In the Suburbs
These lyrics were inspired by Matt's story on the modern day ghetto and are presented with apologies to Elvis Presley and Scott Davis for this cold-hearted butchery of "In the Ghetto." (Original song lyrics can be found here.)
As the snow flies
On a cold and gray Ashburn mornin’
A rich little baby child is born
In the suburbs
And his mama cries
’cause if there’s one thing that she don’t need
It’s another gifted and talented mouth to feed
In the suburbs
People, don’t you understand
The child needs a private school education
Or he’ll grow to be a bored young slacker some day
Take a look at you and me,
Are we too blind to see,
Do we simply turn on Survivor Pearl Islands
And look the other way
Well the world turns
And a bored little boy with a 140 IQ
Plays on his X-box as the cold wind blows
In the suburbs
And his boredom burns
So he starts to roam to Starbucks at night
And he learns how to make cappuccinos
And he learns how to say “dude”
In the suburbs
Then one night in desperation
A young man breaks away
Buys an iPOD, steals his momma’s car
Tries to run, but he don’t get far
’cause his mamma got LoJack
As a crowd gathers ’round an embarrassed young man
Face down on the street, tripped on his iPod cord
In the suburbs
As the young man undergoes reconstructive orthodontia
On a cold and gray Ashburn mornin’,
Another gifted and talented baby is born
In the suburbs
8:58:06 PM  Random Nonsense
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