Thrilling Days of Yesteryear

Diff’rent strokes for diff’rent folks…

Ron Sayles, a frequent contributor to The Internet Old-Time Radio Digest (his OTR necrology can be found here), has apparently decided to take up bomb-throwing as a sideline hobby with a post that asks people their opinion on what constitutes the worst of old-time radio.  He listed about five series, two of which were Amos ‘n’ Andy (a pretty easy target) and The Jack Benny Program (he qualifies this by concentrating on the period of those programs between Dennis Day’s departure and return from his hitch in the U.S. Navy).  Then the fit really hits the shan: Vic & Sade, Lum & Abner and Easy Aces all get the nod because, according to Ron, there’s “no story, no sound effects, just two people talking (in the case of Vic, three people talking).”

Meanwhile, Nostalgic Rumblings’ very own Charles Summers, CD (Doctor of Curmudgeon-ism) has posted an observation on his weblog concurring with Mr. Sayles’ opinion.  (Now, if I was a conspiracy nut—and I am—I’d be highly suspicious that the two of them were in cahoots to “stir the batter” and get some conversation going on the Digest.)  This got me to thinking about those people incapable of savoring the sublime joys of Vic & Sade, Lum & Abner and Easy Aces—and whether or not a telethon is needed to raise money for what must certainly be a debilitating mental illness (it’s hell getting old, they say).

Kidding, I’m just kidding…actually, it started the ol’ grey matter to pondering whether or not there are any OTR shows that I find—in Charlie’s words—“painfully boring.”

I came up with Cavalcade of America right off the bat.  Revered and beloved by many of those in The Hobby, this dramatic anthology—sponsored by DuPont and spotlighting historical events—was a long-running hit on both CBS and NBC from 1935 to 1953…and personally, I find it a bit of a yawn.  I tried one night to listen to one of Cavalcade’s most celebrated shows—a two-part broadcast “Native Land” that was originally heard September 22 and 29, 1941.  It was, in fact, going to be the subject of a TDOY post—but after nodding off three times in the first ten minutes (I had to keep going back to the beginning because I kept losing the show’s thread) I threw up my hands in despair and moved on to something else.  (A week later, I gave it a second try—still no luck.)  Now, the fault might be entirely within me—maybe I’m not getting enough rest—but for whatever reason, Cavalcade has the same effect on me as Sominex.  (My good friend Martin Grams, Jr. has penned a book on Cavalcade of America—and not surprisingly, it’s one of the few books he’s authored that I don’t own.)

There are other shows—maybe they don’t fall under the category of boring, but they’re simply not my cup of tea; I have a bottomless loathing for Boston Blackie and Philo Vance (sometimes I can tolerate Blackie, but Vance is an example—to me, anyway—of what Elizabeth McLeod calls “minimalist radio”), both of which I find dull and uninspiring.  At the risk of offending Harlan “Hal” Stone, I don’t care for the obnoxiously raucous Archie Andrews, and two other comedy shows that leave me cold are The Mel Blanc Show and Honest Harold (a.k.a. “Gildersleeve lite”).  I don’t get too excited about “canned radio” shows like Hopalong Cassidy or The Cisco Kid, and the same goes for The Mysterious Traveler.  I’m sure a good many people might be surprised to learn that I’ve never mustered any enthusiasm for the work of Carlton E. Morse; be it One Man’s Family or I Love a Mystery—two shows that have devoted followings.  Finally, I can also think of programs that I dismissed with one listen—Dr. Sixgun, Mr. Chameleon and Tales of Fatima were quite underwhelming, and Stewart Wright’s bete noire Danger, Dr. Danfield makes root canal seem like Mardi Gras.

In choosing to open this big honkin’ can of worms, Ron has unleashed a fury that valiant Charlie has tried to stave off with his blog entry—I like the Frankenstein and angry mob with torches and pitchforks analogy—but I’m predicting that this controversy will rage on for a week or so before the esteemed Dr. Summers nips it in the bud.  Fortunately, thanks to my generous donation, I can vent my spleen in this very space and not air my dirty laundry on the Digest.  I’ll also issue this caveat by saying that the views expressed here are just One Man’s Opinion (not to be confused with One Man’s Family).  (Hmph!  An I.Q. of an eggplant indeed…)

- Posted by Ivan G. Shreve, Jr. - 12:16:55 PM - comment []