lost sunday

I have this thing that I do with my daughter's keyboard that I think is pretty amusing and entertaining.  First I hit the demo button, which makes the yamaha bust out with a flawless, if somewhat cheesy rendition of Billy Joel's "Just the Way You Are."

Then I  do a kind of "key board solo" on top of that, which is basically just a lot of mashing of keys and pre-school-esque cacauphony.  In a weird way I actually harmonize with the song (the way sloshed karaoke contestants do) and the overall effect is, I think, pretty entertaining.

But so far I've only done this preformance for a few close friends and loved ones, here in the privacy of my own home.

Until last night, that is.

Last night, after already guzzling a six pack or so, I decided to bring my daughter's keyboard to this 4th of July party just a couple of blocks away.  A friend of mine would be DJing there, and I figured it would be the perfect opportunity to debut my amazing keyboard solo.

So anyway, I got the keyboard all plugged in and positioned on the back patio, among the turn tables and PA stuff.  Then I went on to drinking and merriment, waiting for the crowd to pick-up and the perfect high energy moment to make my debut.

But I guess, I had a little too much to drink (and etc.) as the night wore on, because my idiot proof performance plan became idioted.

At some point, when the party was really pumping I told DJ Mega that it was time.  He then made a big announcement to get the crowd's attetion:

"Ladies and Gentlemen!  The one and only, the LEGEND OF MARK MICHAELS!"

Then the hip-hop music was turned down (that everyone was grooving to) and a silence filled the patio, ready to showcase my amazing keyboard solo.

But here's where my idiot proof scheme went awry:  I forgot to hit the demo button that makes the Billy Joel song play, or if I did hit it, I didn't hit it hard enough.  I was so fucked up though, that I thought the song was playing anyway, and I just started jamming on the keyboard to no accompaniment.  In my head, I was hearing this really amusing song parody.  But everyone else was just hearing this insane and unmelodic plinking and planking.

According to Rachel, everyone gave me their attention at first with great eagerness and anticipation.  But after a few seconds of just hearing plinking noises, they kind of turned back to their conversation, and muttered about what the hell was going on up there.

I guess I banged away like this for several minutes.  Rachel has it on video.  At some point I started to realize that something was wrong.  I think I realized that the Billy Joel song was only in my head, and not coming through the speakers at all.

Then, according to Rachel, I did some sort of stunt where I lifted myself up by the rafter above me, and kind of kicked my leg. 

Why?

I have no idea.  But then my shoe fell off, and I fell out of position with my keyboard.  Then I had this revelation that the keyboard solo just didn't work at all, and instead of saying anything or taking a bow, I pretty much just backed  away and escaped.

11:11:59 AM