Recipe for a backache:
1 warm, sunny day
2 -3 aged vertebrae (including disks and nerves)
1 very dirty car
1 hose attached to spigot
1 sponge
2 buckets of soapy water
1 shammy cloth
1 cold beer
1 wax applicator plus wax
1 bottle window-cleaning solution and clean, dry cloth
1 vacuum cleaner
Wash car thoroughly. Bend over or hunker in an awkward position for long periods of time while making repetitive wiping motions. Don't forget the hard to reach places like the wheels, roof and beneath the bumpers. Wipe approximately 500 times. Replace soapy water and repeat. Dry car thoroughly with shammy. Apply wax. Open beer. When beer is consumed, wax is ready to be removed. Assume the awkward positions above and wipe 500 additional times. Stand back and admire. Make futile attempt to realign back which should already be stiff at this time. Vacuum interior of car by bending and contorting body to reach the carpeting beneath the seats and dashboard. Bang head on the steering wheel (optional). Spray windshield with glass cleaner and wipe clean by reaching forward in positions you didn't know your body could make. Put away supplies. Rest. Back should continue to stiffen with time. Add more beer as necessary. Sleep eight hours. Backache is complete. Serves one. Store on ice packs. Backache will last 3 - 5 days depending on the age of the bones.
12:50:19 PM  Random Nonsense
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