My freezer has an automatic ice-making device. It has a functional flaw. As the ice tray fills, the pile of cubes pushes on a lever that tells the machine to stop making ice.But the icemaker isn’t happy until it has overfilled the tray and created an avalanche threat. Every time I go to the freezer to grab a handful of ice, two or three cubes break free and head down the steep slope toward the kitchen floor. I have come to expect this and even make a game of it. I never approach the freezer without a glass in my hand. When the maverick ice cubes come careening down, I position my glass to try and catch them. I have been doing this for years. I have never caught a cube. Not one. I understand a little bit about statistics. There is an inherent probability that a falling ice cube will land in my glass. I have calculated that probability to be exactly once in a fucking while. I mean, am I right here? Wouldn’t you think that every so often an ice cube would clink into the glass? I’m guessing the odds of me actually catching an ice cube are pretty much the same as winning the big stuffed animal at the carnival by knocking all the cans off the pedestal with a single baseball. That, too, is statistically possible; it just never happens for me. I see the proud guys walking around the carnival grounds carrying the big panda bears that they won for their girlfriends or kids. Perhaps you are one of those guys, one of the lucky ones. I’d like to invite you to my house to face the icemaker. Come on. Give it a shot. What have you got to lose? Here’s a glass. Step right up. Open the door and let’s see what you can do. Well, how about that? That’s what I call beginner’s luck. Try again, big guy. Bravo. You really are good. Can you make it three in a row? Wow, I am impressed. Now how are you with a bottle of gin? That’s it. Very nice. And some tonic water? Whoops, spilled a few drops, but we won’t disqualify you for that.Don’t forget the lime. Sound the bell! We have a winner!Help yourself to a stuffed animal on the way out.
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