraged and litigious when a literary mirror is held up to them?))
(((And every night there is the ominous crunching of leaves outside my blackened office windows.)))
10:40:18 PM 
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