Thursday, April 01, 2004

you have never made love until you have made love to a lion woman He-Man and the Masters of the Universe was a cartoon that came out a little after my time. But I still would sit down and watch some of it with my little sister Jeannie, who was a pretty big fan. I remember there was this one episode that featured Lion Man.  Lion Man had the head of a lion, but the physique of a champion body builder, just like all of the other characters on the show. In one scene Lion Man was was proudly and ernestly telling He-man what it was like to make love to a Lion-woman. "You have never made love, until you have made love to a Lion Woman," Lion Man said to He Man. My older sister Laura was there sitting next to me at the time. "How sssssSTU-pid!" she said after absorbing that bit of drama. (Come to think of it, my little sister Jeannie may not have even been around for the Lion Man episode.  But me and Laura weren't really watching He Man to watch it, we were just watching it to see how stupid it was.) 8:41:51 PM    comment []

beating the system Do you hate waiting at long, miserable traffic lights, especially at the end of the day when you're tired and you just want to go home, turn on the tv and see how many people have been blown up by suicide bombers around the world? Well, here's a trick I've learned through my years of driving on the sprawling and crowded highways of Florida.  You basically take Murphy's law and use it to your advantage.  If you're really hungry, then right before you head home, buy something really tasty for the drive that you can only eat when you're stopped at a stop light--some chili from Wendy's for example. You will immediately find that it is impossible to get stuck at a red light, even during a long, rush-hour journey.  If you do actually stop for a light, you will find that as soon as you pick up your plastic spoon and your cup of chili, the light will go green.  This has always worked perfectly for me. But the trick is, you have to really want the chili, so the Murphy's law is activated.  If you start laughing and boasting aloud how you've finally beaten the system, then  the magic is broken and you will be back stuck at the red lights. (Counting a large amount of cash has the same effect.  Also, if you just bought a CD from one of you're favorite bands, you will find it impossible to open it up and look at the little booklet with all the art and lyrics, etc.  Ditto with a really good zit you'd like to pop in the rear-view). 5:51:34 PM    comment []

I have about thirty seconds before I go to work and no ideas so here's the sixth ingredient in post fruity pebbles: termeric oleoresin 8:13:12 AM    comment []