What’s Playing in Charlie’s Head?

When I started doing fixers with Charlie, I was used to a different pace. I don’t think my Dad has ever once slept in on a Saturday. He gets excited when there’s any work to do, even if it’s just changing the light bulb in the refrigerator. When he sits on the couch, it’s the very end of the day and he’s asleep within a short time.

My ex slept in, but he’d stay up until two or often four in the morning drilling, pounding, and drilling some more. Once he’d get started, he wouldn’t stop. He’d go for long spurts, getting a huge amount of work done. Sometimes he’d even finish something.

Charlie and I were on good behavior when we worked on our first house together. We didn’t sit around leisurely reading the newspaper and having another cup of coffee, as is our nature. We didn’t want to show each other our lazy side. We got up right away and got to work.

We must have become comfortable with each other, because that’s now how we work now. I’m not embarrassed to get on the computer for half the day when the ceiling’s begging for the easy last coat of paint.

I like painting and I look forward to doing it. When you savor something, you don‘t want to do it when you’re rushed, or when you have to stop and do other things in between.

I figured I‘d enjoy painting more if I put it off until tomorrow. Or the next day. Doing fixers, I’m my own boss. I’ll give myself the day off and come back strong later. Tomorrow, or the next day for sure.

I look over at Charlie and he doesn’t seem to be in a hurry, either.

“You want to know what’s going on in my head?” he says. “You might not like what I’m thinking, so don’t get mad.”

“Most of the time I have an irresistible urge to sit on my ass and watch the History Channel. This causes me to have a love/hate relationship with remodeling. Even when I have a project that’s very exciting to do and I want to get started, the couch and the remote both call to me in perfect harmony.

“I had every intention of grouting the tile around the fireplace. When Dylan needed a ride to go apply for jobs, even though you (Jill) had volunteered to do it, I found myself jumping at the chance to avoid doing work. This is work I was excited to do.

“Then when I came home, I was hungry. Who starts working on an empty stomach?

“I went upstairs and whined to you like a baby. ‘I’m hungry,’ I said every few minutes, so you couldn’t concentrate on whatever it was you was working on. If I’m not working, nobody’s working. One way or another.

“After you got laid off from your job, I told you I didn’t want you working so you could make me breakfast lunch and dinner. That’s how lazy I am. You don’t mind picking up my underwear or putting away my dental floss. Why would I want you to work? I’d have to pick up my own underwear.

“Tearing you away from the computer is like tearing away an alcoholic from a bar. ‘I’ll be home in a little while, honey, just one more drink.’ When you tell me ‘I’ll be right there,’ I know it’s at least a half an hour.

“I went and took the skateboarder kid’s brand new stereo out of his piece of crap car while waiting for lunch. Habitat for Humanity is getting the car for free. They don’t need a perfectly good stereo, too. I took the cherries with me out to the car and spat the seeds at Dylan as he skateboarded by me on the driveway.

“After about 45 minutes, you ran out to the driveway and said, ‘your salad’s in the fridge. I’ll be a few more minutes on the computer.’

“I went back inside, got my salad and immediately flopped on the couch and punched in my favorite tune on the remote: 3-7, the History channel.

“I glanced over at the unfinished fireplace and thought, ‘Oh what the hell, I’ve got the rest of my life to finish it. Jill’s not here to make me turn the channel so I’m going to enjoy this.’

“In your defense, it gets old watching five hours straight of Hitler and World War II. You get up after an hour and say, ‘Let me know if you want to hear how this ends. I’ve seen it already. Many, many times.’

“I stretched out my salad eating, chewing slowly, like you’re told to do when you’re a kid. I thought if I stretched it out slowly enough, I could make my lunch last until it was time to go to church tonight.

“I was about ready to start to work. I thought I better do something. ‘What can I do for about a half an hour?’ I thought. Then Sean came over, one of the adult kids who doesn’t live with us.

“I decided to sit and relax and listen to Sean’s plans about how he was going to pay for college instead of trying to grout for a half an hour. As I previously thought, I have the rest of my life.”

Who wants to live in a finished house anyway? You’d just have to worry about dust.

A little help? [] 10:55:54 AM