Holiday excess similes
My taste buds are like dumpsters lined up in a New York City back alley.
My bank account is like a bereft widow of a ne’er-do-well.
My waistline is like an astronomy textbook illustration of the expanding universe.
My attention span is like 1/16 of one battle scene from the Return of the King.
My energy level is like a long nap after an even longer night of sleep.
My desire to go back to work is like drool from a mad cow.
9:20:08 PM 
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