smells like thirty-something ennui

Nirvana was probably my favorite band of the '90s.  It was the first band of my generation that was really a big thing.  Before that I felt like we had to look up to Van Halen, Led Zeppelin etc.

But for some reason I never bought any Nirvana albums or went to any of their concerts, or bought their stickers, t-shirts, etc.  I would just hear a Nirvana song come on the radio, get all pumped up and excited, and then the song would end and that would be the end of it.

In the mean time I just played my Pink Floyd and Led Zeppelin cds over and over again in the gloominess of my room.

I spent a fair amount of time hanging out with grunge, alt-rock kids with cool haircuts and lots of underground stickers on their cars.  But for some reason I just felt kind of funny joining in. I just couldn't take that first step.  (I mean, it seems like you either have to have the whole alt-rock kid package, or nothing at all.  You can't go around with one or two stckers, and one t-shirt).  I was this regular dude with a regular haircut wearing regular straight leg jeans and a regular t-shirt, that was attracted to alternative people, but unable to join their cult of coolness.

(I always had thing for alterna-chicks because you could just tell by the way they were always drinking and smoking and sporting tattoos of naked devils girls that you could get drunk and have sex with them, if they felt like getting drunk and having sex with you, that is.  Well, I guess I mean me.  Meanwhile, I'd see some pretty girl with a tasteful, conservative dress on, and a little, gleaming christian cross, and I'd be like, no chance). (This thought is just added in hodge-podge after-the-fact, right as I was about to go out the door and do laundry).

I suppose its best that Kurt Cobain died when he did, though.  Otherwise he would be in his forties releasing some sort of stupid solo album that reflected his more mellow stage in life.  Either that, or he'd be joining up with 50 Cent and Ja Rule to do some Grunge, Hip-hop fusion.

Blah, blah, blah.  Who cares.  I'm going to be doing stupid stuff all day long, like laundry and cleaning up the house and paying bills.  The Vitale's are having a big art thing at their warehouse tonight, so if youre into the whole art/party scene you might want to head on over there.

(I sure say the word stupid alot).

9:24:03 PM