Holiday Greetings from…
Last week I got a Christmas card from my chiropractor, Dr. Pooling. It was a postcard, with a photo of the staff at the chiropractic center decked out in holiday apparel. The form note read, “Wishing you a joyous and healthy holiday.” It had computer-generated signatures for Dr. Pooling and all the others. I haven’t been in to see Dr. Pooling for well over a year now, a good thing.
Several months ago, I hurt my back digging a hole in the garden to plant a tree. I could feel my lower back give way on the downward stroke as my spade hit solid earth. Ugh. If you’ve ever had back trouble you know that feeling, the instantaneous recognition that you are done. Done for today. Done for tomorrow. Done for the day after that. Done and in bed.
I nursed myself back from that episode without going to see Dr. Pooling. Something I’ve learned over the years is that I get over my back trouble in the same amount of time whether I go to the chiropractor or not. And the “or not” option is much less painful on my wallet.
The day after I received the Christmas card from Dr. Pooling, there was another postcard in the mail. Same holiday scene. Same people. Only this time, the computer-generated note read, “Stress from the holidays is the leading cause of unexplained back pain. Don’t neglect your back this holiday season.” I remember reading some studies about the effects of stress on back-related injuries. And I know for a fact that I’ve felt a few twinges during some high-stress points in my life.
A couple of days later there was a third card: “Realign your back now to ensure that you are on your feet for the holidays. Call for an appointment.” This time, instead of the computer signature, there was a hand-written note. “Haven’t seen you in awhile, Jack. How’s that gardening injury coming along? Merry Christmas, Tom Pooling.” Strange. I was sure that I hadn’t contacted him about the gardening thing. Or had I? I was taking a lot of pain pills at the time, but I don’t think I called him. So how would he know about my injury? Did I see him for a prior gardening injury that I’ve forgotten about? Maybe that was it. Still, I found the coincidence to be odd. My back started to throb.
When the fourth card arrived, I picked it up with trepidation. With a thick felt pen, Dr. Pooling had scrawled the words: “Untreated, your back pain can lead to worse problems: stroke, paralysis, even cancer! Enjoy the holidays, if you are able, Tom.” I didn’t go into work that day. My back was in a knot, the pain radiating up and down my spine.
Three days ago there was another card with another hand-written note: “I have an opening today at 14:30 – T.P.” I wasn’t sure what to do. My back was killing me. I could barely stand up straight. But the thought of getting into a car made my back spasm and caused a buzzing sound that went back and forth from one ear to the other. I decided not to go. The guy was freaking me out now. I didn’t want him to touch me. I just needed some rest, a hot bath, maybe some relaxation tapes, deep breathing exercises.
I’ve spent the last three days in bed and have been making slow and steady progress. The pain in my back has lessened considerably. The buzzing sound in my ears has diminished from horsefly intensity to gnat. This afternoon, I went out to the box to pick up the last few days’ mail. (I haven’t gone near it, are you kidding?) There was another holiday postcard. “Uh oh,” I thought. But this card was not from my chiropractor. This time it was from my dentist, Dr. Glenn. “Wishing you a healthy white smile this holiday season.” And just like that, one of my bottom molars, number two on the right side, started to ache, sending out a steady, pulsing beat of pain across my jaw – Pa rum pum pum pum. It reminded me a whole lot of that Little Drummer Boy song. Amazing.
6:11:26 PM 
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