Plays Well with Others

Kevin, the sub who’s spent the week in our downstairs, says, “It’d really help me if someone could scrape off the texture left on the ceilings.”  I don’t even think of doing it myself.  I call up the Speed Racer and bring him over.  As long as there’s equity I can spend, I don’t mind delegating.

Nobody sees or hears either of them for the next few hours.  I don’t like to interrupt people working so I stay out of the way.  I’m used to kids, where if you ask them how they’re doing, they tell you they were doing fine until you showed up.  Now they have to take a break.  The breaks never end.  With Kevin down there working, too, I figure I’m safe. 

It looks like part of a house, almost.  Gone is the three years’ accumulation of unused tools covered with sawdust and regular dust.  Gone is the abused insulation which was the only thing between us and the outside at some places of the walls.  Gone is the huge brick wall so cool in 1972 when this was built.  All you can see is clean, wonderful sheetrock and a normal-sized opening for a fireplace.

“It doesn’t look so bad down here with walls,” Kevin says.  “You don’t notice the tipsy floor when it’s all cleaned up.  I don’t think you need to straighten the floor any more.”

“I like your advice, Kevin,” I say.  “I’ll take any recommendation if it means I don’t have to do anything.”

Kevin goes back to edging the wall corners.  Speed Racer is earning his name so the texture is just about all off.  He comes upstairs for a bottle of Gatorade but doesn’t sit down like I would.  He seems to be interested in doing something else. 

“You want to paint the ceilings?  You know how hard it is for me to share a brush.”

“Sure,” he says.  “Which ones?”

“Upstairs, all of them except for the General’s room.  We had to do hers a while ago when she was annoyed with us for being so slow.  We did her ceiling and she stopped complaining for a while.”

The vegan comes by right after he gets started.  “I hear you have a girlfriend.  What’s her name?” Speedy asks.

“Shut up.”

 “What school does she go to?”

“Shut up.”

“Her name’s Lindsay, isn’t it?” Speedy says.

The vegan picks up the second roller and pretends to coat it with paint.  He walks over to Speedy who’s busy rolling the ceiling, and rolls his arm.

“Whaddya doing?” he yells, then he looks at his arm and notices he’s paint-free.  The vegan laughs and starts rolling the walls paint-free.

“What’s your girlfriend’s name?” Speedy asks again.

“You already know her name.”

“Oh, so you admit you have a girlfriend.”

“Shut up.”

“What school does she go to?”

“Shut up.”

The vegan rolls Speedy again, pretending to paint him.  Speedy turns the radio station to Country music, just to bother him.  The vegan listens for a minute and starts howling like a dog along with the song. 

“Ouuuuuu,” he says, “Her Mom’s heart was broken, ouuuuu.”

Speedy starts singing, too.  “ . . . that’s how the story goes . . .”

This lasts for a few minutes until the vegan says, “I’m bored.  I’m stopping work now.  Let’s go.”

“Not until you tell me where your girlfriend goes to school,” Speedy says.  “Don’t tell me she goes to Jr. High.  What are you hiding?  It’s good you have a girlfriend.  The only reason to hide anything is if she’s a manfriend.  Then, please, hide it.”

“I’ll come back later,” the vegan says.  He rolls Speedy one more time with the dry roller just to annoy him.  Before Speedy can do something annoying back, the vegan runs out to his car and drives away.

The General comes home from school about five minutes later.  She takes one look at Speedy and says, “He’s such a suck-up to our German teacher.”

“You can’t be a suck up if you’re flunking.”

“You say everything she says is a good idea,” she says.  “You’re a suck-up.”

“I was the first one who got moved in that class, I can’t be a suck-up.”

“I was moved second.” 

“Are either one of you going to pass?” I said.

They’re quiet for a minute.  I could be concerned except I’m not the one who won’t graduate or who won’t have to take the class over again.  I’m way too comfortable with letting kids take responsibility for their own actions.  I graduated from high school a long time ago.  I don’t want to think about it again.

“Oh, by the way,” the General says.  “You’re taking me to the prom and the vegan’s taking my best friend.  You don’t want to now, but you will later.  We have it all planned out.  Sorry.”

“F. that,” Speed Racer says, still painting the ceiling. 

“I figured you’d say that,” she says, “but it’s gonna happen.  You’ll see.”  She runs up to her room and shuts the door.

“The thought of that torture reminds me:  I have to write a paper.  Can I use your computer?”

“Sure, but we’re going out.  Can we trust you to be alone with the General?”

“Don’t leave me here with that rat,” he says.

“You’re leaving?” the General asks through her door.  “Buy me chocolate.”

“Don’t hit on him while we’re gone,” Charlie says.

“You can count on it,” she says.

We run out the door before we hear anything else which might scare us.

As we head to the Jeep, we see the sub from down under, Kevin, emerge from the dungeon.

“Are you still here?” Charlie asks.  “I didn’t hear you downstairs.”

“I just woke up,” he says.  “Now I’m going home and going to sleep.  See you tomorrow.”

Avoiding is another solution for dealing with others.

A little help? [] 10:42:20 PM