 Um...um....um....
Let's see what happened today....got into a fight with my boss today, Bob Bandit, and told him to fuck off. He wanted me to pick him up in another county and then chauffer him 20 miles to the job site. His excuse was that he didn't have enough money for gas to drive all the way in. (The guy is a goddamn millionaire with a small castle on Tierre Verde, a Hummer with spinning rims, two boats, bimbo/silicone girlfriend, etc).
Previous excuses Bob Bandit has had this week which required him to be picked-up and chauffered across the county:
*My chrome rims got salt water on them when I backed my new boat into the slip, and now they have to be washed immediately.
*I got tendonitis in my elbow from fishing and I can't really drive a car.
*My the oil pressure guage on my Hummer keeps swinging up and down.
*My tendonitis is even worse today.
Then when you ask the guy for gas money he empties his pockets and shows you two dollars and some pocket lint. Meanwhile, I'm spending forty dollars a day on gas.
(I guess this is going to be a complaining post).
And here's another thing: whoever decided to make the ground so dirty?! And what happened to TVs with only three channels on them?
And how come nobody tells polish jokes any more?
*And now here's a quick review of a Tim Dorsey novel called Cadillac Beach: it sucks. It reminded me of a Kurt Vonnegut rip-off mixed with a junior college creative writing student (with lots of references to Florida for no other reason than to make Floridians buy his book and say," golly-gee! I know where that is!"
*Hey remember pencil fighting? Remember football pencils? Remember pencil fighing with football pencils? And do you remember biting off the end of an eraser and then kind of gnawing on that aluminum eraser holder thing? And biting it until it was flattened?
*Or better yet, do you know how pencil erasers somehow got stale and hard and when you try to erase with them, they leave that pink and graphite smudging on your notebook paper? Remember the little worms? And when the paper ripped if you tried to erase with the eraser that you bit off?
And remember how you could fix the stale eraser by rubbing it rapidly against your 3rd grade carpet? The friction would remove the stale exterior eraser crust, and suddenly you could erase again?
God, that was great stuff.
7:57:10 PM 
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