How to begin?

First let me say that I have no agenda herein other than relating the experience of a journey of faith. I'm not out to convert anyone. If you want Jesus, you know where to find him. It's not possible to communicate the experience of God in words, especially in words on a screen. So I don't intend to try.

If there is any reason that someone might find this journey compelling, it is probably this: Seven years ago, I was an atheist. I thought that people who believed in God were self-deluded neurotics wallowing in ancient wish-fulfillment fantasies. Today I believe in God. That transition, while fascinating, is not the primary subject of this story. This story is about the following step, from a life spent merely trying to understand God into a life spent with God. But the perspective of the skeptic, which has never left me, is one of the foundational aspects of what and how I believe. In this respect, then, I expect more than a little conflict, reappraisal, and rejection along the way. But I also expect understanding, increased faith, and unexpected joys and friendships. I honestly have no idea what will happen.

I'm hoping this travelogue will inspire me to remain honest along the way. If I don't stay true to myself, this whole project is doomed.

If you ever look at a Christian website, you'll often find somewhere on it a Statement of Faith. This is where the website tells you what their theological underpinnings are, expressed in creed form. For some reason, these websites seem to be solely owned and operated by Christian fundamentalists. These statements generally read like a laundry list of affirmations that I don't agree with: that the bible is the inerrant word of God; that mankind fell into depravity because of original sin; that we can only be saved from sin by God through Jesus, and so on. What follows is my own Statement of Faith.

I believe:

• that the bible is a collection of texts including mythology, theocratic laws, history, prophecy, and some very compelling narratives concerning a man named Jesus. Since these documents were written for many purposes, by many different people over the course of hundreds of years, it is not meaningful to say that they are a singular work with any singular intent. It is clear that many of the things referred to in the bible cannot actually have happened and are therefore metaphorcal or allegorical in nature. It is also clear that in many cases, the stories' authors were well aware of this. I also believe, in spite of the above, that God is to be found therein.
• that there is a God, who is the God of the Bible, and the God of the Koran, and maybe even the eternal Buddha. I'm quite certain that when we pray to God, God listens, regardless of how the holy name is pronounced or what the person who prays imagines God to be.
• that Jesus of Nazareth was a person who was so close to God that he became indistinguishable from God. I don't know if Jesus thought he was the jewish Messiah, or if he believed that he was the son of God. I doubt it matters much.
• that the resurrection of Jesus is the primary transformative event in the history of Western Culture. Also, that anyone who wishes may themselves be transformed in light of that transformation.
• that the truth of Jesus is one of love, mercy, and compassion. Also that to be Christians we must dedicate ourselves to love, mercy, and compassion.
• that what you do or do not do is pretty much none of my business, and that what you believe or do not believe is pretty much none of my business, too. If you have love, you are a sign pointing toward God. If you do not have love, you're a sign pointing to itself.
• that it is possible to know God through direct spiritual experience.
• that the closer one becomes to God, the less the relevant the limitations of physicality become. By this I mean two things. One, that the closer one is to God, the less the physical world appears to matter. Two, that the closer one is to God, the less the barriers and laws of the physical world literally apply; i.e., I believe in miracles of faith. I have no justification for believing this other than that it seems intuitively correct to do so.  
• that any of these beliefs are free to change at any time with increased awareness.

That's all I've got for now. The story begins in earnest next time.

This is the story of a voyage.

Right now I'm living in the grey area between two worlds. One is the world of the commonplace, the everyday. It is the world of appearances, of empirical data and reason. The other world is the world of spirit, where God dwells in God's infinite compassion and mystery.

This voyage is a spirit journey. It began as the story of an intellectual, skeptical atheist who discovered God. Now it has become the story of a muddled believer attempting to subvert the expectations of the rational world and live a life according to the spirit.

But what does that mean? For me it means that I'm in the process of leaving my job as a computer programmer and taking a leap of faith, into seminary and a career in ordained ministry. At some point, this voyage may be diverted by as yet unseen winds. Wherever the journey takes me, that's where I intend to go...