I'm going to be the guy that marries young couples and sends them out into the world with a wink and a gentle bit of wisdom.

I'm going to be the guy that baptizes their children, and who buries their parents.

I'm going to be the guy that, hopefully, they will pour their hearts out to when they're in need, in doubt, in grief, in anger. I'm going to be the one to hold their hands when they're despondent, and warm when they're cold and in need.

Those are some wondrous things to think about. But I'll tell you a secret: they also scare me absolutely shitless. I have no idea what that's going to be like. And that's part of the problem: I have no idea what it's going to be like. Am I going to end up as someone who really makes a difference in peoples' lives, or am I going to be a piece of scenery, a man in a white robe who prattles on about God to people in starched shirts and sensible shoes?

What I really want to do is challenge people. I kind of want to get in their faces a little bit, stir them up. Make them think. Water the seeds of transformation that God has planted in each of us. I've experienced preachers who had an uncanny ability to pierce my many layers of protective indifference and make me sit up and take notice. Sometimes what they said was controversial, and it bothered people. But it stirred others into action. Not that I want to stir up controversy for controversy's sake, mind you. But I want every sermon that I speak, every class that I teach, every meeting that I preside over or attend to say on some level, "God is here! God is present! God is right in front of you! So what are you going to do about it?"

Can I do that?

Because--and I hope I'm not simply demonstrating my abject naivete by saying this--a pastor has a unique level of access to people; soul-level access. Or at least he hopes he does. When you have access to someone's soul, you take on a large responsibility, but you also have a commensurate opportunity to shine a light into someone's life. Take a moment to think what the world would be like if we all had access to other peoples' souls, and we used that access to pour light and grace into them? Wouldn't that be something?

Am I starting to sound like too much of a Pollyanna? If so, you know what? I don't care anymore. I've spent so much of my life playing the part of Cassandra, that I'll gladly assume Pollyanna's role for a while. I want to see every act of kindness as a prelude to the kingdom of God, and every act of cruelty as the cry of a soul that wishes to be healed. I want to see every bored teenager as fertile soil for seeds of enthusiasm, and every disillusioned crank as a vehicle for redemption and renewal. Being cynical never got me anywhere. Being enthusiastic has brought me results. Believing in things that seem outlandish has brought me outlandish rewards. It feels good to be a little credulous!

Fear is the little devil that says, "You can't, you can't you can't. It's not possible" Hope is the little voice of God that says, "Maybe so. But you can anyway." And then, sometimes, you do.