Upheaval

“It’s paint,” one gym rat Mom says to another, pointing to a nice celery-colored patch of green on her arm.  I’m naked in the dressing room, but I’m listening.  They’re talking about my favorite subject.

“I know what you did last night,” the second one says.

“Yup, ’till two in the morning.  I had to finish; the husband’s coming home tonight.” 

“You have one of those, too?”

“Mine’s a ‘no upheaval’ husband.”

“Mine, too.  Do you wait until he goes away to remodel?  I once painted my bedroom, bought new bedding, rearranged everything and didn’t say a word.  He still hasn’t noticed.”

“Last time he went away on business, I painted the entryway,” the first one says.  “He came home and said, ‘Something looks different.  Did you get a new rug?’  ‘No.’  ‘New furniture?’  ‘No, honey,’ I said.  He still doesn’t know.”

“Are you going to tell him you repainted the kitchen?”

“Oh no!  I promised him I wouldn’t do anything until after Christmas.  He’d kill me.   ‘Don’t make me deal with all that upheaval,’ he says.  I’m at home living with those walls all day long.  I’m the one who has to suffer.”

“They have no idea,” the second one says.  “I tell him, ‘You try staying at home with kids.  It’s like if I came into your office every twenty minutes, picked up your computer and shook it.  Every twenty minutes you’d have to reboot and start all over again.  That’s what it’s like cleaning, doing laundry then having kids mess it up all over again.’”

“That’s a good way of saying it.”

“It must be.  He said, ‘I’ll never be a stay-at-home Dad.  I couldn’t do it.’”

The stay-at-home gym rat secret-remodeling Moms walked away, leaving me partially naked and completely smug.  Upheaval is a good thing in my house.  It means someone’s doing something.  It means kids can skateboard down the stairs or spill things without worrying about ruining the carpet. 

Even if it means living without walls or laundry facilities, it’s out in the open.  I couldn’t hide remodeling – I’d be too proud to show it off - and I can’t lie well.  If I lived like that, I’d end up doing worse than shaking somebody’s computer every twenty minutes.

A little help? [] 11:53:00 PM