Thrilling Days of Yesteryear
Wednesday, March 01, 2006Mention my name in Sheboygan
As March comes in like a lion (and hopefully goes out like a lamb), the good people at First Generation Radio Archives introduce yet another Premier Collection, well-calculated to open the wallets of old-time radio fans. This month’s offering is a ten CD, twenty-episode set of Matinee with Bob & Ray, the
If you’re a Bob & Ray fan (and if you’re not—shame on ya!) and are only familiar with their network shows—be it NBC, CBS or NPR—Matinee with Bob & Ray is a real revelation, in my oh-so-humble opinion. It began on WHDH back in 1946; Elliott was employed as a morning DJ and Goulding was assigned to read the hourly newscasts. The two men soon discovered that they had a remarkable rapport on the air, and an uncanny knack for being able to intuit what the other was thinking or going to say—influencing them to ad-lib witty sketches on Bob’s morning program. The management at the tiny 5000 watter, having secured the rights to broadcast the Braves and Red Sox games, threw the two men together in a show that preceded that day’s baseball outing—and if the game was rained out…well, that just left more time for them to do their patented brand of clowning. What’s fascinating about Matinee is that it’s a local show; Bob & Ray sound very much like the “Morning Zoo” guys you’d find at any small-town station…only cleaner and much, much funnier. Their shows have sort of a free-style, improvisational feel to them—almost like a form of “comedy jazz.” Even then, they were demonstrating their penchant for sending up soap operas (“The Life and Loves of Linda Lovely,” which predates their better-known parodies like “Mary Backstayge, Noble Wife” and “Garish Summit”) and other radio shows (“Dr. OK, the Sentimental Banker,” “Mr. D.A.,” and my personal favorite—“Jack Headstrong, the All-American American”). They joke about the various personalities that work at WHDH, and read (and I use that term loosely) local ad copy for businesses like
I know this testimonial is going to sound a tad biased, seeing as how I get to preview the shows when compiling the liner notes, but I honestly have to say that these twenty shows contain some of most falling-down-funny comedy I’ve ever listened to—one September 9, 1948 broadcast has a hysterical send-up of the old soap opera chestnut Ma Perkins (Bob & Ray re-christen it “Ma Gherkins”) and the two men even get a chance to showcase their musical talents (a November 8, 1948 show finds them harmonizing on “It’s Magic,” and several programs feature them singing the jingle for Mission Bell Wine) as well. So do yourself a favor and snap up this collection…and while you’re at it, hang by your thumbs…and write if you get work.
- Posted by Ivan G. Shreve, Jr. - 2:53:52 PM - comment []
“There’s a man who leads a life of danger…”
King Features Syndicate, anxious to cash in on the enormously popular Dick Tracy comic strip (introduced to newspapers in 1931), paired popular hard-boiled detective fiction author Dashiell Hammett with a comic strip artist named Alex Raymond (Raymond’s fame was just around the corner with Flash Gordon and Jungle Jim) to create Secret Agent X-9 in 1934. But right from the get-go, there was a conflict between Dash and the King Features folk: Hammett wanted the strip’s character to be a private eye (in the mold of Sam Spade, The Continental Op, etc.) while the syndicate pushed for the concept of a nameless, mysterious secret agent.
Raymond was just as unhappy with Hammett about the schizophrenic nature of Agent, and when Hammett ended up quitting the strip within a year (Hammett was only contracted for four continuities, but he was also hearing Hollywood’s siren call by that time as well), Raymond hung it up shortly after as well (he later approached the hard-boiled genre on his own with Rip Kirby in 1946) to be replaced by Charles Flanders in 1935 (the strip was written by various hacks at King Features, though Leslie Charteris—creator of The Saint—contributed continuities for a short while). The strip had a remarkably long shelf life despite the fact that it was never really a raging success; it was retitled Secret Agent Corrigan in 1967 and was retired by the syndicate in 1996. Still, Universal Studios—who did not discriminate when it came to looking for subject matter for cliffhanger serials—decided to film a chapter play based on the strip, which it released in 1937 (the same year it was also inspired to adapt Raymond’s Jungle Jim, Lyman Young’s Tim Tyler’s Luck and Sullivan/Schmidt’s Radio Patrol to the silver screen as well).
As the first chapter of Secret Agent X-9—“Modern Pirates”—opens, the audience witnesses the aftermath of a successful heist at the Bank of Belgravia, where a trussed-up guard makes his way to the alarm button to signal the police. A montage of activity follows, with the authorities chanting “Brenda” as some sort of mantra—as it turns out, the Brenda in question is Victor J. Brenda, described by a character as “the most notorious jewel thief in criminal history.” A group of agents at the Federal Bureau of Investigation—headed up by Chief Agent Wheeler (Larry J. Blake)—are viewing photos of Brenda, who has reportedly drawn his rations after perishing in a car crash during a frenetic police chase:
WHEELER: For years, police the world over have been trying to run him down…
SECOND AGENT: Well, his number’s been up for a long time…
THIRD AGENT: It’s a cinch it wasn’t the finish he expected…
(The camera cuts to a young man—Scott Kolk as Agent Dexter—who has just entered the room, and stays on him during the rest of the dialogue)
WHEELER: Sooner or later they all get it…even a mastermind like Brenda…the
DEXTER: The
Sure enough, a photo of the dead “Brenda” reveals a gun in his right hand—and any agent worth his salt knows the mastermind was a southpaw. So, with Brenda still at large, it’s up to Dexter’s sidekick (David Oliver)—a cab driver named Pidge (“P-I-D-G-E…P like in pumpkin pie, I like in ice cream, D like in donuts, G like in…aw gee, put Dexter on—he knows who I am”)—to inform his pal that Brenda’s finger man Blackstone (Henry Brandon) is in town. Observes Dexter: “Whenever that rat shows up, you can bet your life that Brenda’s getting ready to pull some big job.” Nevertheless, Chief Wheeler dismisses Dexter’s surveillance of Ratstone…er, I mean Blackstone as “routine,” and on Dexter’s recommendation, assigns rookie Jimmy Tilden to assist him. (Because Tilden is not prominent in the opening credits—in fact, he’s completely uncredited—I have a sneaking suspicion he’s not going to be around past the first chapter.)
