Goo Gone Guy
Today was one of those days where a fourth order household chore not even on the radar screen somehow shot up to the top of “to do” list. Today I replaced the felt pads on the legs of my kitchen chairs. I could wait no longer. The glue was completely shot on the old felt pads. For months now, okay, years, the felt pads have been popping off, causing the wood from the chair to scrape against the hardwood floor and leave big scratch marks. Normally, I would just stick the pads back on and they would hold for a couple of weeks. But lately they have been falling off as quickly as I put them on.
There comes a time as a guy when you just have to face facts, take responsibility, roll your sleeves up, get out the phone book and see if you can find someone to fix these damn chairs. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find an entry in my yellow pages for felt pad repairman. (What’s the world coming to?) So, I had to do it myself.
What I discovered first off is that even though the old pads wouldn’t stick to the bottom of the legs any longer, there was still a lot of goo down there that kept the new pads from sticking, too. So, the goo would have to go. But how?
With Goo Gone, of course. I found some under the kitchen sink in a small squeeze bottle. What luck! Got Goo? Get Goo Gone! I wondered if that was their slogan. If it wasn’t, I would have to write them. I read the back of the bottle carefully. There was no slogan, per se. They did note, though, that this product combined “Citrus Power with Scientific Technology to eliminate the very toughest problems.” I thought about that for a while. Well, citrus power is pretty strong stuff. It cures scurvy, after all. And scientific technology is good. Without scientific technology we wouldn’t have such life-improving devices as The Clapper which allows us to turn our lights on and off by clapping our hands. So, why not combine citrus power and scientific technology into one product that will remove the goo from the bottom of my chairs? It just might work.
It did work. I applied the Goo Gone as directed and the goo came right off the chair legs. What’s more, the new felt pads are sticking like a charm.
With the job done – and done well I might add – I started thinking a) I deserved a beer; and b) I really like the idea of “combining Citrus Power with Scientific Technology to eliminate the very toughest problems.” I started fantasizing about a superhero that would use Goo Gone to solve some of society’s very tough problems, like Ann Coulter, Paris Hilton and our dirty little war in Iraq. This was going to be the focus of my blog today. It seemed just perfect and so original. Then I went out to the web to see if Goo Gone had a site. They do.
Story over.
You
Really
Must
Go Here.
5:09:06 PM 
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