star wars--return of the stupid
In case you were wondering, me and Rachel did make it to the Star Wars premier on the "real" opening night (12:01am, Thurs) along with about a zillion other people around the world.
How was it? Really, really stupid, just like the other new ones. And for the exact same reasons. The effects are great; the overall look of the film is great; the action scenes aren't bad, but every time characters start talking you just want to fucking laugh, or cry, depending on how long you spent waiting in line. Even the five drinks and three vicodins that me and Rachel swallowed didn't help. (Although it probably helped my feet considering one drunk dude stepped on them three times going to the bathroom and back).
But this isn't to say we didn't have a good time. Rachel began laughing uncontrollably (well I'm not sure she was trying to control it) as soon as all the spastic beeping robots hit the screen. She had never seen any of the Star Wars movies before, and I guess she wasn't prepared for cacauphony of "bloop-bloops" and "beep-beeps" that swirl around your head in THX sound.
I tried to keep my hypercritical movie brain in check and give the movie a chance, but when it got to the first love scenes with Anakin and Amidala(?) I just lost all hope. (If you've scene any recent bios about Lucas, you know he hasn't had a girlfriend or even a date since he got divorced many years ago, and it shows. He has somehow managed to regress into a pre-pubescent, super-dork state, where women are a hazy and abstract concept only partially explained by your sister's naked barbie dolls (my basic perspective until I was about 18).
Anyway, about an hour into it, we just got up and left--not because we we're really disgusted, but because the idea of finishing the night at a club just seemed like a better time.
Meanwhile, I keep reading these reviews that "Reveng of the Sith" is actually a good movie. Either Lucas put a few million is his budget to bribe critics, or they're just talking pity on him, considering this is his last episode.
8:38:12 AM 
|