In the meantime, Blackstone has exited another cab and walks along a pier to a “pirate ship” attraction, buying a ticket from the barker (Si Jenks) and, in showing his ticket to the ticket taker (Charles B. Murphy), reveals a special ring on his finger. The ticket taker then escorts Blackstone to a secret passage on the ship, which leads to a staircase and a room where the rest of Brenda’s henchmen (one of which is Lon Chaney, Jr.) are hiding out:
BLACKSTONE: Nice layout you’ve got here…you clear?
HENCHMAN: Plenty! They’d never think of looking for us in a spot like this…Brenda come with you?
BLACKSTONE (with disdain): What do you think?
HENCHMAN: It was a sharp piece of work he pulled in
BLACKSTONE: Just a smart lad who tried to cross Brenda…
Blackstone announces to his fellow hoods that Brenda’s next undertaking will be to swipe the crown jewels of Belgravia (estimated worth—and you’ll just have to imagine me placing my pinky at the corner of my mouth—one million dollars), currently on expedition here in the U.S. The gang balks at this idea, particularly because the jewels are under heavy guard, but a small, insignificant detail like that is not going to stop Brenda. In the next scene, Dexter and Tilden are supervising the transfer of the jewels—along with “a squad of Marines”—and Tilden expresses some trepidation at being responsible for accompanying the few and the proud on the ship as it sails back to Belgravia. As Dexter wishes him good luck, Tilden remarks: “I have a hunch I’m gonna need it.”
Truer words were never spoken. As the ship sets sail, a porter arrives at Tilden’s cabin with a radiogram—and as one of the Marines opens the door; they find the young agent dead as a doornail. Back at the FBI, Dexter is kicking himself for allowing this to happen:
DEXTER: Why did it have to be me who sent him into that death trap? And what makes it worse; I’d swear that the man who killed Jimmy Tilden was the one you assigned me to run down…
WHEELER: You mean you think it was Brenda?
DEXTER: Did you ever see a more typical Brenda job?
“The Brenda job” involves drilling into Tilden’s cabin and filling it with poison gas—fortunately, the person who killed the rookie left behind a matchbook containing bits of fabric, which the crime lab traces to a tailor in town. With “the honor of the
The scene then shifts to a seedier part of town in which an identified man exits a cab and enters an art shop. Carrying a bag, he produces from his pocket a safe deposit slip indicating that $50,000 worth of jewelry has been received. Shortly thereafter, Blackstone enters the establishment and chats with the man, who is revealed to be another one of Brenda’s goons, a man named Marker (Max Hoffman, Jr.):
MARKER (handing Blackstone the bag): Take this to the apartment and wait there until you hear from me…
BLACKSTONE: The men are a little worried about where you hid the jewels…
MARKER: If it’ll make them feel any better, tell them they’re in a safe deposit vault…
BLACKSTONE: Any chance of the G-Men finding the receipt on you?
MARKER: Well, if anything does happen to me, keep a sharp eye on every painting that leaves this store…
Blackstone returns to the apartment, and bumps into a “janitor” (Henry Hunter) on his way in. The janitor asks Blackstone if he can come in and tidy up, and after the villain gives him the A-OK, the custodial fraud proceeds to check out the clothing in Blackstone’s closet. He offers to help Blackstone put away some of his things and, having been handed the suit the feds are looking for, draws a gun on Blackstone—the janitor is none other than Agent Tommy Dawson, a fed in disguise! Blackstone cold cocks
Examination from the crime lab reveals that a piece of paper was stuck to the bottom of the bag Blackstone was carrying (with the numbers “726” on said paper), and since it was held there by paint Dexter deduces it must have originated from an art shop. Sure enough, the art shop where Marker and Blackstone met has a “726” address and Dexter scuttles off to check it out. Back at the art shop, a fetching blonde named Shara Graustark (Jean Rogers) meets with Marker at the shop—she’s apparently employed there but whether or not she knows of the criminal activity prevalent in the joint is unexplained. As Marker contacts the rest of the gang aboard the pirate ship (they depart en masse and, through another secret passage, pile into a motorboat and speed off) Dexter pumps the blonde for a little info:
DEXTER (showing her a picture of Blackstone): Ever seen this man before?
SHARA: No, I haven’t seen him…
DEXTER: Better think again—we have positive proof he was in this shop less than two hours ago…
SHARA: I’m not in the habit of being told that I’m lying…
Marker has been observing this exchange from another room and in closing the door alerts Dexter to his presence. As Marker escapes out the back, Dexter gives chase—Marker powers up another motorboat and Dexter makes an impressive leap onto it from the pier, fighting for control of the boat while the rest of Brenda’s gang follow in pursuit, shooting at Dexter and Marker. Dexter manages to subdue the art hood and gain control of the boat, but Marker (the sneak) introduces Dexter’s noggin to the business end of a wrench, knocking him out. As the boat speeds toward a large buoy, Marker jumps out of the boat, leaving Dexter to a life-threatening fate…
Tomorrow’s thrilling chapter: “The Ray That Blinds!”
- Posted by Ivan G. Shreve, Jr. - 2:45:20 PM - comment []
